Gemlou78
12-02-14, 11:27
I had a breakdown (major depressive episode/panic attacks/agrophobia) in 2010 it was due to bullying at work and I ended up resigning. Since then if I suffer prolonged stress i'm prone to panic attacks.
I had been ok for about a year but my family circumstances have been stressful for a long while and now I'm struggling to leave the house without having a panic attack and i'm depressed again. My doc has given me valium for if I really need it, propanalol beta blockers and Citralopram anti depressant which I started last night.
I wasn't with my partner when I had the breakdown in 2010 but met him once i'd recovered. He know's I'd been really ill.
I have a 1yr old with him and we are due to get married in June this year (so worried about having a panic attack going down the aisle now this has happened).
I've been fine with my baby but he has two kids from a previous relationship. He was young when he had them and his parents are very controlling. When his ex was being difficult with access they paid for court. I supported him in this. My partner wanted his access every other weekend (as he was moving in with me and my teenage son who has a chronic bowel disease) he knew with me being a housing association tennant that we couldn't apply for a house with spare room for his kids as they don't take into account non resident children. We figured we could manage overcrowding every other weekend.
His parents however had other ideas and as they were paying for court insisted on every weekend and lied to the solicitor about the sleeping arrangements.
The truth of the sleeping arrangements is that his boys share a fold out bed in our small bedroom. So I look after my 1yr old (who doesn't sleep great) all week while my partner works...we are both exhusted when he gets home we have no time together and at weekend when most people chill we have a very high stress situation. His 7yr old talks/shouts out in his sleep..this sets his 5yr old off whimpering and at times wakes my baby so we then have to stumble over the fold out bed which is literally inches from our own to reach the door.
I'm exhausted and now very ill.
He went to speak to his parents last night to see if they would have the boys every other weekend (as they wont here of them being with thier own mother) they had a row. My parnter has used my being ill as his excuse when he wants every other weekend too.
He had been really supportive about my illness but on coming back from his parents said that they don't understand why I've become ill with panic attacks and depression. He then said he doesn't really understand it either...whcih isn't what he was saying before he went to discuss this issue.
I feel like running away with my kids. I feel so ill all the time and trapped. I feel like i'm screaming inside.
I just really needed a place to get this off my chest.
Sorry for the rant x
I had been ok for about a year but my family circumstances have been stressful for a long while and now I'm struggling to leave the house without having a panic attack and i'm depressed again. My doc has given me valium for if I really need it, propanalol beta blockers and Citralopram anti depressant which I started last night.
I wasn't with my partner when I had the breakdown in 2010 but met him once i'd recovered. He know's I'd been really ill.
I have a 1yr old with him and we are due to get married in June this year (so worried about having a panic attack going down the aisle now this has happened).
I've been fine with my baby but he has two kids from a previous relationship. He was young when he had them and his parents are very controlling. When his ex was being difficult with access they paid for court. I supported him in this. My partner wanted his access every other weekend (as he was moving in with me and my teenage son who has a chronic bowel disease) he knew with me being a housing association tennant that we couldn't apply for a house with spare room for his kids as they don't take into account non resident children. We figured we could manage overcrowding every other weekend.
His parents however had other ideas and as they were paying for court insisted on every weekend and lied to the solicitor about the sleeping arrangements.
The truth of the sleeping arrangements is that his boys share a fold out bed in our small bedroom. So I look after my 1yr old (who doesn't sleep great) all week while my partner works...we are both exhusted when he gets home we have no time together and at weekend when most people chill we have a very high stress situation. His 7yr old talks/shouts out in his sleep..this sets his 5yr old off whimpering and at times wakes my baby so we then have to stumble over the fold out bed which is literally inches from our own to reach the door.
I'm exhausted and now very ill.
He went to speak to his parents last night to see if they would have the boys every other weekend (as they wont here of them being with thier own mother) they had a row. My parnter has used my being ill as his excuse when he wants every other weekend too.
He had been really supportive about my illness but on coming back from his parents said that they don't understand why I've become ill with panic attacks and depression. He then said he doesn't really understand it either...whcih isn't what he was saying before he went to discuss this issue.
I feel like running away with my kids. I feel so ill all the time and trapped. I feel like i'm screaming inside.
I just really needed a place to get this off my chest.
Sorry for the rant x