harasgenster
16-02-14, 15:32
I'm very anxious about this but I'm sure there's another way I could look at it to calm down.
My brother's ex and I are friends. She told me a concerning secret, which I kept quiet for a month.
Last night, me, my brother and her were drinking together and she was behaving erratically and upset. After she'd gone I told my brother I was really worried and when he kept asking why I, slightly drunk, reasoned I could trust him and shared so I could talk it through.
The problem is the first person he is going to tell is his girlfriend and I don't trust her an inch. She is manipulative and has in the past done things that make me think she enjoys hurting the girl whose secret I was supposed to keep.
I feel absolutely awful now. I've tried calling my brother to make him promise he will not tell his girlfriend, but he isn't answering. I feel like such a complete failure as a friend and I'm incredibly worried it will get back to her that I shared her secret. Not just because I would lose a friend, but because she is in a frail state of mind and this would be horrible for her.
EDIT
In good news, my brother finally texted back and told me he obviously won't tell anyone, but I still feel like a total failure and a bad person. That could have gone horribly wrong. I guess I just hope someone can tell me its human to do this kind of thing? I'm so angry with myself!
Gah, I keep thinking this over and there are so many other things I could have said instead of telling the whole truth. I could have just told him that some of my conversations with her had left me worried but that I didn't feel it was my place to share. He would have accepted that. I can't believe I was such a massive idiot! I keep questioning my motives as well. Did I tell because I wanted to talk it through (I regretted it immediately when I saw how worried he was about it) or did I just want to share the gossip? I feel so incredibly ashamed. I don't really know how to put my techniques for distress into practice when something is definitely my own fault.
My brother's ex and I are friends. She told me a concerning secret, which I kept quiet for a month.
Last night, me, my brother and her were drinking together and she was behaving erratically and upset. After she'd gone I told my brother I was really worried and when he kept asking why I, slightly drunk, reasoned I could trust him and shared so I could talk it through.
The problem is the first person he is going to tell is his girlfriend and I don't trust her an inch. She is manipulative and has in the past done things that make me think she enjoys hurting the girl whose secret I was supposed to keep.
I feel absolutely awful now. I've tried calling my brother to make him promise he will not tell his girlfriend, but he isn't answering. I feel like such a complete failure as a friend and I'm incredibly worried it will get back to her that I shared her secret. Not just because I would lose a friend, but because she is in a frail state of mind and this would be horrible for her.
EDIT
In good news, my brother finally texted back and told me he obviously won't tell anyone, but I still feel like a total failure and a bad person. That could have gone horribly wrong. I guess I just hope someone can tell me its human to do this kind of thing? I'm so angry with myself!
Gah, I keep thinking this over and there are so many other things I could have said instead of telling the whole truth. I could have just told him that some of my conversations with her had left me worried but that I didn't feel it was my place to share. He would have accepted that. I can't believe I was such a massive idiot! I keep questioning my motives as well. Did I tell because I wanted to talk it through (I regretted it immediately when I saw how worried he was about it) or did I just want to share the gossip? I feel so incredibly ashamed. I don't really know how to put my techniques for distress into practice when something is definitely my own fault.