View Full Version : Scared to take - first time on medication
I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and she prescribed me Sertraline 50mg I picked them up, put them in a drawer and have worried for the past few weeks about taking them, I Googled everything I could and worked myself right up about having to take SSRIs. Heard they're not safe, some people regretted ever starting them, the side effects scare the hell out of me (though as people tell me and the mental health nurse said today, when they do the tests on these things even if one person experiences a headache they have to put that on the warnings) in my mind though I'm going to get all the bad things maybe every side effect going.
So anyway, I told the mental health nurse all of this (and here I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need medication) So she basically said because I've done so much research and reading into the Sertraline she didn't think I'd take them and I told her that my problem is more anxiety and not really depression. So she said she was putting me on something more for anxiety and that would come with fewer side effects. So I'm to take one tablet a day 10mg. I collected my tablets and they're sat in the drawer next to the Sertraline at the moment. I did Google a bit before and read something about heart problems and big warnings that scared the hell out of me, but I'm not letting myself Google anymore as I know if I do I definitely won't take them and I can't keep buying medication I don't have the money to waste on and collecting them all never to take them.
I'm on the fence with the thought of taking them at the moment, so scared but have read some good things on here and not too bad side effects and they can help, but don't know. I'm worried if I take one I'll get into a panic about what might happen and then just sit here waiting to feel the slightest change and side effect. It's giving me a huge stomach ache just thinking about all of this.
So are they really dangerous and could they ruin my heart and give me a heart attack or anything? Or do permanent damage to my brain? I'm shaking my head even asking it but I need to and my family here are no help they just think I'm crazy.
Are they worth taking? What exactly are they supposed to make you feel like?
At the moment I don't go out much though I can force myself to. I worry about everything and anything, family dying is a big one, my dog getting ill or attacked is another one, but it can be anything. I am not always in high anxiety, is it always there but sometimes when my mind is off it I can feel more relaxed than other times when I'm sitting there thinking about it all.
I have Social Anxiety as well GAD and Health Anxiety which is better some months than others. I can't work outside of the home at the moment as the anxiety is always so bad in those situations. I've been living like this all my life now (I'm 32) and don't want to carry on like this forever, but they seem to think that I need the medication along with therapy help.
I'm on my first time with meds too. Like you I am terrified of taking anything ( 20 years before I took a paracetamol!). Last Thursday I saw the doctor and he told me to go home, take the pills out of the drawer, where they've been sitting for ages, and take them. I realised I couldn't carry on like I was as not only was it affecting my life, but my family too. So, I did it! I was also prescribed diazepam as they can make you even more anxious initially. I am now on day 8 and no side effects to report although today I have some weird red marks on one arm, but to be honest I think I have burnt myself on my hot water bottle. Needless to say I can't stop looking at them! I suffer from GAD and HA too and have tried hard to avoid meds. Now I am trying to think that in a few weeks time I will feel much better. My HA is of the avoidance type. I hope you can find the courage to start them and I'm sure you'll be fine. X
im going to be completely honest with you, firstly I am going to say Citalopram has saved me but the road to recovery has been very bumpy and terrifying at times.
First side effects I got for the first 2 or 3 days was a body high feeling and for the first week was feeling sleepy and worn out, also after the first couple of days my anxiety went through the roof, this was on my starting dose of 10mg 3 months ago.
After 8.5 weeks on 10mg I began to feel better, I increased to 20mg and again I didn't get any other side effects except my anxiety went through the roof again, 1 month and 10 days on 20mg and im again starting to feel "myself" again with a few "blips" in between where I get a mild panic attack or shakiness or twitching adrenaline rush.
For these times where I cannot naturally control myself I take a small dose of a benzo.
The main thing is to stop researching for negative things as they put negative thoughts into your head which alone will increase your anxiety and put you into panic mode.
Stop researching, that's the first thing, but like others are doing here keep some sort of a diary with your progress and post about your negative and positive days, tell us a bit about your anxiety triggers and keep positive thoughts into your mind and most of all keep healthy.
So your anxiety may likely increase when you start citalopram as your brain and body adjusts to it, its normal, but after 3 months on a very terrifying and bumpy road its VERY MUCH WORTH IT in the end and you'll be looking back proud of yourself at how much progress you've made.
