Inherited HA

[Miss Worry-a-lot]

I'm new here, so hi. I've only just found this page and believe it or not, I didn't think anybody else had such hard health anxiety. Guess I have been living in my own little bubble. It calms me to see that I'm not the only one.

I'm eighteen and have been worrying about my health since I was six years old. If I find a lump, I'm sure I'm dying of some sort of cancer. I've been through the stages of worrying about every cancer in the book. I spent the whole of last summer believing I had leukaemia because my gums were bleeding, and that pretty much ruined my brother's wedding for me. Turns out I had a bit of gum disease because of my braces.

Right now, I'm worried because I found a lump in my necks. It's soft, movable and sometimes I don't even feel it. So deep down I know it isn't cancer, but I still worry about it. How does that make sense?

My question is, does anybody else believe this is inherited? Or maybe learnt behaviour?

The first time I started to worry was when I was six. My mum and dad divorced when I was four so my time was split between them. I was at my dad's house and he started to be sick, sweat, and shake. I hadn't got a clue what was going on. It was horrible to see my dad - who is my world - in such a state. Nobody likes seeing their dad cry. I called my mum because I was scared and she came over and forced him to breathe into a bag. He was terrified that he had an ear infection and I sat on the stairs listening to it all. My mum wanted to take me home but I stayed with my dad because I was scared of leaving him alone and ever since, I stayed with him to make sure he was OK when he had those panic attacks. Since that day, I've had panic attacks about my own health.

So, does anybody else have a parent with health anxiety? Do you think it is inherited or just learnt behaviour?

Hope everybody is OK today. :)

[Andrash]

Both my mother and father suffer from health anxiety. My father is a classical case-always asks for reassurance, checks repeatedly every lump, bump, mole or sore and talks about it all the time. My mother doesn't complain, she's silent about it, but she is terrified inside. She was once totally convinced she had ovarian cancer although she didn't have any symptoms at all. Fast forward two years-she had a mild case of Bell's Palsy. Although 2 neurologists told her it was Bell's, she was totally convinced it was a brain tumour. Her anxiety eased when her face went back to normal, but even a year after that she would spend hours in front of mirror to look for possible facial asymmetry.

When I was 15, , my grandfather and my uncle died from cancers (liver and lung) in quick succession. Not long after that, I developed a lump in the throat sensation. That's where my HA started-for more than a year I was convinced I had a throat cancer. However, after no other symptoms had appeared, my anxiety gradually reduced and with it the lump sensation. For more than 10 years (I am 29 now) I was anxiety free. Two years ago, I was for a month even a caregiver to my other grandfather who suffered from severe heart condition and didn't feel any anxiety (except fearing for his life, of course).

Some six months ago, I underwent some significant changes in my life and routine-and HA was unfortunately back, probably because of that. For the last 5 months I've been convinced I suffered from certainly 10 different cancers and motor neuron diseases. I'm now being helped by a counselor, and I feel better-it's still a struggle, but I'm managing to keep it under control and feel certainly better than two months ago.

So, your answer-although I don't have any scientific proof, I do think that my proneness to onsets of HA was somewhat inherited. It's probably not the only culprit-but I believe that there is something, that in combination with other factors, causes anxiety to (re)appear. At least in my case. :)

[Tanner40]

Welcome to NMP, Miss Worry. A Lot. You're going to find many people here who will understand exactly what you're going through. My Mother had an anxiety disorder. I think that it is partially genetic and partially learned behavior. Good luck with your journey. Keep posting and learning from folks on here. All can and will get better. It's a matter of finding the right tools and working on it

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Miss W,

From all the research I've done on the subject, I believe it can be genetic, learned/environmental, due to a traumatic event or experience or a combination thereof. I don't suffer from anxiety but have had bouts with depression. My mother suffered from depression and was in therapy for many years. She also has some other psychiatric issues/behaviors that were confusing to me growing up. I believe it was in my early twenties that she had me speak with her psychiatrist who explained what was going on and it revealed much of what I experienced.

For me personally, my bouts of depression were due to traumatic events. I obviously didn't inherit the malady nor any of the other issues my mother faced. My father didn't have any issues that I'm aware of.

I believe how a mental illness comes about is as individual as the person stricken with it.

