View Full Version : General Question
Good Afternoon,
I wanted to ask you a general question.
My supervisor didn't show up for work in the light of an ongoing investigation into something I supposedly did.
However, as soon as I was moved out of the office to another department, she moved back into the office she was working in.
If the distress was too much for her, would she be off work due to sickness and would her work be affected, in your opinion?
Also, would she go on social media and post how wonderful life was if she had suffered a genuine workplace distress? Would you get over a distressful situation that quickly, especially in light of the fact that if the result of the investigation didn't work in her favour, that she could decide to take other actions outside of the workplace?
My feeling is that if the emotional distress was so great, after I had moved offices and she had gone back to her original job, the distress wouldn't disappear just like that - there would be symptoms both at work and at home that would affect her and if the distress was so that it left emotional damage to herself, then she would proceed in other areas because she hadn't fully recovered from the distress and wanted some type of closure over the matter?
Thank you for your advice.
I would say yes if someone was very distressed from a situation then it could make her ill enough to take time off work and it could affect her work. Not really knowing the situation it is difficult to advise but if whatever it was stressing her was removed from the workplace then yes she could recover well enough to go back.
I would say yes if someone was very distressed from a situation then it could make her ill enough to take time off work and it could affect her work. Not really knowing the situation it is difficult to advise but if whatever it was stressing her was removed from the workplace then yes she could recover well enough to go back.
If she had been emotionally scarred by the incident and wanted to claim some sort of reimbursement for damages, could it be construed as strange if she was saying life was great, especially in light of the recent ordeal she suffered? If the complainant felt that the outcome wasn't justified and decided to take it elsewhere, then surely she must be suffering still some type of emotional distress as opposed to saying life is great?
MRS STRESS ED
11-02-14, 14:23
Robinsky makes you wonder doesnt it ,ermm game playing that doest seem like someone who is so distressed to me :hugs:
I agree - you can't be so distressed and they say you're loving life. Just doesn't work like that at all, imo.
Facebook and social media is not an accurate representation of life. One cannot take what's posted and said at "face" value (pun intentional). Under the circumstances, it might be best to delete your account or at the very least block everyone from seeing any of your posts until all of this resolves. I wouldn't be concerned with anyone else but yourself at this point.
Positive thoughts
What I decided was, I was going to delete my account but then just blocked everyone at work.
Just found out something interesting.
On the Monday, one of my colleagues came in to say she had a headache and wouldn't be coming back to the office.
I knew something was up and walked past the front of the building and surprise, surprise, she was in there making a phone call.
That's not the interesting bit, though. On the same day, she tweeted and said how she was loving life... on the same day!
If you were so traumatised by an event and it meant making a formal complaint AND bringing in your trade union, obviously it hasn't affected her too much. Just been talking to my parents about it. The reality would have been very different indeed.
I've extracted that info from her Twitter and also, there's a pattern to her loving life as well. Sorry, but if you were so emotionally affected by another's actions, you just would not do things like this.
Hopefully I'm right. What do you think?
TBH, I would take screen shots of this to use as evidence in support of your case if this goes any further. A lot of employers now have guidance for staff about using social media, as quite a few people have managed to get themselves in trouble by saying stupid/inappropriate things.
TBH, I would take screen shots of this to use as evidence in support of your case if this goes any further. A lot of employers now have guidance for staff about using social media, as quite a few people have managed to get themselves in trouble by saying stupid/inappropriate things.
The whole thing is to do with (I believe) Cyber Bullying as I’ve been informed that sexual harassment can only occur within the workplace (not sure about this).
If that’s the case and I’m led to believe that sexual harassment is a form of Cyber Bullying, that is what I will be using in my case.
Also, it is generally accepted it would take more than one or two incidents (such as in the work place, regardless of the offensiveness of the incident in regards to comments made) and that there would have to be an established pattern to the behaviour and be constantly around her.
By doing what she’s done, she’s made it look like she’s experiencing a hostile work environment by an external source (this can be the case for some people). If that’s the case, normal hostile work environment rules would apply because you can’t have one rule for one and one rule for another, regardless.
Please note that the following could cause offence and is not intended – it is used to merely illustrate an example so I apologise now if anybody finds this offensive.
With bullying, it also has to be shown that there was intent to harm, especially in the case of cyber bullying. To give an example if I said I was going to have sex with my supervisor, that’s a direct threat of sexual intention and of course, would be extremely serious.
