wilcb003
31-01-14, 13:50
For the last couple of weeks i have had a pretty scary encounter with what i think is HOCD but am terrified it is some sort of latent homosexual feeling.
I am not homophobic at all, but the idea of being gay upsets and scares me and these thoughts just fuel that emotion. My thoughts started after i had a dream about my best mate coming out.
I have been straight all my life, first crush was a girl, had relationships with girls and recently had a break up with one.
I do not find myself actually finding men instinctively attractive, i just continually force myself to look hard and question whether i do. I am grossed out by gay porn and the thought of that.
Its hard to reassure myself though, especially since i had one experimental experience when i was 13, nothing major or full on, but enough to make me question myself now i'm 20. Even then i didn't consider the possibility of being gay though, i was attracted to girls at the time, i just didn't even think about it then.
I am not homophobic at all, but the idea of being gay upsets and scares me and these thoughts just fuel that emotion. My thoughts started after i had a dream about my best mate coming out.
I have been straight all my life, first crush was a girl, had relationships with girls and recently had a break up with one.
I do not find myself actually finding men instinctively attractive, i just continually force myself to look hard and question whether i do. I am grossed out by gay porn and the thought of that.
Its hard to reassure myself though, especially since i had one experimental experience when i was 13, nothing major or full on, but enough to make me question myself now i'm 20. Even then i didn't consider the possibility of being gay though, i was attracted to girls at the time, i just didn't even think about it then.