LondonNewbie
09-02-14, 04:47
Before anyone reads on: I apologise for the full-length explanations. I've got a habit of not being able to cut out any details. If it's too much for you to read, then I apologise!
As I posted in my introductory thread, I'm currently a member of the London community. I live in West London and work in West/Central London.
To share my first problem, I get extremely anxious at home about living with other people.
When I first moved away to University, I found living with other people fine for the first year. Second year, I started living with some of my course-mates. I had to put up with someone smoking weed in the house for the first 5-6 months, which wasn't very nice. When he got kicked out, there was another dispute going on between another two of the house-mates.
Both of these incidents I did my best to avoid if I could but it didn't affect my routine that much. One of the guys I lived with didn't care much for the goings on and would get me out of the room and the house more often than not which kept me going, as well as having my girlfriend round every couple of weeks who helped me massively.
Third year, I moved back home to a University nearby but decided I still wanted to live in accommodation rather than living at home. The accommodation was expensive but pretty good, en-suite rooms for everyone which allowed me to do the majority of my routine in my room. The problem I faced here is that I wanted to spend all of my time doing work (and when I wasn't doing work, I liked to relax on my own too) which my flatmates didn't agree with. So much so that they would talk about me behind my back, would chuckle to themselves about me when I entered the Kitchen to cook something and eventually that lead to me not wanting to go in there. I ended up just eating ready-made food by ordering takeaways or going to the nearest Greggs. Anything that allowed me to eat without visiting the kitchen.
It got so bad in that flat that I had to move into another flat in the building. But even though the flat I moved into was pretty much empty, I still suffered the same problem. The anxiety I got about entering the communal areas came with me and so unless my girlfriend was around to help out by cooking our food, I still would not cook anything.
So now this year I got a placement in London, working for very little income to begin with. I deal with it because the experience is what I'm here for. But I suffer at home because the anxiety I gained in my third year flat has came with me once more. I live in a house with 4 other people, 1 of whom I've not even met and I do not leave my room at all if I can avoid it. I stick to paying stupid amounts of money for ready-made, unhealthy food just so I'm not starving myself and I've put on about 2-3 stone whilst I've been doing this. I've lived in this house for 4 months and I've never cooked anything.
But it gets worse than just eating. Last year, I had an en-suite bathroom. I could shower and go to the toilet in my own time, never had to worry about bumping into other people. Now there's a short 10 second journey from my room to the bathroom upstairs in the house and I can't deal with it. Most times, I just won't go. I've tried to hold certain things in until I can reach the loo at work the next day. I'm that anxious, I'd prefer to urinate into a plastic bottle and dispose of it later than just make that 10 second journey and risk bumping into someone on the way.
I can't live like this but I feel like I can't avoid it. Moving places in London feels like such a hassle as everything goes so quickly that people want tenants within a few days of putting up a property. But how can I do that so it coincides with a month's notice period? I can't chance handing in my notice to the landlady here without having somewhere lined up, but I can't line somewhere up without being able to move in straight away.
And the other thing is with London is that it is so expensive to live alone. I can't afford it. But if I can't, I then have to live with other people. If I'm still living with other people, what's going to stop my anxiety? And even if I miraculously found somewhere to live on my own, I'm then no longer facing my issues, just running away from them and that doesn't seem like the right thing to do.
Has anyone else ever been in a situation that bad where you live that you don't want to leave your room for anything, no matter how routine the thing should be? And even if you haven't, is there anything you would recommend I do as a starter? I've never talked to a Doctor about anxiety, only depression. What tends to be standard procedure in terms of anxiety and overcoming it?
I recognise this is a lot to take in so specific advice tailored to the cause may be hard to give but I'd appreciate absolutely any advice right now.
As I posted in my introductory thread, I'm currently a member of the London community. I live in West London and work in West/Central London.
To share my first problem, I get extremely anxious at home about living with other people.
When I first moved away to University, I found living with other people fine for the first year. Second year, I started living with some of my course-mates. I had to put up with someone smoking weed in the house for the first 5-6 months, which wasn't very nice. When he got kicked out, there was another dispute going on between another two of the house-mates.
Both of these incidents I did my best to avoid if I could but it didn't affect my routine that much. One of the guys I lived with didn't care much for the goings on and would get me out of the room and the house more often than not which kept me going, as well as having my girlfriend round every couple of weeks who helped me massively.
Third year, I moved back home to a University nearby but decided I still wanted to live in accommodation rather than living at home. The accommodation was expensive but pretty good, en-suite rooms for everyone which allowed me to do the majority of my routine in my room. The problem I faced here is that I wanted to spend all of my time doing work (and when I wasn't doing work, I liked to relax on my own too) which my flatmates didn't agree with. So much so that they would talk about me behind my back, would chuckle to themselves about me when I entered the Kitchen to cook something and eventually that lead to me not wanting to go in there. I ended up just eating ready-made food by ordering takeaways or going to the nearest Greggs. Anything that allowed me to eat without visiting the kitchen.
It got so bad in that flat that I had to move into another flat in the building. But even though the flat I moved into was pretty much empty, I still suffered the same problem. The anxiety I got about entering the communal areas came with me and so unless my girlfriend was around to help out by cooking our food, I still would not cook anything.
So now this year I got a placement in London, working for very little income to begin with. I deal with it because the experience is what I'm here for. But I suffer at home because the anxiety I gained in my third year flat has came with me once more. I live in a house with 4 other people, 1 of whom I've not even met and I do not leave my room at all if I can avoid it. I stick to paying stupid amounts of money for ready-made, unhealthy food just so I'm not starving myself and I've put on about 2-3 stone whilst I've been doing this. I've lived in this house for 4 months and I've never cooked anything.
But it gets worse than just eating. Last year, I had an en-suite bathroom. I could shower and go to the toilet in my own time, never had to worry about bumping into other people. Now there's a short 10 second journey from my room to the bathroom upstairs in the house and I can't deal with it. Most times, I just won't go. I've tried to hold certain things in until I can reach the loo at work the next day. I'm that anxious, I'd prefer to urinate into a plastic bottle and dispose of it later than just make that 10 second journey and risk bumping into someone on the way.
I can't live like this but I feel like I can't avoid it. Moving places in London feels like such a hassle as everything goes so quickly that people want tenants within a few days of putting up a property. But how can I do that so it coincides with a month's notice period? I can't chance handing in my notice to the landlady here without having somewhere lined up, but I can't line somewhere up without being able to move in straight away.
And the other thing is with London is that it is so expensive to live alone. I can't afford it. But if I can't, I then have to live with other people. If I'm still living with other people, what's going to stop my anxiety? And even if I miraculously found somewhere to live on my own, I'm then no longer facing my issues, just running away from them and that doesn't seem like the right thing to do.
Has anyone else ever been in a situation that bad where you live that you don't want to leave your room for anything, no matter how routine the thing should be? And even if you haven't, is there anything you would recommend I do as a starter? I've never talked to a Doctor about anxiety, only depression. What tends to be standard procedure in terms of anxiety and overcoming it?
I recognise this is a lot to take in so specific advice tailored to the cause may be hard to give but I'd appreciate absolutely any advice right now.