Scared of... life?

[AnxiousPansa]

Hi everyone
I was just wondering if anyone has suffered from this. Basically I have quite a big fear of death/afterlife which has cropped up pretty bad over past few days but right now I have a fear of well life? Like I don't understand it. I keep thinking well why are we here? what is the point? what if its something bad? like everything just feels wrong and scary and I know deep down its anxiety but its really horrible. Im struggling to enjoy anything because I just keep thinking well whats the point? Its almost like the thought of life scares me. But the thought of death also scares so basically im scared :L Im only 16 so could this be a combination of my anxiety and my age? I just feel really strange and im scared im going mad because I find everything hostile like a bad dream and I just feel detached and just dreadful. Any help would me much appreciated thanks.
Pansa x

[mgw]

Hi :) think I can relate a lot to what your saying, i'm 21 so a bit older than you. I've always especially over the last year been terrified of dying to the point I convince myself I have illnesses etc, terrified about the whole idea of death. In terms of life I also find it scary, for me it's really hard to explain, sort of like it's all really confusing, don't understand what's going on or why, just find it really hard to accept anything as normal. I have episodes daily where this gets extreme, an I experience massive detachment from everything, meaning everything around me and also in myself. Best way I can explain it is an overwhelming fear of nothing in particular but just everything just feeling so wierd! This makes me feel like in going mad or my minds not working. Have a look at depersonalization and derealization as I think that fits with me.. My counsellor told me it's caused by constant inward thinking mixed in with adrenaline etc so yep down to anxiety! Hope this helps you x

[Minimoonshine]

Aw Pansa I really feel for you, and I can totally identify with everything you are saying. Its a very trapping feeling, because you dont want to move for fear of something bad happening, but equally you know if you dont move you will continue to be afraid. I believe it can stem from insecurities and a lack of self worth. I feel all the time that I will never be happy, that I dont deserve it etc etc. I fear being afraid. I see people going through horrible life traumas and wonder when is it my turn? why should I be a lucky one? This stops me living my life. Living inside our heads is the hardest thing to try and shift. I also find, when I am going through a better phase (which I do have) I cant remember what it feels like to be so down and anxious... Then it will will just hit me again and Im back in the pit. I dont think there is one answer, I think we just have to find our own ways, but I do know that you just need to try baby steps. Dont expect a massive change overnight, but take each day as it comes and do you best to try and LIVE. Distract yourself with activities that take your mind somewhere else. Try and find someone who you can explain things to and who will just be there for you and understand with no judgement. Anxiety and depression are doubly hard to deal with as they are invisible to other people, so it is important that we have at least one person who we know we can vent to. Anyway, I hope you can find some comfort in reading posts on here, I certainly have. Lots of love and hugs xxxxxxxxx

[SarahH]

Pansa,

I really think you should go to an adult you trust (parent, teacher vicar) and tell them how you are feeling.
I have worked with young people feeling just as you do now....it is a very common phase of growing up (i dont mean that to be patronising). I remember feeling exactly as you do now when I was in my teens.

Please tell someone how you feel.

Sarah