View Full Version : This feelings are back....
I've dealt with this panic and anxiety before. This past week, after a year of being happy and normal, everything is crumbling down. My big fear is c..... My 13 year old said, Mom I have a little lump on the side of my neck. I felt his neck and this pea size, movable lump was easily felt. I felt that cold chill rushing through my body and I started to shake. Negative thought flooded my mind and have been there all this week. Then I visited Dr. Google. I know......I should not have. Appointment with the doctor tomorrow.. And I am in shambles. I can't shake this terrible anxiety. I am just at the point of throwing up. This is anxiety is not a constant companion. It just comes when something like this happens. I really need tips on how to cope. Please
valleybear
06-02-14, 21:02
It sounds like a harmless lymph node. Even a little enlargement can cause it to be visable. It is very common, and could be because of inflammation in the ear or throat. I am sure that the Dr will put your mind at rest tomorrow. Try to distract yourself for a short period of time initially..5 mins even, concentrating on something else. I have had a horrid day myself with health anxiety about the children, so I so understand how you feel. Sending thoughts and:hugs:
Valletbear, Thank you so much for taking the time to write me. I am trying to keep busy and not think about it. It is so hard when this anxiety concentrates on the children. Isn't it? One part of my brain says, it is nothing to worry about, and when I begin to relax a little, here comes the anxiety bomb. My brain keeps saying "please God, what ever he's got give it to me". Hope you feel better soon and a million thanks again.
valleybear
06-02-14, 23:00
That's no problem, montana2. The children are our lives so it is natural to worry a bit, it is just when health anxiety gets a grip that the worry becomes obsessional. However, lumps along the glands are pretty common, and my own kids had them more than once, so try to get a decent sleep and tomorrow will be a better day.:hugs:
My son also has a lymph node I can feel it's pea sized and movable like your sons. Because children are small and still growing we can sometimes feel their nodes. I've had the doctor check it twice and the nurse checked it they said it's nothing. Don't be so hard in yourself your children are our most precious gifts all parents are over protective and overly worry, even those without anxiety.
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-02-14, 01:45
I actually don't suffer from health anxiety, but I will say that when I think something might be wrong with one of my little monkeys- I can move into irrational, catastrophic, thinking very quickly.
If you haven't done some good CBT therapy I would check into it. Really is helpful in getting ahold of our thinking patterns.
Dear Ladies, You have given me water when dying of thirst. Your knowledge and Your comments about your own experiences are helping so much. I had no idea that this things are common. I googled and first thing I read was horror. That is what I was concentrating on. Thank you!!
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-02-14, 02:55
And, Montana, to add to my above post…..when my baby brother was about 13 years old my mom discovered he had small, moveable lumps ALL OVER the back and sides of his neck…..she freaked out and then immediately we all freaked out. She was convinced (and scared the rest of us out of our minds) that he had one of the "unthinkables."….Nope. Perfectly fine. In fact, he ended up being a professional dancer and is probably the most fit, in shape, healthy person I know. :)
Toomuchtolivefor, Thank you so much for sharing that. You have no idea how much all this replies help me! You are an Angel.
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-02-14, 03:40
More than my pleasure!
Tomorrow you will be back here sharing that the doctor wasn't worried at all. :)
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-02-14, 21:56
Hey Montana,
How did the doc appt go?
It could also be a lipoma which is harmless .
Hello, my anxiety is so up there I asked my husband to take him. They are on their way home. My husband said it us fine and doctor left it up to us to run test. My son said he had his blood drawn..... Other than that that is all I know.
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-02-14, 23:53
Aw, Mama, I feel so bad for you. I have a hard time being rational and calm when it comes to my family too.
But, CONGRATULATIONS! Your husband said it was fine…..meaning the doctor said it was fine, right? There you go! If the doctor thought it was ANYTHING he would not have "left it up to you" to run the test- that is for sure.
I want to encourage you to try to get ahold of your anxiety- for your son's sake. If he sees you scared, he is going to be scared…., and the truth is- the doctor is not worried. If you continue to worry you are going to plant that seed of doubt in your son's mind…. and the only thing worse than having anxiety as a momma- is seeing it affect your children. I think about this quite a bit.
Do you know how to do some breathing exercises? Do you pray?….If so, ask God for that "peace that passeth understanding."
Post away here…..and cling to every rational thought you can muster, because "the truth will set you free!"
XXXXX!!!!
Thank you toomuch, so I got the whole story, this is the same lump they saw back in November when we took him in for a really bad virus or something. Doctor thought it was due to infection then. The size is 1mm. Doctor says 1mm and under he would not do anything, but since is right there he left it up to choose to have a Ct scan. His best guess is just a swollen node. So my husband did set that scan appmt for Monday. For my peace of mind. I guess that he left it up to us to choose to have this test is good for my anxiety. I do try to act normal for my baby. Thank you so much. Please pray for my sweet boy. Thank you Toomuchtolivefor.
TooMuchToLiveFor
08-02-14, 01:18
I will pray for him, Montana. I am actually starting to really pray over my community here, and I will add him to the list.
The swollen node sounds exactly like what it is. Makes total sense. I am sure that since your husband probably shared with your doctor you are anxious about this, it just made the most sense to offer the scan for YOUR peace of mind. I know you will continue to be nervous while you wait, but, truly, you will soon be here posting to others to encourage them not to worry when fears like this take grip.
