Help

[monty190]

Hi all,

I don’t quite know where to start, but I have never been to scared, terrified or helpless than I have over the last 5 days. I’m hoping people can offer me advice and guidance, as currently I have no idea what is happening to me or how to make it go away.

Over the past 6 months, I’ve been ill with Labyrinthitis, an inner ear issue, which came to a head on Tuesday. Aswell as the balance issues, I’ve had weak legs for months and I had convinced myself that I had MS and was whipped into a frenzy, my mind was racing and nothing could calm me down. Then on Wednesday, I found out that I would be losing my job (all contracts wouldn’t be extended) and therefore I would also have to leave my flat, the tenancy comes to an end in March.

Since then (5 days ago), I’ve moved in with my parents again as I literally cannot cope, I’ve had panic attacks, overcome with anxiety, whipped into a frenzy, considered suicide, wanted to be sectioned and haven’t slept since. I don’t know what to do.

I saw my Dr on Thurs, reassured me that I didn’t have MS, but prescribed me diazepam to help me sleep. He also made me refer to a charity that assists with having a ‘healthy mind’, however this interview/assessment won’t happen until 17th Feb. I need help now. I don’t know what’s happening to me.

I’ve started having horrendous, perverted thoughts, REALLY nasty, what I can’t even type on here. I’m the most caring, nurturing person ever, yet I’m so angry and want to hurt someone (this comes in waves). The thoughts are the worst, I don’t know how or why I’m thinking them.

Now I’m convinced I have a serious mental illness and I won’t be the same person again. In the last 6 months, I’ve also met my girlfriend who is absolutely fantastic, I’m so terrified I’m going to lose her.

I’ve been feeling like this for coming up to a week now and I don’t know what is wrong or where to turn. I feel so alone and I’m terrified of what I might do.

This is a massive meltdown and my mind is racing, I don’t know what to think or what to do.

I’ve been running, learning meditation, looking at CBT videos on YouTube, which have helped since the original bout, but I still get long periods of worry, panic and I’m terrified.

I don’t know what to do. Please someone help or reassure me as I don’t what to do. I just want to be the person that I was not long ago.

I don’t know how to make this go away.

[LunaLiuna]

Monty I'm sorry to hear your going through such a hard time.

Firstly, regarding the physical symptoms I can only say you MUST trust your doctor, I'm sure they would know when something was wrong.

Those thoughts your having are called intrusive thoughts. Everyone gets them, even people without anxiety. This may sound incredibly hard, and trust me it will at first as I've had these thoughts also. But you have to accept them, the more you feed them the worse they become.

When one arises just notice it, some people like to let it engulf them. Either way as soon as you don't give them the fear that they crave they cannot get worse, your mind is only doing it because it nows it's got you in it's grasp.

You do not need to be sectioned. If you did, every member on here would have to be senctioned with you.

Don't hide from them, just say hello and they'll say goodbye.

Perhaps seek some medication also :)

[Dexterjames]

You have not got a serious mental illness you just have a rational thinking process like me because your going through a bad patch loosing your job and stuff plays a huge stress on your mind and i will tell you nearly 80% of people that have anxiety think they have ms even i do,Your going through problems like i am and i tell you it is hard really hard but we can break through it and come out of the other side.

[monty190]

What do you do to cope? I'm trying to hard to find an answer, but it's difficult to know where to look? I take it there isn't a guide for this..... I have a wonderful supportive family, but sometimes I feel isolated, this is only day 5 too. I had a manic morning, incredibly stressful/anxious for no apparent reason, this afternoon has been slightly more upbeat. I just hope the upbeat becomes the norm, because the lows are so much lower than the relative relief from it.

[LunaLiuna]

There is a book called "Self help for your nerves" By Claire Weeks I'd definitely reccomend it to you :)

[monty190]

Another question.... do you know why you get anxious, are there particular reasons that you can think of? Mine don't artiste to have a trigger, they just start. I imagine dealing with the panic/anxiety starts by identifying what makes you anxious? At the moment, I don't know what that is.... potentially just the permanent anxious state I'm in.

[Dexterjames]

Another question.... do you know why you get anxious, are there particular reasons that you can think of? Mine don't artiste to have a trigger, they just start. I imagine dealing with the panic/anxiety starts by identifying what makes you anxious? At the moment, I don't know what that is.... potentially just the permanent anxious state I'm in.

You get like it because your body and mind is finding it hard to deal with the problems you have been coping with your illness job-loss and worrying about girlfriend and so on some people find stress harder to deal with and there body and mind cant cope causing you to be anxious and have all these horrible feelings its hard to believe and that's 1 thing i still find hard to do today.
If your worried about anything speak to your GP they will help you get through it as well :)

[monty190]

Another question....

I seem to get very angry/anxious when I start thinking horrendous/vulgar things. I'm dealing with them by not ignoring them, just letting them 'be there' however I get incredibly guilty and angry at myself afterwards for thinking such things. How do I deal with that? This appears to be the thing that is currently triggering my anxiety....

[Dexterjames]

Another question....

I seem to get very angry/anxious when I start thinking horrendous/vulgar things. I'm dealing with them by not ignoring them, just letting them 'be there' however I get incredibly guilty and angry at myself afterwards for thinking such things. How do I deal with that? This appears to be the thing that is currently triggering my anxiety....

Just try and think more positive its hard but you can do it CBT really helps with this as well i am even going to see a psychiatrist to help me with my thinking REMEMBER it does NOT mean your mental helps there for a reason.
And lots of people have this bad thinking its common your just having a hard time at the moment.

[monty190]

Are having these thoughts an anxiety issue or a different disorder, like OCD for example? Or are they not mutually exclusive? I haven't actually had my first meeting with the health care professionals yet, so I haven't received a diagnosis.

You may not know the answer, but I was just wondering.

Essentially, could curing the anxiety get rid of these thoughts, or could it be something like OCD?

[Dexterjames]

Your health care professional GP will give you the exact Answers you want
But i have had lots of horrible thoughts and yes mine where related to my state of anxiety that's when i got mine its very common.

At my doctors we have one doctor that deals with issues such as stress and anxiety every GP has as i am aware ,ring them and ask to speak to that doctor it will give you peace of mind if not i am sure everything will become clear when you see your health adviser :)