shopping and being in public often flusters me

[danniboi]

hello, basically for a few years now ive been getting very isolated and not going out with friends so much due to just feeling pretty crappy because of this anxiety getting on top of me.
if im in stores shopping or anything like that i blush when getting served in a shop, bumping into a friend, sort of fear being around people at the moment as i feel they can see me blush as it happens so often for no reason that i know of just feel panicky and strange, then my face boils up its like wtf and then i end up stressing myself out about it.

But if i exercise or go running im awake and can sort of deal with this as it makes me feel good.

Going gym, running any form of exercise really does help but if im sitting around all day doing nothing i dont wanna go out, i get anxious of the thought of going to the shops.
i think i have some fear of blushing in front of my friends and loking a right **** as i never used to be like this, also my mates are fairly cool popular people, which i once really was, i feel like im turning into this loser with no friends.
Makes me angry at myself everytime i get this feeling im like grrrr what is wrong with me as i cannot control this.

im not the sort of person to piss off either as i think ive got more of a anger problem that i already had now this is making me worse. any ideas or anyone else feel sort of like this?
would like some advice from anybody experiencing anything similar thanks :-)

[vaughanp99]

I would say that you are possibly developing some sort of anxiety problem. Personally, I think that negative automatic thoughts are starting to cloud the way you think about the world and would recommend CBT but would certainly go and see your GP.

[Jenwales]

The way to get over it is to just get out there and do it. set yoursef goals e.g. meeting a friend in a cafe or something
start small and work towards a big goal
workout a plan to acheive each goal and when doing the thing focus on your breathing
the more you let your thoughts and anxiety govern you and don't just carry on the less likely you are to get on with your life wihout this issue

[messenoughclean]

This sounds similar to what I have issues with - my main worry I think is being sick/fainting etc while I'm out in public and causing a scene. I'm not sure why this bothers me as it's never actually happened, but the thought is constantly there in my head.

I do better when I'm out on my own and I try to get out as often as I can - being on my own means I know I can bolt if I need to and go and hide in the loo or in my car if I start feeling any symptoms, this rarely happens though as knowing I can escape means I don't normally get the symptoms in the first place.

Being out with other people or being somewhere I can't immediately get out of if I need to (even something simple like waiting at a till in a supermarket) starts the worry off and of course worrying about the symptoms brings on the symptoms.

At the moment I've been cancelling all my plans with friends due to this but I'm starting to challenge myself to do things (on my own) that I will eventually start re-doing with friends (going to shopping centre, going to the cinema etc). I had a similar thing when I was 15 (29 now) which went away after I continually faced the situations that made me feel sick. School was a big one at that time and didn't have a choice about going so just had to get on with it. Bit of a bulldozer approach back then I have to say but it did work!

[danniboi]

Hello all, thanks for the replys very much appreciate them :-).
I think all this is due to my years off pot use when I was younger, 10 years straight smoking everyday well bar 2 years quitting for a girl I fell in love with, who now hates me, lol. but plenty more girls out there even thought I probably mest up the best thing I had in my life so far and lost her...... Anyway back to this I've found gym and exercise always help me so I'm now looking good and feeling better.
I also think the answers were you say the more you don't just ignore this and get on the more it will still be in my life (this worrying anxious paranoid feeling).

I have a gym plan and q daily routine I'm following with a strict gym diet which contains alot of meat as I want the body I was once training for before all this and pot, before that put it all on hold for about 5 years, smoking weed were my life go lol, weed is not a good drug just a demotivating lazy ass drug, I don't even smoke so why I started weed so young I don't know.

Anyway I feel the way I felt and sometimes still feel is because of the rubbish I used to eat (very unhealthy munchies food alot), the amount off weed I used to smoke and the general laziness I was.
As most say you are only what you feed and use your own body is how you react mentally and physically.
Thanks again, do you think I may have a thyroid problem or testosteron because I'm still always bloody hot and flush n blush alot for a young male.pissed me off more than anything lol.

[I'mdave27]

I'm like that I will be fine if I get up early and go out straight away but if I sit in the house all day I just can't do it , I hate it. I think people are judging me talking to each other about me but the most hurtful thing is I feel people always think I'm upto no good and I think/feel no one likes me , no idea why. It's strange because sometimes I can be very confident but sometimes I just get those feelings it really gets me down as I get into an emotional state over it and I'm also a friendly person , softy really. I've always felt like I've never fit in anywhere or belong anywhere

[Ryan92]

Hi, Im like this too. When I last had CBT one of the targets my therapist set for me was to go and ask a shop assistant for something and another time was to go and have a look around a shop. A few months ago I caught the bus to and from my local tesco and I was incredibly anxious :doh:

I woke up one morning and felt a rare surge of confidence and went out and bought a gift card from tesco. I was so nervous I wasn't concentrating on certain things, I lost my return ticket because I was rushing to get back home asap :doh: so I had to pay for another bus ticket to get home :wacko:

I get most anxious about worries that if I go out to a busy place I might see people who bullied me when I was at school and worry people are looking at me funny as if Im not normal or I look weird or Im acting strange.

I know how it feels to be mad at yourself, after I realised I lost my return ticket I was sooooo angry with myself. I felt guilty too because the bus fare was given to me by a family member and I felt I wasted their money, it was an accident but I still felt angry. I was thinking 'For gods sake I cant even keep hold of a bus ticket, Im useless'.

If you haven't already, maybe you could go and have a chat with your doctor about your anxiety and they may suggest CBT :)

Hopefully you wont feel so annoyed because you're not the only one :)

[I'mdave27]

You asked a shop assistant to help you ? Are you mad ? I hate when they approach me not because of my anxiety but because it's annoying lol

[Ryan92]

You asked a shop assistant to help you ? Are you mad ? I hate when they approach me not because of my anxiety but because it's annoying lol

Hi Dave, it was part of my cbt. I didn't want to do it but my therapist wanted me to and yeah I also don't like it when shop assistants approach me, its kind of annoying :sign20:

[danniboi]

Yea maybe i will, i seem to have good and bad days to be honest, lately i have felt ok, but it always comes bk, like i said i hate bumping into people i know that i havent seen in a long time that makes me nervous too i think my old friends will be like were u been, i sort of cut them all off as they are pot heads and dont want to be dragged down by them.
Anyway back to it yes im the same so annoying if i want something ill ask, leave me be lol
But i do go into shops and sometimes ask because i cant be arsed to hunt untill i find it lol
Ive looked up on cbt and changing the way i think and stuff but atm im just hitting gym and trying to keep busy and occupied :-)
I know what u mean Dave best to keep active and feeling good sitting in for a long time i dont wanna do shit then n feel depressed ive sat in doing nothing but watch telly n crap.
Our mission minds are strange things and wish i could control mine lol but sometimes i cant and flusters the shit outta me or get stupidly nervous for no reason and blush n get irratable in certain situations.
Definitely feel better knowing its not just me.
Thanks people and hope you guys feel better yoo :-).

[aprilmoon]

You asked a shop assistant to help you ? Are you mad ? I hate when they approach me not because of my anxiety but because it's annoying lol

I hate that as well Dave,drives me nuts!:)