Supriya
14-02-14, 06:53
i m a 28 year old male, married, 1 kid 1.5 year old daughter.. i was diagnosed with OcD 2 years back. unwanted thoughts of incest with my daughter, mom, sisters, sexual thoughts giving yuck feeling r my chief complaint. despite that i dont have any wish to act on these thoughts still they keep on coming again and again. my heart keep on trembling whole day. i m feared that what if i start acting on these henious unwanted thoughts.i feel anxiety whole day. recently i had a very strange thought pattern that if my family dies then i will be free from work burden. i will sleep whole day without any restriction,.. i feel extreme guilt that i wished death of my whole family. I LOVE THEM N NEVER WISH ANY PAIN TO THEM> i feel that GOD is angry with me and i will be destroyed... i took SSRI for 7 months. but no benefit. then 2nd psychiatrist medicines for 2 montha. no benefit. then 3rd medicine for 1 month no benefit. now i took 5 sessions of hypnotherapy completed last week. no benefit with HYPNOTHERAPY n HOMEOPATHY. please help me some how. i have spent all my savings in HYPNOTHERAPY treatment. please help me somehow. i m in extreme pain. please tell me what is the chance of me getting alright. thanks in advance. noone in my family knows about my disease.
suppose
when i m doing e r p and my daughter hand comes near my private past then i think of me doing incest. My mind feels anxiety. Tingling in groin and private part. Then i think that feeling of she masturbating me will be same as my wife does for me because touch sensation to skin will be same. Also it will be quite new experience of getting masturbated by a kid. Side by side i feel guilt and anxiety. I never do These acts because they are wrong, immoral and taboo. And i dont want to harm my kid or any other person or child because of my acts. this is complete story what i feel. Do you still think its ocd and not pedophilIa. I strongly feel its pedophilia. But i m afraid to act on the thoughts because of conscience which is GOD
I remain under tremendous stress because of my career insecurity and work. I never wish to go to work. I want to sleep endless, i want to take break from work for few weeks but my work profile allows me only sunday off. Working hours from 9 a.m to 9 p.m. - my parents and family dont know about my disease. They dont have any idea of my disease. Thats why they tell me to go to work daily. I also work for their happiness so that they dont feel down in society because of their lone son unemployed. 15 days back in morning i met a friend who was going for a trip with his family. He is unemployed. His father expired 1 year back. Now he doesnt have any regulation on him to work or to remain home. He goes for tip regularly and is free and happy to be unemployed. He is spending money saved by his father. He has sufficient money and assets. When i met him i was sad and going to work in morning. Then a thought popped up in my mind that FRIEND IS ENJOYING A COOL LIFE
WITHOUT ANY PRESSURE FROM FATHER. Now suddenly my mind also imagined myself at his place and his kind of life. I felt that his life is good. All this happened in a fraction of second. Immediately i realised that to get this free life i have to sacrifice life of my father whom i love a lot. I m feeling extreme guilt of it that i imagined this life for me. I feel i m worst son in this WORLD who imagine a cool life at cost of his father. Sir i love him a lot. I understand and i m confident that incest thoughts are unwanted and i never wished incest not even for a second. But i felt good imagining free life of that friend though only for a fraction of second. Is that thought also a result of OCD? I dont think so. Similar thought of imagining accident of my sister who went for a trip with her family is disturbing me. I felt ok for a second after imagining her accident. But when imagined scene of her accident and imagining her dead body i felt terrified. But
that feeling ok for a fraction of second in these 2 thoughts is causing me tremendous amount of guilt .please help me sir. My psychotherapist has gone abroad for a week. I m unable to contact him.
suppose
when i m doing e r p and my daughter hand comes near my private past then i think of me doing incest. My mind feels anxiety. Tingling in groin and private part. Then i think that feeling of she masturbating me will be same as my wife does for me because touch sensation to skin will be same. Also it will be quite new experience of getting masturbated by a kid. Side by side i feel guilt and anxiety. I never do These acts because they are wrong, immoral and taboo. And i dont want to harm my kid or any other person or child because of my acts. this is complete story what i feel. Do you still think its ocd and not pedophilIa. I strongly feel its pedophilia. But i m afraid to act on the thoughts because of conscience which is GOD
I remain under tremendous stress because of my career insecurity and work. I never wish to go to work. I want to sleep endless, i want to take break from work for few weeks but my work profile allows me only sunday off. Working hours from 9 a.m to 9 p.m. - my parents and family dont know about my disease. They dont have any idea of my disease. Thats why they tell me to go to work daily. I also work for their happiness so that they dont feel down in society because of their lone son unemployed. 15 days back in morning i met a friend who was going for a trip with his family. He is unemployed. His father expired 1 year back. Now he doesnt have any regulation on him to work or to remain home. He goes for tip regularly and is free and happy to be unemployed. He is spending money saved by his father. He has sufficient money and assets. When i met him i was sad and going to work in morning. Then a thought popped up in my mind that FRIEND IS ENJOYING A COOL LIFE
WITHOUT ANY PRESSURE FROM FATHER. Now suddenly my mind also imagined myself at his place and his kind of life. I felt that his life is good. All this happened in a fraction of second. Immediately i realised that to get this free life i have to sacrifice life of my father whom i love a lot. I m feeling extreme guilt of it that i imagined this life for me. I feel i m worst son in this WORLD who imagine a cool life at cost of his father. Sir i love him a lot. I understand and i m confident that incest thoughts are unwanted and i never wished incest not even for a second. But i felt good imagining free life of that friend though only for a fraction of second. Is that thought also a result of OCD? I dont think so. Similar thought of imagining accident of my sister who went for a trip with her family is disturbing me. I felt ok for a second after imagining her accident. But when imagined scene of her accident and imagining her dead body i felt terrified. But
that feeling ok for a fraction of second in these 2 thoughts is causing me tremendous amount of guilt .please help me sir. My psychotherapist has gone abroad for a week. I m unable to contact him.