I'm on 1 sooo MAD/stressed......

[Col]

Advice needed PLEASE xxx

For those of u that have dragged me through my wows regarding my family in the past I really need some helpfull advice. They have contributed to my breakdown 2011 & as some of u guys know my parents are the Bain of my life!

For those of u who dont know my story please read my old threads but I'm married with kids not at home or anything!

So my mum came to see me and kids on Saturday 8 th as my daughters birthday on 9th. On surface for kids I can have a fake ok relationship with mum but under the surface a very volatile relationship.

So I have a cousin & he's a bit of a wide boy my mum decided to spill the beans about her involvement with him regarding something bad! Apoarently been going on for 5 years and decided to tell me know as its got out of hand and very serious! I'm appalled and discusted but I couldn't say much because kids were around and screaming baby.

So shes kept it quiet for 5 years and was teary saying shes a bad mum/grandmother blah blah ! And then beggers belief - She turned round in the same breath and asked me to do her a favour and call/text my cousin for her!!! He's wrecked her house ( she lives with her partner) and will not mend what he's broken and won't remove his stuff and the house is apparently an absolute wreck!!!!! He's also nicked stuff and I bought her some furniture and he's taken that blah bla

Baring in mind she's bullied me, force me to name my first daughter, my brother has absolutly nothing to do with her, I helped her 2 years ago avoid a separation with her current partner as she was nearly caught having an affair with his boss! She's nothing but trouble.

What would u do??? What should I do text him ???? Tbh I think I should give her a very sharp talking to and bluntly tell her to piss off !

Now ive had a few days to think about it - I can feel the anxiety rising I'm soooo f-in annoyed she's had the ordasity to ask me I'm getting so annoyed I feel like ripping her head off!

Please help

[Annie0904]

Col, it is your Mothers problem not yours! She is the one who got herself into this mess so she will have to get herself out of it. I wouldn't text your cousin if I was you, I would leave it for your mother to sort. Sorry if this may seem harsh to others reading this but Col I have followed your threads and your mother does nothing for you other than increase your anxieties. You have enough on your plate at the moment with a young family to take care off. Your mother needs to grow up and become a responsible adult and learn how to do things right herself. You concentrate on your little family and let your Mother sort her own life out.

[Col]

Thanks sooo much Annie xxx I was I think taken aback Saturday by the news and my daughters birthday so preoccupied & now the morei think about it and helping her out of trouble - again, it makes me feel furious! That's why I asked for your help because I thought ' it's only a text' but then something keeps saying she's kept this quiet for 5 blumming years she's saying she's mad with herself especially being a grandmother but she's not that coy infact more like brazen and frankly rude to ask me! I agree Annie I thought before threading that I should keep well out , not text and I'm tempted to text my mother instead and tell her how damn right out of order she is.

Thanks Annie , can't thank u more xxx

[Fishmanpa]

I agree totally with "Dear Annie" ;)

I love my family BUT, if I were faced with a similar situation, I would have been long gone years ago!

I hope you find the strength to do what you know is right for you and yours.

Positive thoughts

[Col]

Thanks fishmanpa , well I already knew not to help her and u both have confirmed my gut reaction! Why oh why does she behave like this?

Xxxx

Ps fishmanpa the only reason I've stuck around is because of having to explain to my kids why I no longer talk to my parents. - that's the only thing that holds me back from telling them to get lost x

[Fishmanpa]

Thanks fishmanpa , well I already knew not to help her and u both have confirmed my gut reaction! Why oh why does she behave like this?

Xxxx

Ps fishmanpa the only reason I've stuck around is because of having to explain to my kids why I no longer talk to my parents. - that's the only thing that holds me back from telling them to get lost x

Heck Col... that seems to be a heck of a lot easier than dealing with your Mom! ;) This is how I imagine the conversation

Kids: Mom, how come you don't talk to Grand Mom anymore?

Col: Well kids, you know how I love you and show it all the time?

Kids: Yeah Mom...you're the best! :D

Col: Well Grand Mom doesn't feel about me the way I feel about you. It's not good fro my health and I need to feel good too :)

Positive thoughts

[Col]

I need to find the strength to be a lot more firm & make her truly believe her actions suck & to leave me the hell out of her crap! How dare she have the balls to ask me to do another favour for her especially after all crap she's caused me?She says she's discusted with her actions! Hmmmm me thinks not - some would call it bull s***! She's a good actress, her sentiments don't run deep enough! Very superficial :mad:

Xxxx thanks guys xxx

[Annie0904]

Try not to let it stress you too much Col, I know that is easier to say than do but you have to think about yourself so try to relax and think about happier things. :hugs::hugs::hugs: