Could it be that I am managing to stop them ?

[cloudbusting]

I'd like to run something past you all who are recovering or have this under control now.

Bit of background - I sing in a band and last night was our first gig ina couple of months and our first one since my panics have been particularly bad. As you can imagine, I was both looking forward to and dreading this in equal measure.

The gig was a long way from home and I drove myself there alternating between the anxious feelings and feeling OK. Anyway, the gig went great, I had a bit of a panicky moment halfway through but it quickly passed. Got home in the early hours.

Got up (too) early, did some chores, walked the dog and then went back to bed for an hour. I was extremely tired and a bit hungry. Then I felt 'it' start. I was about to fight it when I just thought, hang on, you know this feeling, let it come and let it pass. I swear, within a few seconds it just vanished. Weird.

Rest of the day has been ok, just now though it was time for the Sunday routine - bathing my daughter, getting stuff ready for school, thinking of all the things I need to sort out this week ... felt it rising up again. I just stopped and thought the same 'oh come on and hurry up. Do your worst, you make me feel rotten for a while then you go away so just hurry up !' And it stopped again !

Am I actually doing this ? Have I finally started to crack how you neutralise this thing ? I read Claire Weekes and I have been reading about this technique on a few websites. Do you think I am managing to stop them, myself ? It feels weird that they are not manifesting !!!

Lisa x

[Phuzella]

Good isn't it :D

[cloudbusting]

Good isn't it :D

Ha ha ! :yesyes:

Is this really it then ? I've been anxious and panicky every day for months now ... It feels weird not to be.

[Phuzella]

I'd say so. I suffered very badly with anxiety years ago and have been absolutely fine up until quite recently. I've had a few panic attacks but have managed to stop them in their tracks, very hard to explain lol.
Anyway well done and keep up the good work:)

[cloudbusting]

Thanks Phuzella. Yeah, it is hard to explain.
I feel like Dorothy clicking her shoes - is that all I had to do ?!

[T101]

Funny how we have conversations with our panic attacks lol i too have experienced stopping 'it' by saying "lets ride the wave then, lets go, do your worst etc etc' and that's exactly what my therapist told me to do "don't fight it, ride it out". I don't want to rain on your parade but for me, it doesn't always work, sometimes i feel "it" building, heart pounding ready to erupt and i say "lets ride the storm then" and it says "yeah and i'm gonna make it a heck of a storm for ya" and i have an awful panic attack :( Then other times when im in places i know i usually panic badly and find myself coping i tell myself "i'm doing so well this is no problem" and no sooner do i say it but i get a bad panic attack!!! Maybe i haven't quite mastered the art of conversation with my panic attacks but it sounds like you have so well done, keep going...feel the fear and do it anyway :)

[Yossino]

You're at the point where it will go away, you're on an upswing. You will sometime in the future you will be worried it might come back. Try your best to ignore that if you can. Keep positive.

[cloudbusting]

Thanks, everyone.

So far today I have had some anxious feelings, still a little tired from the weekend but lucky enough to be able to take it nice and easy today.

I live in my head so much. I am constantly planning ahead and stressing about stuff that's months away, it's ridiculous ! I need to rewire my brain.

I'm under no illusion that I shall likely have relapses but it doesn't concern me. I am someone with a panic disorder right now - that's all there is to it.

I shall keep practising.

Have a gentle day, everyone.

Lisa x

[Phuzella]

Try some mindfulness :)

[cloudbusting]

Phuzella, that's so weird as I am just Googling mindfulness !

Are there any free courses, does anyone know ?

Thanks

[Phuzella]

Try Headspace, you get 10 lessons free. Or look up Jon Kabat Zinn on YouTube

[WhyWhyWhy]

Are you on twitter, there's some good mindfulness accounts to follow. They post lost of things that I find helpful throughout the day xxx

[cloudbusting]

Thanks for the info. I have joined up to Headstart, the 10 in 10 programme.

For the first time in around four months I haven't panicked at all today and managed to take my gorgeous daughter out for tea and cake after school.

Roll on tomorrow :D

[cymraig_chris]

You don't need permission to know you are getting better. :D

[Tanner40]

Great job, Cloud Bursting. It may not always work like this but the more you practice acceptance the easier it gets. You will be more efficient at keeping the panic at bay, the more that you practice. Congratulate yourself and enjoy every victory. You got this.

[cloudbusting]

Thanks all.

Hmm, not out of the woods yet. No panic today, felt moderately anxious for much of day plus nauseous with a sore back. Very tired.
I managed to go out and see a friend for a couple of hours, which was great.

It really is a rollercoaster, isn't it ?

:wacko: