Terrified of being alone

[beauty]

Ever since having my first panic attack over 10 years ago my solution has always been to run to the nearest person (even if its a stranger) and tell them then it calms me down (even if they dont particularly say anything). For this reason I've always been afraid of being alone, even when I've not been suffering with panic attacks the fear has still been present.

Being alone has now become my trigger to have a panic attack, its like my mind thinks "you're on your own now, there's no one around to help" then it starts.

I'm going through a bad phase of it at the moment and have already reached a point where I'm completely avoiding being alone. I'm lucky that my Mum works for the same company as me and I've been going in with her for the last few days. I literally can't imagine driving to work on my own ever again. I semi tried it today and drove myself but my Mum followed me and was only ever a couple of cars behind which made me feel safe. If she hadn't been there I think it would have been another story.

I have actually been through this before about 6 years ago and reached a point where i couldnt do anything alone but somehow I got over it, yet I can't remember how and it isn't really reassuring me much. I just remember not feeling that afraid anymore like I got over it. It feels more intense this time though and I'm not seeing a way out...

Has anyone else felt or been through this?

[WhyWhyWhy]

:hugs:

I wish I had some advice for you but I just want to say you're not alone,

I used to love my own company, I'd go anywhere and everywhere alone and preferred it that way. And now things have really taken a turn and I'm getting to the point where I can't stand being alone and whenever I am I start googling and over thinking. I can't stand being on my own, I almost feel vulnerable. If I'm alone I think and start ruminating. I need to lose this fear xxx

[Bonnibelle]

I went through this before Christmas, and still am to an extent. I suffered a big set back last November and I had awful intrusive thoughts which made me fear being alone. This is different to your situation but I became so scared if I was alone then something bad would happen. My husband had to work from home for a while and I could never go out alone in the car. The only way I have got through it is by trying to be alone. I am now doing 9-2 alone every day then my hubby works at home until 5 in his office. I feel bad he does that but we are weaning me off being alone slowly. Only a few weeks ago I couldn't even be upstairs alone, knowing my husband was downstairs, it was that bad.

CBT will really help you, maybe see if your GP will refer you. You shouldn't have to suffer alone. There is also a great CBT course online, it's called CBT4PANIC. I recommend this course, it really helped me.

Good luck x

[star2sparkle]

Hey :) I think you will find that what got you through before was something else that diverted your attention, a distraction, something happening in your life and then you lost the fear because you were thinking more about that. Try to find something absorbing again, to get your teeth into. Small steps are good but don't give up. Not sure about CBT4Panic to be honest. I think altering your thoughts are good but with the support of an expert not someone making money from your anxiety from you.

[Bonnibelle]

I got the CBT4Panic course free and Robin has been a huge help to me. The course teaches you exactly what you learn doing a CBT course, and educates you on all the feelings we experience during anxiety and why they aren't a threat. I'm not saying it will help everyone but CBT is a good treatment for anxiety conditions.

Also, try reading At Last a Life, it is an excellent book.

[star2sparkle]

I agree Bonnibelle, and CBT is the most popular therapy available. It is just that one size will never fit all and some people require a bit more support. CBT can be a bit of a sticking plaster as it doesn't uncover the causes that could crop up again at some point and bite you on the rear! However, saying that, there is much hope to be found with CBT and anyone kind enough to offer support for free should be admired.

[kim22]

Hiya, i am exactly like this, i don't go out alone, and i don't stay at home alone for a long period of time either, as soon as i do i start to panic!! I feel like isn't going to be anyone around to help me!! :-( is so frightening and exhausting!! I've been like this for 2 years now and its just not getting better, im feed up to the point that i don't really care if i'm here any more or not!!

Please dont feel alone in this, you can message me anytime you like

:bighug1:

xx

[beauty]

Thank you so much for all the replies, it's such a good feeling to know I'm not alone and even to know that some of you have beaten this phobia.

Kim22 I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling like this for so long. I think I've always had a thing about being alone, I remember when I was young (as in 11 or something) being left in the house for a couple of hours and I felt so uneasy but didn't know why. It has only become a big problem again recently though after randomly getting a panic attack and letting it spiral out of control.

Most of the time I'm not alone anyway but the hardest thing right now is driving, I feel alone in the car even though there are other cars around it doesnt help as I know I wouldn't just be able to stop my car in the middle of the road and start banging on another cars window for help!! It's really annoying as I usually love driving on my own :mad:

You can message me anytime too :hugs:

[trish1955]

I to can never be alone even when had my first panic attack bk in 60s I was 12 nobody new wat was wrong as it was not heard of back then so I had to get on with it for years wen I was 19 had my first daughter my anxiety an feeling of panic were so strong I was afraid to be home with my baby she is forty now I am still afraid to be lone and I am agoraphobic so bad now it gets me down as you always feel like yr putting on your family so much and restricting there lives to take care