Today I am mostly dying from.....

[Rara09]

Hello everyone. It's had taken me a lot of courage to finally register, so I hope I have posted in the right place.

I think I have suffered from ha since my first child arrived 11 years ago. I remember going back to the gp time and time again because I couldn't breathe, it was never explained to me but I now realise it was hyperventilation. Now almost everyday of every week I feel I am dying......today and for the past week it has been oesuphegeal cancer!!! My main ha is cancer; I have had them all!! I try to refrain from going to the gp and try to wait for symptoms to go......which are usually just replaced by new ones (my main method of distraction!!!! Lol). Basically I hate it......I have had times when not worrying and it's lovely. My husband thinks I am mad even though I don't tell him half my worries!! I hate the thought if leaving my children and get so upset.

Today I have a tight/lump in throat, but if a tickly cough and lots if swallowing......obviously cancer not globus!!!!! (Jokes). I have recently given up smoking so I think I am focusing on what it can cause. Google is my enemy and best friend!!!! It takes up all my days. I honestly have no idea where this worry comes from as i lead a happy life and no big problems, my family is happ and healthy and we have no money problems, so it must all be subconscious as I don't have anything to stress about. Sorry for the long post, I don't usually say too much to anyone about how I feel, So have surprised even myself.

[cpe1978]

Rara,

Welcome.

I dont think anything you are saying will sound surprising to anyone on this forum. Many of us can describe feelings exactly like you outline.

At this point, you have two options. One is to accept the fact that you have health anxiety and probably seek reassurance for the symptoms you experience, whether that is from your GP, loved ones or online. The other is to tackle the issue which is tackleable, which is again your anxiety.

Unfortunately forums like this become over populated with 'symptom' threads - I have made a few myself in the past. However, if I were you I would hunt out those that are from people that have adopted positive strategies to overcome their fears and anxieties.

Stopping smoking is a good start. I have always struggled to understand why people who have HA carry out activities that are so completely counter intuitive to someone worried about their health. Not get on with eating healthily and exercising and you are giving yourself the best possible chance of a long, happy and healthy life.

Good luck - my only piece of advice is to make sure you focus your efforts in the right areas.

[Rara09]

Cpe1978

Thank you for your reply. I know I specified no particular questions today. It just sort if all tumbled out with no direction. I can see exactly where you are coming from with more positive thoughts and have started cycling and jogging again when I have time. If I listed all my symptoms I would be here all day, so I registered also in the hope I can answer people's questions if I have experinced the same before and have come out the other side absolutely fine.

Thanks again

[Havefaithx]

Hi Rara09

I joined yesterday so we can be newbies together :)

I had my first panic attack and health worries when i had my son I think looking back that is where my health anxiety started, however i managed to overcome it until i had a ectopic pregnancy a couple of years later and was very poorly.

I am exactly like you i always say to my dad if i didn't have my son i think i'd cope so much better as my main worry is leaving him, I also don't tell my partner half of what really goes on inside my head as he really doesn't understand, i do think it is hard to understand HA if u have never had it. Do u have someone you can talk to and be completely open with?

Do you suffer from acid? i get this in my throat and is caused by acid reflux.

I would have a word with your GP and be totally honest with everything your feeling, they are there to help and you will be able to get some help be it counselling or meds.

Hope u feel better soon x

[ohwell123]

hi when I get anxiety I breath really weird aswell, believe it or not this brings on some MORE horrible symptoms, i think one of the worst when your already HA over your heart is acid reflux indigestion stomach probs...

just when I think Ive actually had a good few hours Ive just realised ive had no anxiety for a few hours BANG ill get hit with heartburn lol

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Rara,

There's actually a lot of rationality in your post when you read it from my perspective. You clearly recognize the irrationality of your thought patterns and that's pretty rational if you ask me ;)

I'm a Survivor of oral cancer. Being you've had all the C's you've had that makes you a Survivor too along with 80% of the members....at least in your mind :)

You've come to a good place for support. I think with a few good tips and some CBT you could scare the bejeebers out of the Dragon and put in his cave for good. Congrats on quitting smoking! That's HUGE!

Positive thoughts

[Rara09]

Thank you both for your replies.

Have faith: it's seems our feelings are very similar, I think it's the thought if leaving our little ones if anything happened to us. I don't have anyone to talk to too about it too much ( I am a loud, confident person on the outside), my mum was a worrier so I am conscious not to show this side too much to my children, my husband tries his best but is just not that type if bloke.

Quite frankly I am sick of feeling sorry for myself and need to get on with my life; exercise does seem to help. I do think if I tell the gp then if anything was really wrong they would just put it down to ha and miss it, do I tend to put off appointments. I don't understand how my brain does this ; it's so frustrating.

What are your main ha? I have found this site to be very useful and I always look on here now before general googling!!! Lol

Phew.....hopefully ranting done for today!!

---------- Post added at 12:52 ---------- Previous post was at 12:45 ----------

To fishmanpa - thanks so much!! Your words have really knocked some sense into me!!! So glad you have beaten this terrible disease- you are very brave. That helps me put things in perspective! I have stopped buying papers a d reading too much as I seem to focus on such stories (information overload).

I believe insight into this is logical if only my brain would follow! Lol

Thanks to all.

[Havefaithx]

My partner is exactly the same he's never been very sympathetic or talkative when it comes to problems, I do have my dad to talk to which is a gr8 help.

my main HA today is I hit the back of my head badly on saturday night, went to the hospital and was told i have mild concussion, i am now worrying that i may develop a slow bleed internally, trying to think positively but it's hard.

My main HA are illnesses that can take you away suddenly from your family etc like Heart attacks, pulmonary embolisms, strokes etc, I have managed to start to deal with these problems until i hit my head, but this all revolves around not being able to say goodbye to my son etc, although these illnesses are rare at 25 lol.

What are your main HA worries? x x

[Rara09]

Sorry have faith, just seen your comment.

Sorry about your head, I am sure you will be fine. I had concussion after splitting my eyebrow open in a door when in a rush (day before brothers wedding, so the black eye was lovely for photos!!). I had headaches after and felt exactly the same as you. They eventually went away after I calmed fiwn and realised I had been assessed by a gp so all was fine.

My main problem is drawn out illnesses, mostly cancer which I couldn't bear. I have the last week worried about oesuphegeal cancer after having a lump in my throat (imagination probably), been googling like a demon (very silly!). Feel a bit better tonight so hopefully that's gone!!! Phew

Might look into some cbt as have heard good things about it, will see how it goes.

Please don't worry about your head.

[Havefaithx]

Thanks Hun, I think I have managed to rationalise my thoughts now.

I have had CBT it is very good however you have to truely be ready and want to do it as it's hard work and sometimes scary but it has a high success rate, I have been referred again for CBT usually u don't have to have that many sessions but I became Ill and had to stop.

I really think your lump in throat feeling is acid reflux I have it right now thanks to dominoes lol