Don't be scared, begin your first dose of citalopram and don't stop even if symptoms increase, its all normal.
I agree you need to stop researching. Easier said than done I know. I've had many frenzied googling sessions. It just makes your anxiety levels rocket.
I'm going to be taking my 3rd citalopram tonight. I am having side affects but I want my life back so I'll put up with them. I hope you find the courage to take them. Xx
I'm on my first time with meds too. Like you I am terrified of taking anything ( 20 years before I took a paracetamol!). Last Thursday I saw the doctor and he told me to go home, take the pills out of the drawer, where they've been sitting for ages, and take them. I realised I couldn't carry on like I was as not only was it affecting my life, but my family too. So, I did it! I was also prescribed diazepam as they can make you even more anxious initially. I am now on day 8 and no side effects to report although today I have some weird red marks on one arm, but to be honest I think I have burnt myself on my hot water bottle. Needless to say I can't stop looking at them! I suffer from GAD and HA too and have tried hard to avoid meds. Now I am trying to think that in a few weeks time I will feel much better. My HA is of the avoidance type. I hope you can find the courage to start them and I'm sure you'll be fine. X
Thank you for the reply. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who was scared to start taking medication and that it isn't all bad. I haven't taken any yet but am sure my partner will try and get me to take one tomorrow.
My HA is the avoidance type as well. Hope that your arm and red marks go soon and you keep on getting better and better. :)
im going to be completely honest with you, firstly I am going to say Citalopram has saved me but the road to recovery has been very bumpy and terrifying at times.
First side effects I got for the first 2 or 3 days was a body high feeling and for the first week was feeling sleepy and worn out, also after the first couple of days my anxiety went through the roof, this was on my starting dose of 10mg 3 months ago.
After 8.5 weeks on 10mg I began to feel better, I increased to 20mg and again I didn't get any other side effects except my anxiety went through the roof again, 1 month and 10 days on 20mg and im again starting to feel "myself" again with a few "blips" in between where I get a mild panic attack or shakiness or twitching adrenaline rush.
For these times where I cannot naturally control myself I take a small dose of a benzo.
The main thing is to stop researching for negative things as they put negative thoughts into your head which alone will increase your anxiety and put you into panic mode.
Stop researching, that's the first thing, but like others are doing here keep some sort of a diary with your progress and post about your negative and positive days, tell us a bit about your anxiety triggers and keep positive thoughts into your mind and most of all keep healthy.
So your anxiety may likely increase when you start citalopram as your brain and body adjusts to it, its normal, but after 3 months on a very terrifying and bumpy road its VERY MUCH WORTH IT in the end and you'll be looking back proud of yourself at how much progress you've made.
Don't be scared, begin your first dose of citalopram and don't stop even if symptoms increase, its all normal.
Thank you for replying. I know that I need to stop researching and I haven't done since getting these new ones or I will never take them, I've only read a few posts in this section. Keeping a diary if I take them is a good idea though thanks.
I am just scared of how anxious I'll be if I take them and all the side effects I could get. At the moment my anxiety is not unbareble all the time, worse if I have to go out or do something involving other people. I just don't want to have a panic attack if I do take one or anything. Glad that it's working good for you and you're getting better. :)
I agree you need to stop researching. Easier said than done I know. I've had many frenzied googling sessions. It just makes your anxiety levels rocket.
I'm going to be taking my 3rd citalopram tonight. I am having side affects but I want my life back so I'll put up with them. I hope you find the courage to take them. Xx
It is easier said than done, when I told the mental health nurse everything I'd learned about Sertraline I knew I'd over done it and she knew I'd never take them now which is why she swapped me onto these, plus the fact my main problem is anxiety. I haven't googled anything though as I know if I do then I'll never take them.
I'm just a huge wimp when it comes to taking any medication. I hope that it all keeps on going well for you and the side effects don't last too long and you get your life back. :)
______________________________________________
I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need to be taking medication, it's like how do you make that choice that you do need to take them? And that you can't do it by therapy alone? How do they make you feel? Do they reduce your worry, block it out? Make you feel relaxed, happy?
I know with the amount I worry though that I probably do need to take them, it's just it scares me so much and I know as soon as I swallow one I'll be waiting for any little twinge and worrying that something bad is going to happen and I'm going to get worse. I have another doctors appointment in 13 days and am dreading going back and telling her that I still haven't taken them.
