Deckardblues
01-02-14, 19:36
So here is me. I'm a Staff Nurse. I look after patients dying of Cancer. I have been doing this for 8 years, and recently got promoted to Senior Nurse. How would they feel if they knew these people that I look after every day, these nurses under me who I guide, who look up to me, if they really saw me. I noticed when I finished my last shift as I got changed there was blood coming through my jeans. I had cut myself too deep. I cut to release the pain. I drink to feel numb for a while (but have cut right down, no pun intended). I take my Citalopram and I try and keep sane for another day. Sometimes it helps. The trouble is now I have a week off. That scares me. I have stopped. I am no longer in work mode. What will happen. Will I cut myself more, will I drink more, will I want to end my life again, will I go into this depression mode..Its sad but only here do I show the real me, do I not hold back...