Charlotteee89
19-02-14, 00:26
I'm 24 years old now & ever since I was around 13 years old I suffered from Social Anxiety, mainly over my weight (because I'm so slim) & a mole I had on my face (finally got it removed 2 years ago), I got bullied for both at School so became very shy & insecure & barely did anything for years, even the thought of going out the house where people will be filled me with severe anxiety.
Most of that finally went away when I got my mole removed but I am still pretty shy & insecure which never really bothered me tbh.
Well it didn't.. Until now. I've developed a more generalized Anxiety disorder for the last several months & it's got a hell of alot worse since last week when I had a massive panic attack out of the blue that set off all sorts of thoughts & feelings that I've never had before.. Completely threw me & since then I've had OCD intrusive thoughts day in day out.
It's getting to the point where even at work when I'm around people I'm thinking to myself "Do they actually like me? Or care about me?" "Do I even have any real friends at work?" I've got a relatively good social life since starting work last year. & Then the more OCD type intrusive thoughts billow into my head like "Would they even care if I died?" Which make me really freak out & make me feel even more low that I even have those thoughts - they're driving me mad.
I'm starting to think those questions I'm asking myself are actually intrusive/obsessional thoughts also - Could that be? I've never questioned anything like that until last week when I had an awful time with my anxiety & I think those thoughts I had whilst having severe panic attacks have stayed rooted in my head. :weep:
Anyone else have this? How to overcome it? I've noticed it's alot worse at night (I work evenings at a supermarket) when I'm tired & fed up (I have iron deficiency anemia) & feeling pretty crappy. (My anemia symptoms get worse throughout the day.) So maybe those thoughts are coming into my head when I'm feeling vulnerable? Like an automatic reaction or something.
x
Most of that finally went away when I got my mole removed but I am still pretty shy & insecure which never really bothered me tbh.
Well it didn't.. Until now. I've developed a more generalized Anxiety disorder for the last several months & it's got a hell of alot worse since last week when I had a massive panic attack out of the blue that set off all sorts of thoughts & feelings that I've never had before.. Completely threw me & since then I've had OCD intrusive thoughts day in day out.
It's getting to the point where even at work when I'm around people I'm thinking to myself "Do they actually like me? Or care about me?" "Do I even have any real friends at work?" I've got a relatively good social life since starting work last year. & Then the more OCD type intrusive thoughts billow into my head like "Would they even care if I died?" Which make me really freak out & make me feel even more low that I even have those thoughts - they're driving me mad.
I'm starting to think those questions I'm asking myself are actually intrusive/obsessional thoughts also - Could that be? I've never questioned anything like that until last week when I had an awful time with my anxiety & I think those thoughts I had whilst having severe panic attacks have stayed rooted in my head. :weep:
Anyone else have this? How to overcome it? I've noticed it's alot worse at night (I work evenings at a supermarket) when I'm tired & fed up (I have iron deficiency anemia) & feeling pretty crappy. (My anemia symptoms get worse throughout the day.) So maybe those thoughts are coming into my head when I'm feeling vulnerable? Like an automatic reaction or something.
x