I also would hate them to effect my sleep as I love that. And I really don't want to put on any weight, I already need to lose some so don't need anymore of that.
If I do take one tomorrow what is the best time to take one? I know some people say they make them tired others say it makes them not sleep. Do you take with or without food?
The other thing with me is that I don't have any life to get back to, I've always been like I am right now for as much of my 32 years as I remember, scared of everything, a lot of Social Anxiety, avoidance of everything, worrying all the time, feeling down, irritable etc. I've been this way since I can remember, so if I take them and get therapy what will I be like then if I have nothing to get 'back to'?
I think that my partner is probably going to try and get me to take one tomorrow, I just don't know, everyone is telling me to take them, it's just so scary, maybe I'm being a wimp but I can't help it. I know I over think things way too much but I also can't help this, I do it with every bit of my life.
I want to stop worrying about everything. To be able to go out without feeling my heart beating out of my chest, getting stomach ache and feeling shaky and sick. I want to be able to get a job outside and be comfortable around people. I want to be able to take my dog for a walk without having a panic attack about him getting attacked as soon I leave the house with him.
From what you describe about yourself I would say you may benefit from meds. Apart from sertraline what is the other medication you have been given for anxiety?
---------- Post added at 11:01 ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 ----------
..remember some people get NO side effects at all!!!!
I feel for you, I think I knew months ago that I needed to go on meds but I was so scared to knowing I would have side effects and discontinuation symptoms when I eventually come off them. I'm going to ask for cbt when I go back to the doctors...have you had this? Maybe it would help you too. I hope you find a way to come through this xx
CertifiableMe
15-02-14, 15:47
My advice?...get started on them!
I have been on meds for a very long time now and they have saved me. As has already been mentioned, the road is bumpy with good days, bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. But, i can honestly say that without i would not be here.
It is always scary because of the things you hear and read about anti-depressants, but that world has changed now. The modern SSRI's are not addictive like the one's of old and they really do work. It took me three different types to find the one that worked for me and although i am not 100% convinced they are perfect, they do help.
Trust your Doctor, start taking them and give it at least a month before worrying. It will be the best thing you ever did.
Good luck.
From what you describe about yourself I would say you may benefit from meds. Apart from sertraline what is the other medication you have been given for anxiety?
---------- Post added at 11:01 ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 ----------
..remember some people get NO side effects at all!!!!
I've never been given or taken any medication for my anxiety before. Have never really been to the doctor solely for the anxiety, but I think when I walked in with a list of symptoms that covered two sides of an A4 piece of paper this month she knew the anxiety was a problem.
I'm not too good with taking any kind of medication anyway. And I know you're right that some people don't have any side effects, it's just in my mind I expect to get all the worse ones. If I'm going to take one it's going to be tomorrow when my partners home all day to distract me from sitting here waiting for something bad to happen once I've taken one. It would be really nice to not always have constant worry surging through me.
Thanks for replying :)
I feel for you, I think I knew months ago that I needed to go on meds but I was so scared to knowing I would have side effects and discontinuation symptoms when I eventually come off them. I'm going to ask for cbt when I go back to the doctors...have you had this? Maybe it would help you too. I hope you find a way to come through this xx
In my mind I think anyone that starts taking medication is brave as I find it so terrifying. I know I'm probably being a total baby about it but I always avoid everything in life and taking medication is no exception. But, I don't want to be like this forever, 32 years is enough to waste my life in fear so I'll try and take one tomorrow. What time do you take yours? Do they make you sleepy or more awake? I'm not sure what time would be best if I do.
I'm booked in to see another mental health nurse to start CBT next month, never done that before so it's scary but I've heard a lot of good about it, hope that you do go back and request a referral as well for it. :)
I take mine at night, the first night I did it at 8pm but found it made me feel sick and sleepy so since then I take it right before getting in bed which I find better for me. That's great you are getting cbt I'd be interested to hear how you find it. I'm defo going to ask for ot, just hope I don't have to wait too long. Xx
I'm sitting here and I know that I need to either take it or not today. The one worrying thing I've read is about weight gain and taking this can make it much harder to lose weight. I need to lose weight and certainly not gain any so I'm now scared about that too. Some say it slows your metabolism and mine doesn't need slowing down anymore.
