Help me get over this blip....

[MarkJames3]

Since Christmas when I went down hill very quickly and was probably at ny worst anxiety wise for five years I have gradually been implementing little changes that for a while worked, I was slowly becoming happy and bad thoughts were becoming less and less.

I still had bad thoughts and definitely wouldn't say I was loads better but I was getting there.

But the last week or so things have reared up again. About 3 years ago I found a lump behind my ear which I played with loads at the time and went into melt down... Went to the docs who said it was just a node that is harmless and it may stay like that forever, when I ask people to feel it, they can't feel anything but I can and it feels prominent to me. Anyway after seeing a couple of docs about it 3 years ago, I got over my anxiety about it and it's been there ever since but hardly ever check it.

Then last week, I started having this overwhelming feeling that it's got bigger without me realising, not massively bigger. My partner still says she can't feel anything and says it is just my mind trying to fixate on something.

A part of me wants to go to the docs to get it checked out but another part of me is telling me to start thinking rationally and to get on and enjoy my life.

I just feel so confused with it all, I will feel I have let myself down if I go running off to the docs and he says it's all fine but at the same time I am scared if I dint go it might lead to something bad.

How do I get over this hurdle?

[saab]

This is how recovery goes. It's a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. This is just a bump in the road. People recovering from physical illness will always have a spell when they feel worse again - it's just the same with a mental health issue.

Try some cbt techniques like writing down your anxious thought and then writing a rational response to it. I find this helps me sometimes.

[MarkJames3]

Hey,

Thanks for the reply... Yeah I knew it wouldn't be easy, it's just testing my willpower haha.

[Tanner40]

Hey Mark, recovery is a process that takes time and it's not a linear progression. There will always be blips. Even people without anxiety have good days and bad days. As for the node behind your ear, trust your doctor's opinion that it's just that, a node and quite normal. Our minds will try to play tricks on us as we begin to defeat anxiety. Don't feed the fear.