sansa
02-02-14, 14:12
Hello. I feel a bit out of my depth here but here goes. Quite a few things have happened over the last 2 years. First my one and only daughter moved away, I thought I was coping well as at the time I was busy looking after my mum who had advanced dementia. Then my mum got so much worse and I couldn't cope so had to place her in residential care. This broke my heart as she declined quite quickly and I felt like I failed her. During this time I went out less and less, kind of cut myself off from everything, and when I did go out I had terrible anxiety. So I just stayed at home and relied on my niece a lot for shopping etc. My mum died in July last year and I can`t help feeling guilty that its all my fault. My niece who was helping me out also moved away a few months ago, now I have no-one. I don`t mean to sound so selfish but I feel like everyone is deserting me. I have been to my doctor and have tried different antidepressents, at the moment I am on Sertraline 50 mg, they worked for a few months but I feel like they are wearing off, is that possible. I have had 2, 6 week CBT sessions, Which helped a little but as soon as they end I seem to revert back to my old ways. I have someone coming to my house next week for intense CBT, I don`t know what that involves and am very anxious about someone coming to my house. I must add that I am 57 years old and feel so disappointed in myself, I feel at my age I should handle things better. So sorry for the long post.