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View Full Version : Sorry me again, feeling so low



Jem27
23-11-06, 09:07
I saw my GP yesterday to get the forms for the hiv and syhilis test. I am having it done monday and he said the results will take about a week, how on earth am I going to wait a week?[V] I am dreading ringing for the result, esp as its a receptionist I will be asking for the result. Do you think I should make an appointment and get the results from him? im too scared to ring up plus I don't want them knowing what im ringing for as I have to face these women, they live in my area.

The dr said he had to give me a degree of counselling but said in my case as the sex was only once, it didn't finish (sorry tmi) and we do not know if this man has hiv or not its just me panicking then he said it will be 'ultimatly negative' I said 'I hope so' and he replied with 'it will be honestly, do not lose any sleep over this now'

I am so scared today because in the last few weeks ive not been feeling too good health wise and of course after reading about early hiv symptoms appearing in the first 2-6 weeks after infection im worrying I have some of them. Its 6 weeks tomorrow and in the last 2 weeks ive had very achy legs esp in the morning and evenings, im worn out, I feel sick and I had that virus which dr thought was my sinuses but obviously wasn't as the ct scan showed it was normal. Today though ive woken up with a raised gland in my neck and one on the back of my head, which is quite sore and about pea size. Ive never had one up there before. My throat feels abit raw like im going to get a cough or sore throat. I have 3 children all ill with a bad cold and cough, my 4 yr old son also has an ear infection so why can't I just think ive caught something from them and thats why my glands are up abit???:(

I was stupid to google hiv and read that fluey symptoms, sore throats, raised glands, aching limbs etc... are early signs because now I have some of them im absolutly petrified, this morning ive had to hold the tears back and I am absolutly drained, my children are ill and my baby is awake alot with her cold and she has had a temp for 3 nights after her mmr last week. In the last month id say a good night is 4 hours sleep and thats abit broken!! This week I had 90 mins on monday night, 4 hours tuesday night and 3 hours last night. I ache all over esp my legs, could tiredness really make my legs ache so much?

I am so upset and scared, also angry at myself for being so friggin stupid and getting myself in this mess, ive had 6 weeks from hell and now im imagining having hiv, dying and not seeing my children grow up. I don't know how I will cope with it if I do have it:( My dr has told me the risk is 1% and thats if the person has HIV to start with, he said its very difficult to catch and esp in my case as the sex didn't finish so less fluids or something. He also gives blood every 4 mths but how do I know he hasnt contracted it since. All my swabs were normal so I should be reassured he is clean but im frightened.

Sorry to post again, I have noone to turn to right now about this.

miff
23-11-06, 09:25
i trod on a needle last year while walking through a park and freaked out for three months waiting to get tested for everything, I started having symptoms of everything but it all turned out good accept for a lot of added stress.Your results will be good too
you have better chances at winning the lottery than catching any of these things.
chin up

Jem27
23-11-06, 09:28
Thank you Miff, its really scary isn't it. Its my own fault though in my case and I feel terrible for what ive done:-(

My dr said 6 weeks will give a result thats reliable so I have to trust it I guess.

Thanks.

LauraC
23-11-06, 10:37
Hey there. I had the hiv test done a week before i was due to give birth for personal reasons, however, they rushed it through and I got it back by five that night. May be you could ask them to mark it as a priority if you explain how worried you are? xx


Laura x

Jem27
23-11-06, 10:42
Thanks Laura,

My full blood count always comes back quick, usually within 24 hours so maybe this will come back as quick. I am going to go and see my dr next wednesday, thats 2 days after the test and see if he can ring the lab if the results are not back. It will be much better for me to be with him to get the results.

Thanks hun.

lass
23-11-06, 10:54
You poor thing, you are absolutely knackered, no wonder you are feeling so low. Anxiety is always at its worse when you're tired. Of course it makes sense that all your symptoms are due to anxiety and whatever cold-bug your kiddies have. But you are destroying yourself with the "what ifs" which we all do (otherwise we wouldn't be on here!).

They must have a confidential service in place for HIV tests. When you go back for your blood test, ask them what the normal procedure is, and ask if you could phone your GP direct rather than go through the reception staff. I'm sure they will be happy with that.

I'm also sure you are worrying unnecessarily, as it is such a low risk for you, but having said that, I know in your shoes I would react exactly the same. When I had my bowel screening blood tests I burst into tears, then was in an absolutely awful state for the next 3 weeks til I got my results, I was so scared and so sure that they would find something. They didn't.

Also, if you can't help but look at the worst possible scenario, you have to realise that nowadays people live with HIV for many many years before they get ill. There are excellent drug treatments now, it's not like it was when AIDS was first diagnosed.

But in reality, the chances of catching other STDs are much higher and if everything else has come back ok then your risk really is very very low.

Can someone have your kids for a while and let you have a long bath and a bit of a sleep? You need a bit of time for you, to recharge your batteries.

Try to stay positive, keep talking to people on here, the wait will seem like forever but you will be so relieved when it's all over. I'm always around if you want to PM or email me.

And stop googling!!!

Take care,
Caroline
xx

Jem27
23-11-06, 11:04
Thanks Caroline:-)

I shall pm u, thanks so much for listening.