Positive thoughts

[WhyWhyWhy]

I believe mine is definitely a learnt behaviour from my dad. I remember my first HA, I was very young and thought I had cancer because hair came out when I brushed it. I knew people with cancer lost their hair. Didn't want to tell my parents because I didn't want them to worry. My dad is a huge health worrier, always at the docs getting check ups etc. I only made this connection quite recently between my anxiety and my fathers anxiety.

Funny thing is he mocks people with mental health issues and I'm more certain now than ever he's the one who suffers most. He's a proper mans man, very macho. I guess he sees mental illness lie anxiety or depression as weakness. I know this for a fact actually- I remember a few years ago I mentioned a college friend was bi-polar. He told me to stay away and I gave him a lecture. Anyway I'm rambling now but yeah you're not alone xxx

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

I don't have HA, but at the age of 36 I was suddenly stricken with panic attacks, that turned quickly into panic disorder with agoraphobia, along with acute levels of anxiety (manifesting physically, not really mentally). I am now walking the long road back to the land of Recovery.

I come from parents and grandparents that all suffered from undiagnosed, but obvious, forms of depression and anxiety. I have had anxious tendencies since I was young, but they have always been channeled to making me more driven. I have struggled a lot with perfectionism, and I now see that is linked to anxiety; however, I have never had anxiety that has interfered with my life in a "negative" way until last November.

Four years ago I came very close to dying after delivering my son, then 18 months later suffered a miscarriage, followed by two years of infertility, and then a year ago became pregnant with my daughter.

It was a very rough pregnancy- on threatened miscarriage for 11 weeks, each week going in for ultrasounds to see if the baby was still alive. I had terrible, terrible morning sickness and vertigo. At 20 weeks we discovered I had a complete, centered placenta previa, and as the doctors put it- "I was a time bomb waiting for a hemorrhage." The baby wasn't even viable at that point, so every minute of every day was spent trying to keep my baby growing. Somewhere along the way I started checking in with my body and every little sensation. This is where my over sensitization to every feeling in my body started happening. I was focused though, and through my spiritual faith (I am a follower of Christ.) I remained calm and even joyful most days. I was scared, but trusted overall things would turn out well.
At 27 weeks to the day I had my first hemorrhage. I started strict, strict bedrest in the hospital.

One week later my parents broke the news to me that my mom had been diagnosed with advanced breast cancer.

Throughout the next eight weeks I had a little time on home bedrest, but for most of those two months I had to live in the hospital- away from my husband and little boy. I also spent 24/7 hooked up to monitors. Talk about getting over sensitized! All I did was watch our vitals and listen to our heartbeats.

August 1, my father had a massive heart attack (main artery was 100%) blocked.

The next day at six weeks early I ended up hemorrhaging badly enough I had to have an emergency c-section. Very scary stuff- traumas, and a lot of them.

Weird thing was after my daughter and I were released about two weeks later- I was ready to hit the ground running. I felt great! My nervous system, however, was about to have a breakdown. Right at three months after having my baby it all started "out of the blue"....and here we are.

So, that is my story- I hope sharing that doesn't lean toward hijacking this thread- I just wanted to share my version of the anxiety story.

Genetics, Learned Behavior, and Trauma= a recipe for a perfect storm of anxiety, but one we can weather!

[hangingbasket]

I'm not sure where I got it from as neither of my parents suffer with HA.

However, I do think it's learned behaviour because my 9 year old daughter has started with the oh so familiar HA traits that she's probably seen from me over the last year.

The guilt I feel for this is terrible.

I think I'm dealing with it quite well and going through a basic version of CBT with her as well as some child friendly relaxation techniques.

She's under control now.. maybe I recognised it and intervened in time. I hope so. I'll always feel guilty for this. I obviously made her have HA but I'll do anything within my power to stop her suffering like I have, and so far... we're doing ok!

[Fishmanpa]

To add to this very interesting discourse.....

Concerning those that have wee ones in the house. I believe that our fears, habits and other quirks can be passed on and learned. Kids, especially young children are like sponges.

There was another post where Mom saw/felt a node and was so concerned that she took her 2yo to the doctor for "her" reassurance. This is not the best of things to be doing IMO. Kids are gonna have snotty noses, coughs, poops and a host of other things. That's totally normal and nine times out of ten they don't complain and it doesn't phase them in the least. We need to learn as parents the subtle signs that indicate a real illness and use discernment as to when to act on it.