Although I know some say that they've lost weight while on it and that comfort eating stopped this is what I do sometimes.
Has anyone lost or gained a lot of weight while on this because of this pill?
I keep wondering if I'm bad enough to be taking it or if I can get normal without medication. It's all very stressful.
Decisions decisions.
Shelly, our minds come up with every reason in the world not to take a new medication for fear of the side effects. I have done this to myself countless times. In each instance, I ended up taking the prescribed medication and none of my fears came true. Google is the worst place in the world for me. I recently had to take an antibiotic that I had never taken before. I felt that little niggle in the back of my mind, but refused to look up the medication and it's side effects. I said the heck with it and took the first pill. I was and am just fine.
Side effects can initially bother some people on SSRI's but the alternative is living a life of worry, which is not living at all. Take the pill. You will be helping yourself in the long run.
:scared15:
I've taken one!!!!
I knew my partner would really try to get one down me today and it took four hours but it's gone down. I feeling shaky and dizzy and sick but that's because I spent an hour winding myself up about taking it and stressing out.
I hope I don't balloon to the size of a house or get bad effects from it now :scared15: It better do something good for me with how stressful I find it to take anything like this.
Now I'm sitting here thinking my throat is closing up and feeling my glands every five seconds, also waiting for any little feeling to happen. :wacko: Luckily I have to cook so that will take my mind off it a bit, and we've just cleaned the car.
And thanks Tanner for your reply. I know googling is the worst thing anyone with anxiety can do. I've stopped myself doing that a lot. I want to do it right now about this feeling in my throat but I know if I do I'll get into a right panic. I know my throat isn't closing up but it feels like that.
I really don't want to live the rest of my life worrying like I have done, this is all so hard. I wish I was as brave as all of you and just take them and get on with things.
Hello Shelley, I have just read through all your thread. Shelley, I have also suffered with anxiety for most of my life. I also suffer from panic attacks and agoraphobia. Although since last week I have started to go out a bit. I am trying to push myself.i also suffer from health anxiety. Currently, I have been taking citalopram for about a month now. I started off with 5 mg for 13 days and then went onto 10mg. Today I have gone up to 12.5 mg. like you I was so scared of starting the tablets. They sat in my cupboard for about 5 weeks, then eventually I realised I needed something to make me better. So I took them. I won't lie to you, but for the first three weeks I felt awful, I got a lot of side effects. I just managed to stick to them. I have began to feel better, not completely better that's why I am upping my dose. I am going to try to get up to 20mg. From what I have read on no more panic, 20 mg is the therapeutic dose.
Have you taken that first tablet? If I were u start off with 5mg and if u do get side effects let them calm down before u increase.
I have started 12.5 mg today , I think I will take 12.5 tomorrow, if I am ok I will up it to 15mg the next day. Keep posting, let us no how u get on. Good luck!
---------- Post added at 16:50 ---------- Previous post was at 16:41 ----------
Shelley, just read your post. I think u posted at the same time as me. What dose have you taken? Well done for taking it.
I have taken my first tablet 10mg about 40 minutes ago and am sitting here trying not to get all in a panic now about what could happen. My health anxiety comes and goes in strength, last month it was really bad, this month not so much but right now the stress is high there. The social anxiety has always been a huge problem in my life and the main reason I don't go out much and when I'm in I'm always stressing about something, drives my family crazy.
Maybe I should cut the pill in half and only take half tomorrow instead of the full 10mg, I'm not sure what to do?
Oops keeping posting together. My dose is 10mg.
Good luck with upping your dose and pleased that you have started to go out a bit too :)
Hi, I am about three weeks in now,
For me as with others the anxiety had become crippling so I after several attempts to avoid Meds though therapy and white knuckles eventually started.
My experience the first week was of side effects that were generally pleasant, I felt high, which was the polar opposite of what I was expecting and a nice way to calm my initial worries. Second week was hard with nausea and increased anxiety, but manageable. Last week, fairly east although I have felt pretty tired all week.
As others say, there will be ups and downs, but nothing unmanageable. Just plod in each day as nothing it throws at you can't be handled.
In terms of how it makes you feel generally, I feel like after years of being surrounded by people scratching their nails on blackboards someone has finally given me some ear muffs.
