StarGazer2014
15-02-14, 04:36
I'm not exactly sure where to start... But anxiety. Is taking over me. And I don't know what to do.
I'm 18 years old. and I have severe health anxiety. So I freak out over every little thing I feel in my body. If my head feels weird I think it's a brain tumor. If my chest starts to hurt I think it's a heart attack. I haven't been able to leave my bed a lot. It's been hard for me to eat. Its been hard for me to sleep. My arms ache and are tingly. I wake up in fear. My mom has been living in my room with me for the past month. And I do nothing but cry all day. I fear the worst. My mind makes up these ridiculous excuses for why I'm feeling the way I feel. I'm always scared i'm gunna die. I'm scared to lose my boyfriend. I've had a hard time going to school. And I fear for my future. I'm a senior in high school and I'm almost in jeopardy of not graduating. I'm scared i'll never be able to live my life normally again.
Because I used to live a perfectly fine life... I was able to get up. Go to school. I was able to go and do things. But now. Everything has become so hard. I have felt as though I've become worthless. I don't know what to do...
I started therapy. But I haven't really gotten to far into it...
But it's the physical stuff that really holds me back from getting better. I'll have weird head feelings. My brain will feel foggy. My arms will hurt. My neck will feel weird. My throat will feel weird...
I talk to my aunt who is a doctor. And she'll tell me it's a migraine. Or anxiety. And it's hard for me to get my head around the fact that all i=of this could actually be anxiety... Just because the pains are so weird and foreign to me... I have a huge support system behind me... but I feel as though. I'll never return to being happy and careless again...
I just wake up and I feel sick and sad and hopeless... For hours I'll cry. But sometimes I just feel like i'm losing control...
I'm not on any medication at the moment. And I try a lot of self talk but it doesn't seem to work for long.
I just want to know... If these weird pains are all in my head...? And if they're nothing to worry about...? Because right now. My brain has me fully convinced that I'm not okay. Or that something bad is gunna happen to me...
I'm 18 years old. and I have severe health anxiety. So I freak out over every little thing I feel in my body. If my head feels weird I think it's a brain tumor. If my chest starts to hurt I think it's a heart attack. I haven't been able to leave my bed a lot. It's been hard for me to eat. Its been hard for me to sleep. My arms ache and are tingly. I wake up in fear. My mom has been living in my room with me for the past month. And I do nothing but cry all day. I fear the worst. My mind makes up these ridiculous excuses for why I'm feeling the way I feel. I'm always scared i'm gunna die. I'm scared to lose my boyfriend. I've had a hard time going to school. And I fear for my future. I'm a senior in high school and I'm almost in jeopardy of not graduating. I'm scared i'll never be able to live my life normally again.
Because I used to live a perfectly fine life... I was able to get up. Go to school. I was able to go and do things. But now. Everything has become so hard. I have felt as though I've become worthless. I don't know what to do...
I started therapy. But I haven't really gotten to far into it...
But it's the physical stuff that really holds me back from getting better. I'll have weird head feelings. My brain will feel foggy. My arms will hurt. My neck will feel weird. My throat will feel weird...
I talk to my aunt who is a doctor. And she'll tell me it's a migraine. Or anxiety. And it's hard for me to get my head around the fact that all i=of this could actually be anxiety... Just because the pains are so weird and foreign to me... I have a huge support system behind me... but I feel as though. I'll never return to being happy and careless again...
I just wake up and I feel sick and sad and hopeless... For hours I'll cry. But sometimes I just feel like i'm losing control...
I'm not on any medication at the moment. And I try a lot of self talk but it doesn't seem to work for long.
I just want to know... If these weird pains are all in my head...? And if they're nothing to worry about...? Because right now. My brain has me fully convinced that I'm not okay. Or that something bad is gunna happen to me...