View Full Version : Tell me what to do
I feel like this last week since I've started a new job I've completely lost my mind. I honestly don't think I'm fit to work. I've not been eating or sleeping all I've done is cry.
but heres the problem. If I quit my job my health will Improve. I will sleep, I will eat, I will stop crying all day and night. BUT my mum will kick me out as I won't be able to pay her rent. I won't be able to claim job seekers allowance as when you quit a job they don't let you.
I think I need a 16hour job in a relaxed safe environment. Not the job I've got which is 3 12 hours shifts a week in a care home.
I don't know what to do. I really can't go on working there it's destroying me. But if I quit I lose my home, my family will lose all respect for me and my partner will be dissapointed in me.
I've tried to talk to and explain to my family how I'm feeling and they tell me to stop being silly and deal with it. They say it will get better but everyday it's getting worse. Please someone tell me what I should do. Part of my wants to go to the train station and just run away and never come back.
please someone just help me
Sounds from what you're saying is that your job is the problem and if I'm being honest, I really don't like the fact that you mention about working in a safe environment.
Can I assume that the environment you are working in is not a safe one? If it is not, you need to tell your employer right now to resolve this and if they don't take you seriously, take it even further.
However if you're not happy in your job, you should quit. No job is worth that, but the stumbling block obviously is the rent. I also think your family are negligent. Speak to your GP or a trusted compatriot and explain your situation. Doesn't say much for your mum either if she is so willing to kick you out, either.
You most CERTAINLY need to sleep AND eat otherwise this will do you no good and you may need to speak to your doctor - perhaps they will be able to sign you off for a specific amount of time. If you're getting paid, how can your mum kick you out? That'd be harsh. In fact, I think your GP might be your best port of call. Maybe talk to your union (if you are a member and I strongly recommend you do become one if you are not) if the problems are work related. From what you say, I assume the problems are.
Also, why should your family lose respect for you or your partner? They should show their support. You made a conscious choice to leave because you were unhappy. I'd be saying they don't show you respect because they know they're allowing you, if you want, to work in an environment where you are not happy, which shows a lack of respect for you. How can you also honestly call 3 and a half hours shift a job, anyway? Its not really. I wouldn't even go as far as to call it part time.
I know what you mean - they don't want to accept that things aren't good. I myself am having issues at the moment and have considered getting on that train, too.
All I can say to you is, do what you think is right, but I would strongly suggest
a) become a T.U. member
b) definitely see your doctor - if they sign you off, you still get paid - result (your mum can't do anything then). In that time, especially if its a lengthy doctor's note, you could put that to good effect and try and find other employment.
c) speak to your employer to try to come to some type of resolution - what is it about your job that is not making it a safe environment? I would be very concerned from a neutral point of view reading this.
d) The lack of respect from your family and possibly your partner shows that they have little respect for the choices you make. You need to make the choices that are right for you. You have done nothing wrong so how can they lose respect for you?
Good luck in this and I do believe things will get better as long as you make the choices that are right for you - don't worry about what others think, especially in the light you've done nothing wrong. That's just silly.
Positive thoughts
Regards
working 12 hour shifts makes it hard to see my GP but I'm making it a priority because I've never felt this all over the place. I'm 21 so I really need to support of my family but they just don't understand. They are just frustrated with me. I know quitting will disappoint them but maybe I need to think about whats best for me. I can't force myself to be unhappy for the sake of others.
my job is stressful and I've been asked to do things I don't feel I'm ready to do. I'm still training and don't really think I should be doing these things. I don't want to make a mistake and cause someone to get hurt I work with elderly people and don't want to be doing things until I've had the proper training.
I heard the staff and manager talking about me in the office. The think I can't cope and want me out the door. I was reading through some stuff the other day and they can lay me off if they don't think I'm coping because I'm still in the probabtion period.
Rennie1989
09-02-14, 17:05
I suggest cutting down on the hours or only do shorter shifts. Leaving work will not benefit you in the long run, a week is too early to give up now.
Think about what it is you would need to help you do the job and ask
Your manager has recruited you because they believe you can do the job. You are entirely right to not want to be in charge of others until you are trained and ready, indeed it may well be illegal with vulnerable people.
Have you been up front about medical issues? If so they may need to show that they have actively supported you into the role before they can do anything, legal protections trump contractual stuff.