I know you try to act normal for your baby. We all do. :hugs: And, sometimes being strong for them is all we feel we have to draw on-- but they are so worth it!
Deep breaths, and cling to your rational thoughts and prayers for peace. Your sweet boy is fine. :bighug1:
Ups, sorry Toomuch the size is 1 cm.
---------- Post added at 19:06 ---------- Previous post was at 17:18 ----------
Toomuchtolivefor, you have no idea how well received your words of encouragement are. Monday is his ct scan. It's going to be a long weekend! Thank you so much for praying for everyone. There surely are Angels among us!
I'm praying for you too because I know how hard the waiting is. Toomuch is right there is no way the doctor would have left it up to you if it was serious!
TooMuchToLiveFor
08-02-14, 03:32
It is truly my pleasure…..one of the best things that has come from me having to go through this journey is being able to encourage others along the way. Truly the support I have received here has been one of the biggest helps in my ongoing recovery.
One last thing-- every time your mind goes to this situation-- instead of taking the storyline down the path of something negative….stop yourself and write the story exactly how you want to see it turn out. Picture the doctor giving you the results that are perfectly normal, feel how relieved you will be, picture the smile on your face, and how you will feel looking back on how freaked out you were- wishing you could have saved yourself all the needless torment…….because that is the story that is going to happen. Dwell on that. Every single time your mind tries to lead you elsewhere- stop it and steer your thoughts the right direction. You are in control of them. Just keep remembering the fact that if the doctor was worried AT ALL he wouldn't have let you decide whether or not to go for the CT scan. :)
Rose and Toomuch, I will keep reading your sweet comments of hope through out this weekend. You two are amazing and your words are a tremendous help for me at this time. Right now i am looking at my darling boy play with his friend. They went out in the snow sledding a few hours ago before it got dark. Are our children not the most precious gift of love From God? Thank you.
TooMuchToLiveFor
08-02-14, 04:28
That they are, Montana.
It sounds so flowery, but, truthfully, I see my two little ones in the faces of all children it seems now. They are all so precious, and they all deserve to be loved and treasured.
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-02-14, 19:35
Hey, Montana,
Today is your son's scan, right?
I don't know if you'll get any results today, but wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, and I am praying for your son.
I know you are probably tied in knots today, but please try to remember the rational truth and cling to it--- the doctor (who is the one to trust in this situation) isn't worried or he wouldn't have left the scan up to you and your husband. Your son is fine. :)
Please check in and let me know how it went when you can.
Thank you too much, yes. I am in knots now. His appointment is today at 5. I can barely function. But the thought of the doctor not being worried is what is keeping me afloat. Thank you so much and will let you know the results.
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-02-14, 21:17
Another thought-- your posts have led me to believe that you are a woman who believes in a loving God and power of prayer……may I encourage you with this verse?
He (God) will keep her in perfect peace whose MIND IS STAYED ON THEE, BECAUSE SHE TRUSTS THEE. --Isaiah 26:3
:hugs:
TooMuchToLiveFor
11-02-14, 01:28
Hey, Montana- any word?
TooMuchToLiveFor
11-02-14, 17:16
Hey, Montana,
Just checking in again to see how your son's scan went…..hope you are doing okay!
TooMuchToLiveFor
14-02-14, 23:58
Hey Montana! :)
Just checking in to see if you've gotten your son's scan results yet…….
Not yet TooMuch. On pins and needles! Only blood work is back normal CBC.
TooMuchToLiveFor
15-02-14, 02:01
The blood work being great is wonderful…. and expected. :)
Have they told you when to expect the results?
Update. Doctor called today to tell us the Ct scan results are in. Doctor talked with an ENT and he suggested a round of antibiotics to see if it goes down in size. Follow up for blood draw. Then we will go to see if a biopsy is prudent.
As you can all imagine I am in full panic and anxiety mode. Always thinking the worst. This antibiotic is liquid and 10 day round. Any reassurances will most welcome!
GlassPinata
19-02-14, 01:19
Oh, Montana. :( I would be scared too.
The best thing I can tell you is, I believe it will turn out to be nothing serious, and just think how relieved you will be to finally put it behind you.
These things are terribly frightening, but they just make us appreciate our children all the more.
The fact that his blood work was normal and he has a normal energy level point to it being nothing serious.
I know it is a long shot, but do you have a cat? My son was scratched by a cat one time and got cat scratch fever (not sure of the medical name for it; you could Google it), and the only symptom was a persistent swollen lymph node. Don't be afraid to Google it, it's not anything too scary. It's just a virus that some cats carry, which can infect humans. But humans always get well, it is not serious.
Other than that, I don't know why it would be like that, but I've had a lump in my thigh for years (around one cm) and the doctor says it's likely an enlarged lymph node.
I asked him if it would stay enlarged for such a long time even though I'm not sick and have no infections, and he said it is perfectly possible. He did not want to biopsy it, and says it isn't dangerous. Maybe sometimes these nodes just get swollen and stay that way, and it doesn't mean anything.
Anyway, I know if it was my son, I'd be scared, but I truly believe you'll have good news soon. Hugs.
Thank you so much Glasspinata, I know you suffer with the same anxiety with your little one. It is terrible, isn't it? We do have cats, 3 of them, and we do get scratches once in a while. Maybe a cat scratch is possible, also this past November he had a terrible cold with a really high temp, maybe it is residual from that.
Thank you again for your reassuring words. It helps so much!
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