cloutir
22-11-06, 23:39
i hope this helps you.
my name is ross i live in a town just outside of the grand old city of london.
some people may say i have a problem or too and they would be right you see my life has really been a self destructive spiral
gripping and grabbing for anyone one or anything to slow me from spinning out of regular existance. people, jobs familly drugs booze all have witch i have
used as my own personall crutch and always blamed for the things and events that happened to me over the years.
how wrong was i and i wondered what was getting me so down, none of those things were but myself was. no sob stories please. ok im not going off on a self
obsessed rant about ''oh i could have been so good'' instead i just want to explain to myself if any what happened.
its all about what your thinking day to day really the neg or the plus. no goals no ambition gives you a neg and obviously attracts alot of negative things
your way. i do that alot thinking negative about every thing especially other peoples thoughts about myself it really gets me down. i got to the point about
a year ago i thought i was going mad i mean seriously crazy. i swear everybody was laughing at the pitifull mess i had become.
i couldnt speak to anybody with out giving away signs of my own weakness body language was a big key. i though everybody was a regular ****ing houdini reading my mind
what was i thinking? she/he thinks im scum they dont want to talk to me there better than me. now being humble is a good thing but that. thats not humble
my self confidence was suffering a tottal complete depletion i wanted to keep my eyes shut so i couldnt see or hear anyone or anything. i wasnt looking at
what i had i dont mean what i owned because thats really not much but who loved me and what i was doing every day. thats means more than anything. i was living
not for myself but the people around me a stranger in a shop a face in the street.
i wrote this a year ago i was just coming out of the terrible condition i was in. i lived day by day and it slowly improved through three things mind ,lifestyle and love.
illl explain my mind was set on the negative only you can change this is what i realized theres no mind wiping technique or person that can do this for you. you have to change your own perceptions and cancell the neg. think about each day as it comes.
lifestyle this is directly related freinds social groups and habits. all of these created a bad impression on my persona. dont drink as much smoke weed/cigs and choose your friends wisely mine helped me i was lucky but its at times like this you realize who your real friends really are. i feel i have come out the other side a better person in personality and my common perceptions on life and people.
and love familly are the only thing in life you can truly rely on they will always be there what ever happens so appreichiate them and love them no matter what because there love helps pull you through. i hope you all have a wonderfull and special life dont think to much keep it simple. peace
my name is ross i live in a town just outside of the grand old city of london.
some people may say i have a problem or too and they would be right you see my life has really been a self destructive spiral
gripping and grabbing for anyone one or anything to slow me from spinning out of regular existance. people, jobs familly drugs booze all have witch i have
used as my own personall crutch and always blamed for the things and events that happened to me over the years.
how wrong was i and i wondered what was getting me so down, none of those things were but myself was. no sob stories please. ok im not going off on a self
obsessed rant about ''oh i could have been so good'' instead i just want to explain to myself if any what happened.
its all about what your thinking day to day really the neg or the plus. no goals no ambition gives you a neg and obviously attracts alot of negative things
your way. i do that alot thinking negative about every thing especially other peoples thoughts about myself it really gets me down. i got to the point about
a year ago i thought i was going mad i mean seriously crazy. i swear everybody was laughing at the pitifull mess i had become.
i couldnt speak to anybody with out giving away signs of my own weakness body language was a big key. i though everybody was a regular ****ing houdini reading my mind
what was i thinking? she/he thinks im scum they dont want to talk to me there better than me. now being humble is a good thing but that. thats not humble
my self confidence was suffering a tottal complete depletion i wanted to keep my eyes shut so i couldnt see or hear anyone or anything. i wasnt looking at
what i had i dont mean what i owned because thats really not much but who loved me and what i was doing every day. thats means more than anything. i was living
not for myself but the people around me a stranger in a shop a face in the street.
i wrote this a year ago i was just coming out of the terrible condition i was in. i lived day by day and it slowly improved through three things mind ,lifestyle and love.
illl explain my mind was set on the negative only you can change this is what i realized theres no mind wiping technique or person that can do this for you. you have to change your own perceptions and cancell the neg. think about each day as it comes.
lifestyle this is directly related freinds social groups and habits. all of these created a bad impression on my persona. dont drink as much smoke weed/cigs and choose your friends wisely mine helped me i was lucky but its at times like this you realize who your real friends really are. i feel i have come out the other side a better person in personality and my common perceptions on life and people.
and love familly are the only thing in life you can truly rely on they will always be there what ever happens so appreichiate them and love them no matter what because there love helps pull you through. i hope you all have a wonderfull and special life dont think to much keep it simple. peace