mrdave92
04-02-14, 00:34
hi guys, i've had a much better day today and thought i'd share it with you all. The day hasn't been great symptom wise but i've felt much more confident in going about my business.
I went into university for 6 hours attending lectures and found myself often raising my hand to answer questions and provide input into discussions. This doesn't sound like a big deal but it's a big contrast to last week where i only managed to go in for an hour and sat next to the window feeling so anxious, depersonalised and frightened to the point i almost had to get up and leave.
I was captain of my football team in school and always seen as a very confident and funny guy by my classmates (sounds like i'm blowing my own trumpet but i'm not) i was even voted prom king when we graduated! it's really horrible how this anxiety has crippled me to the point i've been staying in and afraid of leaving the house, i feel this is getting slightly better now and long may it continue! I don't feel myself yet but i'm getting there, i have 6 flatmates here and the last few nights they've been finding me really funny and say i seem much more like myself than i have been for the past few weeks.
I also ventured into town by myself today and bought some new clothes, university items etc. again this doesn't sound a big deal but i struggled to walk from my bed to the living room a few weeks ago and constantly needed someone there to support me, it felt good to have confidence and independence again. When i was out i was still suffering symptoms and had a horrible dizzy spell in a shop but i powered through it and eventually it subsided.
In terms of my symptoms and worries they're still there all day pretty much. Today i've had the usual sharp, hot and stabbing pains in joints/muscles, headache that comes and goes, dizziness, dizzy spells, sinking stomach feeling, pins and needles in feet, muscle twitching, trembling hand, heaviness under eyes, internal vibrating, fluttery chest/palpitations, craving sugar/sweet foods, itching, constipation, mucus in stools (sorry for that Fishmanpa!) and a strange rash on my face that comes for an hour or 2 then goes- it feels very dry. I'm still worried about Brain Tumours or Lupus/Lyme disease due to the rash/joint pain and i'm scheduled to see a doctor Thursday about my unusual stools and stomach gurgling. I'm hoping for an IBS diagnosis which may explain some of my other symptoms e.g joint pain etc.
I've got my 2nd CBT session booked for Wednesday and i'm now taking Trazadone which seems to have helped except a horrible headache the day after changing from Fluoxetine to Trazadone, it's still lingering but it's settled down. I struggle to awake on a morning as it sends me into a deep sleep, almost like a baby sleep!
I feel like i've progressed in terms of my confidence to be out and about but the symptoms are persisting and are as alarming as ever which is really frustrating! Maybe it's just been a good day and tomorrow will be bad but i've felt a lot better about things, although the underlying fear due to symptoms still remains.
I went into university for 6 hours attending lectures and found myself often raising my hand to answer questions and provide input into discussions. This doesn't sound like a big deal but it's a big contrast to last week where i only managed to go in for an hour and sat next to the window feeling so anxious, depersonalised and frightened to the point i almost had to get up and leave.
I was captain of my football team in school and always seen as a very confident and funny guy by my classmates (sounds like i'm blowing my own trumpet but i'm not) i was even voted prom king when we graduated! it's really horrible how this anxiety has crippled me to the point i've been staying in and afraid of leaving the house, i feel this is getting slightly better now and long may it continue! I don't feel myself yet but i'm getting there, i have 6 flatmates here and the last few nights they've been finding me really funny and say i seem much more like myself than i have been for the past few weeks.
I also ventured into town by myself today and bought some new clothes, university items etc. again this doesn't sound a big deal but i struggled to walk from my bed to the living room a few weeks ago and constantly needed someone there to support me, it felt good to have confidence and independence again. When i was out i was still suffering symptoms and had a horrible dizzy spell in a shop but i powered through it and eventually it subsided.
In terms of my symptoms and worries they're still there all day pretty much. Today i've had the usual sharp, hot and stabbing pains in joints/muscles, headache that comes and goes, dizziness, dizzy spells, sinking stomach feeling, pins and needles in feet, muscle twitching, trembling hand, heaviness under eyes, internal vibrating, fluttery chest/palpitations, craving sugar/sweet foods, itching, constipation, mucus in stools (sorry for that Fishmanpa!) and a strange rash on my face that comes for an hour or 2 then goes- it feels very dry. I'm still worried about Brain Tumours or Lupus/Lyme disease due to the rash/joint pain and i'm scheduled to see a doctor Thursday about my unusual stools and stomach gurgling. I'm hoping for an IBS diagnosis which may explain some of my other symptoms e.g joint pain etc.
I've got my 2nd CBT session booked for Wednesday and i'm now taking Trazadone which seems to have helped except a horrible headache the day after changing from Fluoxetine to Trazadone, it's still lingering but it's settled down. I struggle to awake on a morning as it sends me into a deep sleep, almost like a baby sleep!
I feel like i've progressed in terms of my confidence to be out and about but the symptoms are persisting and are as alarming as ever which is really frustrating! Maybe it's just been a good day and tomorrow will be bad but i've felt a lot better about things, although the underlying fear due to symptoms still remains.