However, if I said, can you imagine this scenario: “what would happen if I had sex with my supervisor at work and my boss walked in? Oh, dear” and then relate this to a real life/fictitious example, I can’t be guilty of intent because there is none – it would be an offensive statement at someone’s expense. I’ve got to be shown that I actually meant to harm the individual in question.
Regards
I agree - you can't be so distressed and they say you're loving life. Just doesn't work like that at all, imo.
Yes I completely agree, you cannot be "happy" and "distressed" simultaneously, It's impossible...
Hi Robinsky,
There's a whole back-story behind this that means that you can't really ask for meaningful responses from people on NMP.
I don't want to take sides, but clearly there is some human relations interactional problem between you and two co-workers.
If you can't sort it out, you're best off in separate departments. Ditch any social media connections you have with them.
Yes I completely agree, you cannot be "happy" and "distressed" simultaneously, It's impossible...
She left the office to say she had something to do. What that was, I can’t quite remember. Some time passed and then one of my colleagues said she had gone home with a headache. I didn’t trust this so I decided to do a little subtle investigation of my own. I walked past the windows in the front of the building and I saw her in my Line Manager’s office. I believe she was using the computer/phone. Also what is interesting is that welfare contacted me and told me that she had sent to them a long email in which I can only assume was about the incident. On the two days put together, she had been in contact with her mate(s) to say how she was #lovinglife etc. As you say, if she was so distressed by what had happened, she would be stressed, ill, having time off work. The fact that she didn’t return to work the following day shows that she was suffering from a hostile work environment. Then they moved me to another dept. and all of a sudden, everything’s alright again and she continues on Twitter to say how she is #lovinglife. If the incident had affected her that much, she would be so emotionally withdrawn, unable to do her job, be off work sick and suffering from stress which means she couldn’t be able to engage in things she normally could – there would also be issues in her home life as well. In essence, there would be a definite change in her behavioural patterns. It would be seen as suspicious that as soon as I had left the office, everything’s alright again – you just don’t turn emotional distress on and off like a switch – it’s a long lasting thing. Especially in light if she wanted to take matters further because she would still have to be suffering from emotional distress and be scarred by what had happened. Her Twitter account suggests differently and if it can be established from her working pattern that there was no undue change in her working behaviour, that’d be a very strong piece of evidence to work with.
---------- Post added at 10:08 ---------- Previous post was at 10:04 ----------
Hi Robinsky,
There's a whole back-story behind this that means that you can't really ask for meaningful responses from people on NMP.
I don't want to take sides, but clearly there is some human relations interactional problem between you and two co-workers.
If you can't sort it out, you're best off in separate departments. Ditch any social media connections you have with them.
With the greatest of respect to you, I have got some very good advice from individuals on here, some who are even specialised in the field of what I require.
The issue is between me and another co-worker sadly. I agree it probably is for the best we’re in other departments.
I no longer have any social media interaction with people from work now, bar one or two but I think it is a good idea to get them off my social media – it’s a lesson learned. NEVER friend your co-workers – its asking for trouble, no matter how much you think of them.
Thanks for your response.
Regards
Robinsky I cannot stress enough that you should avoid any interaction with this woman at all costs.
1) Do not talk to her directly ever again - even if she asks you a direct question - always answer through an intermediary. Never look her in the eye again - always look to the floor or at a colleague.
2) If she is walking towards you make a show of moving as far away from her as possible. Ask anyone near to you to make a note of your conduct and to witness that you had no interaction with her (this is hopefully to stop her making any further accusations.
3) When talking about this woman with other work colleagues only stick to the facts - never get personal no matter how much you would like to - your reputation is on the line.
4) Freeze her totally out! When people ask why, tell them she has made false accusations against you and you are just covering your back. Hopefully this will give your male colleagues some warning to what she is capable of.
I've been admonished on this site for daring to suggest that men and women are different and that men should avoid having women in their inner circle, but over 25 years of working experience has given me that view - I can't ignore everything I've seen! Ignore my advice at your own peril!
Hi Robinsky,
No worries. The advice has been good.
I hope things work out for you.
My main concern was could this turn into a civil suit. I'm reasonably convinced that won't happen, not on a one off incident.
It would need to be more than that for a court to even consider it at an employment tribunal. Besides, she herself is guilty of harassment for humiliating me in the office when talking about my looks and saying that she wouldn't go out with me looking the way I do.
She can't have it both ways.
She's a hypocrite and she's cost me my place in the job I was happy in as well. I bet if I said that in the office under normal circumstances, she wouldn't bat an eyelid to the degree that she would make a complaint. Don't kid me she's innocent either. She ain't.
Regards
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