would like to ask suffers of over 20yrs a question

[trish1955]

I posted a thread yesterday its on therapy CBT one it was saying when I had CBT two yes ago the therapist said what is it yr scared of if you let it all go the panic the anxiety and agoraphobia I said I don't no was not sure what she really meant by this any way a few days ago I thought what I would be like if I didn't have these problems rember mine began at 12yrs old now58 it as lifted a few times I don't mean gone its never gone always remained anxious and had panicky feelings I tried to imaging what I would be like with out it and I can't as I don't no how to feel different I tried to see myself getting dressed and going out feeling what relaxed lol not done that for so long not sure how it feels then I thought am I so stuck in my own head I will never no how to feel sorry if this sounds a bit mixed up but just thought maybe others have had it for yys could give me some kind of answer thankyou take care x

[asus15]

I first got anxiety issues when i was 8... I'm 27 now and i can relate to what your saying. I don't have a clue what sort of person i really am as i am shaped, controlled and ruled by anxiety.

Actions i take are mainly avoidance of anxiety, going out doesn't happen as its overwhelming. looking back I've been through alot of crap... and looking at the here and now It does upset me abit as i know it's shaped my life and I'm not really 100% me.

Not knowing who i really could of been... really wierd thought...

[trish1955]

I can relate to all that like I think what sort of person would I be its like wen my kids say mum can you have grandkids or can you do me a loud of washing ironing anything they ask I say yes when sometimes I want to say no I think its cusI feel guilty for the way I am and was wen they were growing up to never went out hardley with then they say it didn't matter they new I was always home cooking there dinner keeping a nice home but carry guilt for a lot of things I couldn't do so that's why I never say no I am not even relaxed at home are you x

[Rennie1989]

I've always been an anxious person, even as a young child, but I got my first panic attack at 13 and first depressive episode at 14. I'm now 24. I didn't start any form of treatment until I was 17/18 because I had very little understanding of what was wrong with me because parents refused to get me help. I've tried so many things and am still learning to cope with the anxiety.

[asus15]

I didn't start any form of treatment until I was 17/18 because I had very little understanding of what was wrong with me because parents refused to get me help. I've tried so many things and am still learning to cope with the anxiety.

Same here I started threatment (medication) in 2011 and I'm only just about to start actual therapy.

When i was growing up the only thing my parents noticed was that i kept complaining about my heart beating fast. They took me to the dr's and he said for them to buy me a dog which they did and that was the end of that. I started hiding away instead of saying anything. I had no idea why either... It took me till 2006 to work out I actually had something wrong due to severe panic attacks.

[trish1955]

Same here when I was 12 I kept saying my heart was missing a beat I would panic and cry then I would feel like was going to die which made me have the fear of during all my life I have had that its kinda stopped me living wen mine began it was 60s never heard of panic and anxiety back then so was left for yes without any help got first bit of support in 1994 I was forty then it was for six weeks it did nothing always been afraid of meds had a councilor bk in2004 for a yr she was good but then she had to leave and u was left with nothing and some bad things happened with my family 2005 I needs support got nothing till 2011 CBT it didn't work it was 8wks course last week my life was under so much stress again with family probes decided to try meds scared of side effects but trying to hang in with it so you see why I don't no how I would be without anxiety and panic xx

---------- Post added at 11:45 ---------- Previous post was at 11:42 ----------

Sorry suppose to have put fear of during not during its just we just had a shock phone call my hubby younger brother been found dead x

[WhyWhyWhy]

Oh god trish. Very sorry to hear that xxx

[trish1955]

Omg done it again fear of dyeing