I feel like this last week since I've started a new job I've completely lost my mind. I honestly don't think I'm fit to work. I've not been eating or sleeping all I've done is cry.
but heres the problem. If I quit my job my health will Improve. I will sleep, I will eat, I will stop crying all day and night. BUT my mum will kick me out as I won't be able to pay her rent. I won't be able to claim job seekers allowance as when you quit a job they don't let you.
I think I need a 16hour job in a relaxed safe environment. Not the job I've got which is 3 12 hours shifts a week in a care home.
I don't know what to do. I really can't go on working there it's destroying me. But if I quit I lose my home, my family will lose all respect for me and my partner will be dissapointed in me.
I've tried to talk to and explain to my family how I'm feeling and they tell me to stop being silly and deal with it. They say it will get better but everyday it's getting worse. Please someone tell me what I should do. Part of my wants to go to the train station and just run away and never come back.
please someone just help me
Aww sending you big hugs. :hugs:
I sort of know how you feel. I'm in my early twenties and I need the support of my parents or I would otherwise be homeless. I'll give you a bit of background to my situation. I left university and moved back home with my parents which resulted me in having to get a job so I could support myself and obviously pay some rent. Now I have anxiety which I've managed to control to an extent over the years however the thought of getting a job terrified the hell out of me. Even the thought of going to interviews scared me. It got to a point where I was'nt sleeping and was crying most of the day. I then began to slip into a little bit of depression until my parents forced me to go to my GP. I was put of medication which helped. I eventually managed to get a job although I will admit the first few weeks were tough but I had to force myself because I didn't want to be at home all the time feeling sorry for myself and having no money.
I've been in my current job which is full time for seven months and I can actually say with the medication and forcing myself to do things I'm in a much better place. First of all the care home wouldn't of given you the job if they didn't think you can handle it. 12 hour shifts are going to be tough at first and you only started the job last week. Once you've been there a few weeks you will get into a routine and your sleeping pattens should improve.
Starting a job is tough but you may just need to give it time to adjust. If you decide to stay at your job maybe have a word the manager and say you're struggling. Maybe the two of you could come up with an agreement where you both agree that the job is not for you and that they then decide to let you go. You should then be able to go on JSA because it would be your employer that has let you go on your probation period as opposed to you simply quitting. On the other hand If the job is making you really ill then I'm not certain it's worth staying. Unfortunately I can't tell you what to do regarding whether to quit your job. That's a decision you have to make.
I think the first thing you need to do is to get a GP appointment ASAP. I too was having problems getting an appointment and ending up having to make an emergency one just so I could see my GP. Your GP may sign you off and will be able to give you some good advice. Try and force yourself to eat and go to bed at the same time every night so you can try and get into a routine. Try and keep yourself healthy. It's a tough horrible situation and you may feel like there's no hope but trust me it will get better. I've been in that situation where you feel like the job is destroying you slowly. I know what it's like so I really do feel for you. If you need to talk let me know. :)
All the best. :hugs:
I think its brave of you to try to jump straight in to this nursing home job. But I think a job like this should be where you end up and not where you build your confidence.
I think you should jump into another job straight away. One that isn't as stressful and will allow you to build up your confidence.
So many staff and residents in nursing homes. It's not a place you can hide.
Why not try homecare ? Just you and the person you're there to help.
No talking behind you're back, a lot less people about, different places of work instead of having to do three big twelve hour shifts in the same uncomfortable environment.
If not home care something a little less stressful on you.
I've been thinking about it all day. I'm a mess because I've hardly slept or eaten for a week I feel awful. I'm lightheaded and exhausted. I've forced some dinner down today but I can't care for others in this state. I can barely concentrate on making a cup of tea. I think I went all or nothing with this job and its just been to much. I need to have a job that builds my confidence not a job that makes me anxious to this point.
I feel so let down and disappointment in myself but I just can't cope with this feeling.
I think it would be best for me to go and see my GP and when it comes to working ease myself into it by starting part time and gradually build my hours up to a full time contract.
I hate to give up and take the easy way out but the way I've been behaving just isn't right.
I just have to brace myself for the way my family and partner are going to respond. Nothing could make me feel as bad as I do right now. I hate how anxiety controls my life.
Do you feel like you have taken on too much? I know I wouldn't cope with 3x 12 hour shifts at the moment.
Can you drop a shift? Is this an option? Would you feel better if you only had 2 shifts to get though?
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