Minimoonshine
16-02-14, 14:03
So last year I had a massive breakdown. I have has GAD and depression for over 10 years, mainly health anxiety. Terrified of doctors and hospitals, convinced I had every horrible disease. I managed to avoid having any blood tests my whole life until last year. It was hell, but I got through it. Waiting for those results was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Anyway, my results were fine apart from having high cholesterol. I am now of course obsessed with heart disease :/
I was on Escitalopram for 10 years, but my GP suggested changing to Sertraline, as the former clearly wasnt doing its job. The first month or so with the change-over was horrific. This forum helped me so much when I had all the nasty side effects. I did start to feel much better eventually, able to take on more work (I work freelance). I have some really exciting projects coming up this year.
Now, almost a year later I feel as though I am having a relapse. I was doing so well. I changed my diet, quit smoking etc, but around November I started being 'naughty' again. I guess I felt well enough to take a few risks. Anyway, long story short, I have been feeling really low again, my anxiety symptoms are back and I feel like I could slip back down into the abyss.
I have been reading that alchohol can effect sertraline and I had a couple of glasses of prosecco the other night, so I am guessing maybe that could be making it worse. I also feel as though whenever I get my period, my anxiety comes back again. Does anyone else find this when they come on?
I also confess that I have been smoking weed again. I smoked for about 2 years every day before the breakdown last year, because it really was the only thing that curbed my anxiety and helped me deal with insomnia and aches and pains associated with anxiety. But I quit cold turkey after my breakdown, determined to cut any 'sunstances' out of my life. But of course once you start to feel better and happy again, you feel you can handle stuff. So I started smoking weed again. Not every day, but regularly. I stopped again a few days ago cos i just feel sometimes it hightens my anxiety and I know I shouldnt be having the tobacco.
God, this has turned into way more of a rant than I intented, but there is just so much going on in my head. I have been going to an amazing therapist for 6 months, and I have made some progress, but I am so scared of going backwards again.
Does anyone else ever feel that they are never meant to be happy? Its like no matter what I do, I am just always going to be ill. Just feel so low and anxious and I dont want to ruin my job prospects because I cant face the world again :(
I was on Escitalopram for 10 years, but my GP suggested changing to Sertraline, as the former clearly wasnt doing its job. The first month or so with the change-over was horrific. This forum helped me so much when I had all the nasty side effects. I did start to feel much better eventually, able to take on more work (I work freelance). I have some really exciting projects coming up this year.
Now, almost a year later I feel as though I am having a relapse. I was doing so well. I changed my diet, quit smoking etc, but around November I started being 'naughty' again. I guess I felt well enough to take a few risks. Anyway, long story short, I have been feeling really low again, my anxiety symptoms are back and I feel like I could slip back down into the abyss.
I have been reading that alchohol can effect sertraline and I had a couple of glasses of prosecco the other night, so I am guessing maybe that could be making it worse. I also feel as though whenever I get my period, my anxiety comes back again. Does anyone else find this when they come on?
I also confess that I have been smoking weed again. I smoked for about 2 years every day before the breakdown last year, because it really was the only thing that curbed my anxiety and helped me deal with insomnia and aches and pains associated with anxiety. But I quit cold turkey after my breakdown, determined to cut any 'sunstances' out of my life. But of course once you start to feel better and happy again, you feel you can handle stuff. So I started smoking weed again. Not every day, but regularly. I stopped again a few days ago cos i just feel sometimes it hightens my anxiety and I know I shouldnt be having the tobacco.
God, this has turned into way more of a rant than I intented, but there is just so much going on in my head. I have been going to an amazing therapist for 6 months, and I have made some progress, but I am so scared of going backwards again.
Does anyone else ever feel that they are never meant to be happy? Its like no matter what I do, I am just always going to be ill. Just feel so low and anxious and I dont want to ruin my job prospects because I cant face the world again :(