so anxiouse shall i cancel?

[tricia56]

hi not sure if this is the right place to post this but for the past 2 days ive got my self in a right state, and don't know what I should do for the best as I have a very dear male friend who ive known now for ten years now and before I got the anxiety we used to meet up for meals etc but then I stopped seeing him but kept we still kept in touch by email and tx then last year I got the courage to ivite him over to mine for a meal and since then we have got very close andwant to become more than good friends . but now he wants to come over and spend the night with me next fri I said yes but now the anxiety is thro the roof and I cant stop worring over it ,im worried about my home because I havent haven't got a posh home I my bedroom hasn't got a carpet as im on beniefts and struggle to buy things. all the wat ifs are going thro my head constantly as ive got such a low selfasteem about myself and now im thinking maybe I should just tell him to just forget about me and find someone else who isn't so messed up as me with this anxiety and maybe i should just be on my own even tho I don't want that , I don't want to be lonely the rest of my life. I just don't know why im thinking like this and not sure if its the anxiety that's making me feel this way but its really geting me down always being the way I am, sorry for posting thisi just wanted to tell some onehow im feeling and maybe someone can give me advice thk you

[shakey1961]

He's meeting you, not your house! As long as it's tidy and presentable that's all you need worry about, something that you have control over.

He likes you as a person, just enjoy it.

Reverse the situation. If you had a lot of money and he didn't and was on benefits would you judge his house if it was like yours? I don't think you would.

Or, if you have a week to sort it, why not call him and explain. I'm sure he has your best interest at heart.

Hope you have a great time!!

[PanchoGoz]

I find it best not to think about it Trish, the only problem is what you brew up in your mind. When I make a decision, I too find myself what iffing and brooding, but then I say "no, it's happening, that's that, let's see what happens". You might as well experience it. I'd rather have a bad experience in life than no experience at all.

[gypcyg]

The first night he stays over I'll bet you a million pounds your carpet will be the last thing on his mind! It sounds like he likes you - if he judges you on your possessions then he isn't worth it anyway.

You'll probably get a thousand anxious moments between now and next Friday. You need to decide if the anxieties are stupid and pointless, or is there a bigger issue hiding in there? If your anxities are baseless and you want him to stay over then fight your anxieties with all you have learnt from this site.

Who knows he might take pity and buy you a carpet :D

[Annie0904]

It is you he is interested in seeing, not your house :) I am sure he is not going to judge your house at all.

[tricia56]

thk you all very much for your kind advice, I do want him to stay over and he as said that he is coming to see me not my home, he knows about the anxiety I suffer and understands how I get, so i think its just the anxiety that's trying to take over, and like gypcyg said my carpet is probly the last thing on his mind:D I think that's wat im more afraid of as I haven't had a sexual relationship for 7yrs :blush: so maybe that's wat im more anxiouse about so once again thk you all xxx

[Fishmanpa]

7 years? Talk about a "7 Year Itch"! Someone's gonna have a very Happy Valentine's Day! ;)

Positive thoughts