I was sick a lot as a child due to allergies and subsequent sinus/ear/whatever infections. I went to the doctor a lot. It wasn't until I was 12 years old that it was discovered I was allergic to just about everything. I got allergy shots for several years to address this. Fortunately, it never affected me in a negative way where I worried about my health, but I did learn that I could stay home from school if I complained enough and I took advantage of that of quite a few occasions ;) My parents caught on quick though and it stopped pretty quick ~lol~

We all worry about our kids. That's part of being a parent and comes with the territory. I have adult children and I still worry about them and I always will BUT there's a line that needs to be drawn when one suffers from HA IMO. If they see you worried all the time about every niggle, they can and possibly will learn that behavior. It's no different than using a cuss word. I'll never forget the time my son dropped his cup of juice and said "Oh Shit!"... Guess what? My language quickly changed! ;) My daughter (youngest child) had some issues in speech development. She literally spoke a language of her own. Her Mom and I were seriously concerned and addressed it with her doctor. He wasn't too concerned as she was really young but had us keep tabs on it for about 6 months to a year when he said we should have her evaluated as she wasn't getting to where she needed to be. We came to find out that her mind was working much faster than her mouth and wires were getting crossed in the process of sending the words and what came out was gibberish to us. She knew what she was saying but no one else did. So off to speech therapy where she learned to slow down. Good Lord! The flood gates opened and she hasn't shut up since and still can talk extremely fast. I still have times I tell her to take a breath and slow down ~lol~ The point being, we were concerned but didn't freak out by any means. We trusted our doctor, followed his advice and all is fine. Every little niggle is not going to be serious or life threatening.

My ex (kids Mom) suffers from depression and my daughter (now 20) has some depression issues as well as anxiety issues. I've spoken to her in depth and actually mailed her the CBT course that's free here. I've personally used it to help with my most recent bout of depression. I'm sure that she developed her depression and anxiety from environmental factors and perhaps hereditary reasons as she went through some tough times after the divorce.

So, I guess the point of this ramble is that HA can be learned as stated by quite a few posts. It would behoove those with little ones to address their HA for this very reason as well as for your own well being.

Positive thoughts

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

^^^^So good, FMP.

And, I don't suffer from HA, but this can be applied to all of us as parents in many areas.
Do we know how to apologize and ask forgiveness? Do we persevere when times get tough? Is our tendency to react in anger? Do we have the "I'll get you before you get me" approach? Do we play the victim? Do we turn to drink for peace? The list goes on and on.

Of course, we are only human, so we are going to fail at times, make mistakes, etc...., but good parents are those that don't beat themselves up about it, but keep their eyes open to room for growth and redirection in their own lives so that it gives their children even more opportunity for well-adjusted and healthy lives.

[Fishmanpa]

^^^^So good, FMP.

And, I don't suffer from HA, but this can be applied to all of us as parents in many areas.
Do we know how to apologize and ask forgiveness? Do we persevere when times get tough? Is our tendency to react in anger? Do we have the "I'll get you before you get me" approach? Do we play the victim? Do we turn to drink for peace? The list goes on and on.

Of course, we are only human, so we are going to fail at times, make mistakes, etc...., but good parents are those that don't beat themselves up about it, but keep their eyes open to room for growth and redirection in their own lives so that it gives their children even more opportunity for well-adjusted and healthy lives.


^^^^ Yes! That is some wisdom right there TooMuch!

I don't care how many books you read on the subject or how good your own parents were, we pretty much fly by the seat of our pants as a parent. We all make mistakes but hopefully we all do some things that our children carry with them long after we're gone.

I'm blessed in that I really do have good kids. My son is wise beyond his years and has done more at 23 than most have done at 63! I'm very proud of him. My daughter, despite the challenges she's faced and is facing, is an incredible young woman and will do quite well for herself I'm sure. She's now a junior in college and majoring education wanting to teach special needs children. I'm very proud of her achievements and inner drive to help others. Both have gleaned a lot from both their Mom and myself. That's about all we can ask and hope for as parents :)

Positive thoughts