Thank you for sharing your experience as well Zeitgeist. It is good to know that not everyone gets really bad side effects that's what my main worry is about taking this.
I haven't really had any CBT before just seen two counsellors and two mental health nurses, but obviously the doctor now and the nurse I saw last week thinks I need to start on medication to help when I do get the CBT going.
I really, really didn't want to take medication as I know what I'm like, I'm not good with taking medication and worrying what might happen because of it.
Your first week on it sounded nice, wish I could have that experience. After I'd calmed down yesterday after I took it I did feel alright, it was later on when everyone went to bed and I was left alone with my thoughts that I started to get a bit panicky about having taken it.
That sounds good about how it makes you feel, did you start on 10mg as well? I hope it continues to go really well for you :)
__________________________________________________ ___
Where I am today. I have to take my 2nd pill today and I'm as nervous about it as I was yesterday.
I took my pill at around 4.15 yesterday afternoon, can I take it earlier than that today or will something bad happen?
Last night in bed I got panicky a bit, my heart rate seemed high and I could really feel my heart beating in my chest, I had a chest pain twinge and I didn't sleep properly all night, only one or two times went into a very light 'sleep' and had a few weird dreams even for me. But I was mainly awake all night, was awake when people got up this morning at 6 and then slightly fell asleep for an hour or two after that. I really don't like getting broken sleep or not much of it as usually, unless I'm having a HA episode I can sleep really well for a long time.
I feel a bit jittery inside, like I can really feel my heart beat and a bit shaky. I'm also clenching my teeth a lot as well, though I did do this before a lot. Not sure if this is just because I'm stressing so much about having taken medication.
I got up today and my heart rate felt fast again, a little chest pain twinge, my stomach felt bit off before but it seems alright at the moment, the jittery feeling is still there, but I am sitting here worrying about the medication and what it might do so that might be the reason.
I know I'm a wimp about taking medication and it's worst when there's no one in the house but me and the dog so have nothing to really distract me from thinking, which is probably why I'm on here mumbling away :blush:
Hope everyone else is doing alright today :)
Howdie, good on you for keeping going.
I started on 20mg and still debating whether to ask to go higher.
The trick I found was acceptance, my body has done so e weird stuff over the last few weeks, none of it fatal or overpowering, just weird and strange. I have tended to note the symptom and try and think of it as part of an experiment i am doing on myself. When it has made me feel good, great I will enjoy it in that moment, when I feel bad it will pass.
Some of the side effects are just odd enough to get me to smile, so for instance I woke up the other night because I had been sweating profusely, for some reason my sweat smells quite different since taking Cit. I could just smell a horrid smell and feel I was wet, my addled brain came up with that I had wet myself, but my lower half was dry, as opposed to my t-shirt armpits, leading to an hour of confusion as I started to worry I was weeping through my pits. Luckily when brain started working properly that made no sense whatsoever and I spent the rest of the day faintly amused at the ludicrousness of it all.
So I think what I am getting at is that it is going to be strange for a while, but safe so look to roll with it and wonder at the weirdness of our bodies and minds
:) Thank you for sharing, it did make me smile too hope you don't mind me saying. Thinking of all of this as an experiment is a good idea as I guess it really is.
Can I take my pill two hours earlier than I did yesterday?
I'd prefer to take it earlier but it took me until 4ish yesterday to get it down. If I sit here thinking about taking it I won't so I'd rather just get it down now if I can.
I don't think 2 hours earlier will make any difference. I take mine at 9.30am. My first time on meds, now day 12, 10mg. I was supposed to increase to 20mg after a week but haven't had the courage! Seeing the GP on Thursday so will ask him. I also have some diazepam. I'm just hoping that I will feel better in a few weeks time and less anxious!
Shelley,
Yes you can take it now...thats fine. All the things you mentioned you are feeling are either your normal anxiety or side effects. These will pass. Keep going:)
Thank you Jillyb, it's good that you're seeing the doctor this week and can chat about it with him. It is scary starting taking them and scary raising the dose I know, I'd have probably given it a few weeks on 10mg like you have as well and then going up, as I know some say going up to 20mg really did help when the felt ready to do it.
And thank you SarahH. Thank you for the encouragement, I'm the kind that needs it, more so if I'm doing something I really don't want to be doing. I've taken my 2nd pill so will see how that goes.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.