mjh74
05-02-14, 18:01
Hi all,
I've been plagued with anxiety for most of my life but it didn't really cause issues until the last 15 years when I started a new job.
I managed to get myself through some really horrific breakdowns due to one thing or another and over the past 5 years or so, have felt the anxiety has been under control.
In August last year, IT in our NHS trust got taken over by a 3rd party and we were warned of redundancies, everything was changing and I felt ok with this. Unfortunately, on Dec 23rd, I was one of those made redundant after 15 years of service. I didn't feel too bad about things and felt relatively ok about the future. I decided I'd wait for Christmas to pass before looking for work.
Now the time has come, I've got a good CV in order and registered with agencies and I'm now starting to get calls about jobs but the phone calls just feel like threats! I didn't realise how much change distresses me until this past week. I just think back to the past 15 years of building relationships with colleagues and the trust that comes with that and just can't face going through it all over again. At the minute I feel like I want to hide under the quilt and scream at everyone to go away other than my family and friends. What I'd really like to feel is excitement about a new job and meeting people but today, I feel an absolute mile away from that.
Not too sure what to do right now. A company has shown interest in my CV and has called me back today with regards to setting up an interview but I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone!
I'm feeling pretty confused as I love to be out, have no problem speaking to people I don't know and striking up friendships.
I think it's the feeling of pressure at being put on the spot in an interview and if actually getting a post, being in an environment of people that I just don't get along with. I'm very easy going, appear relaxed on the outside and usually tend to get on with most people.
Arghhhh what to do.... :doh:
I've been plagued with anxiety for most of my life but it didn't really cause issues until the last 15 years when I started a new job.
I managed to get myself through some really horrific breakdowns due to one thing or another and over the past 5 years or so, have felt the anxiety has been under control.
In August last year, IT in our NHS trust got taken over by a 3rd party and we were warned of redundancies, everything was changing and I felt ok with this. Unfortunately, on Dec 23rd, I was one of those made redundant after 15 years of service. I didn't feel too bad about things and felt relatively ok about the future. I decided I'd wait for Christmas to pass before looking for work.
Now the time has come, I've got a good CV in order and registered with agencies and I'm now starting to get calls about jobs but the phone calls just feel like threats! I didn't realise how much change distresses me until this past week. I just think back to the past 15 years of building relationships with colleagues and the trust that comes with that and just can't face going through it all over again. At the minute I feel like I want to hide under the quilt and scream at everyone to go away other than my family and friends. What I'd really like to feel is excitement about a new job and meeting people but today, I feel an absolute mile away from that.
Not too sure what to do right now. A company has shown interest in my CV and has called me back today with regards to setting up an interview but I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone!
I'm feeling pretty confused as I love to be out, have no problem speaking to people I don't know and striking up friendships.
I think it's the feeling of pressure at being put on the spot in an interview and if actually getting a post, being in an environment of people that I just don't get along with. I'm very easy going, appear relaxed on the outside and usually tend to get on with most people.
Arghhhh what to do.... :doh: