View Full Version : Next time someone really deflates you, read this....
I just read this and I have to say that it's really worth remembering.....
Do not let anyone become a vacuum
and suck the happiness out of you.....
Pull the plug
My life experience is such that if you are around negative people, they will suck the life out of you. I have found to my cost before that its so easy to get caught up in other peoples negativity...... But don't let them.... Because you are better than that, believe me being happy and content comes from hard work sometimes. It doesn't necessarily drop in your lap.
I have had to work hard to stay cheerful and I am trying so hard at the moment not to let some stuff with my work and family drag me down. I don't want that to happen, I really don't. It's like driving to and from work, I try not to "mix it" with other drivers, to be in too much of a rush. Otherwise their bad temper rubs off on you. I hate it when I realise someone's managed to get right under my skin. It's so not worth it but they seem to manage to get to me without me realising til it's too late.
Or like at work, things are very very busy and stressful. I am trying to keep a life/work balance at the moment and also remain cheerful. It's not easy sometimes, especially when sometimes I might be on the end of someone else's bad temper. But one thing I do know is that if I don't always try to be cheerful, I for one will feel worse. So that's why I do my best to keep at it.
Sometimes when u least feel like interacting with people, it can be the best thing for you, but obviously try to pick positive people. Just remember don't let the bad ones drag u down. I wanted to say all this to remind me as much as anyone else that even if it's hard work, don't give in... We are all worth better than that.
So if u feel someone sucking the life and happiness out of you..... Pull that plug.
MRS STRESS ED
19-02-14, 22:33
Tessar this is so right great post ,I had someone in work being very rude to me today they said a very personal comment about me in front of other staff ,I kept smiling and chatting as if she had not bothered me ,inside I was hurt but I stayed positive and happy for the rest of my day ,I suppose I sort of pulled the plug on her xx
well, I feel knackered today. really really tired. and why? coz I had a stressful and busy week at work. I just came across this and it's reminded me how other people do suck the life and happiness out of you. its the weekend and i'd like to enjoy it but I feel so tired I am struggling to get going. I will get going I know but just wanted to remind myself that the next time my manager shouts across the office at me in a strop (I did stand up to her) that she's the one with issues. and even tho after having to stand up to her I felt quite upset (it shouldn't be necessary to stand up to rude people because they shouldn't be rude in the first place) I know I was strong & did everything I could not to let her get to me.
so today I am trying to leave behind a rubbish week and move on.
next week I will continue standing up to my manage and anyone else who has thought it ok to walk all over me. they have no right to do that and even if it takes a lot of my strength to stand up to them, that's what I am going to do.
then, one day, after standing up to people becomes more natural, it wont take so much of my energy to do it. then I can enjoy life more because I have energy to do fun things.
A great post Tessar and one that I really need to hear. I have always let people walk all over me and suck the happiness out of me but not any more. This leopard is going to change its spots and stand up for myself! We can do this :-)
It was the same for me when I was working full time.
If I had my time over again. I would have stuck up for myself as I got the blame for everything.
When my boss retired we had a dinner to celebrate his retirement.
He never stopped telling me how sorry he was for the way I was treated.
So he new he new he was in the wrong all the time.
A great post Tessar and one that I really need to hear. I have always let people walk all over me and suck the happiness out of me but not any more. This leopard is going to change its spots and stand up for myself! We can do this :-)
Yes we can and we will!!!!!
---------- Post added at 12:34 ---------- Previous post was at 12:21 ----------
It was the same for me when I was working full time.
If I had my time over again. I would have stuck up for myself as I got the blame for everything.
When my boss retired we had a dinner to celebrate his retirement.
He never stopped telling me how sorry he was for the way I was treated.
So he new he new he was in the wrong all the time.
There are too many people like your ex-boss in the world..... And how sad they they weren't able to do the decent thing when still your boss......
It really pains me when people in a position to make a difference, shirk their responsibility and don't do anything because it gives them a quieter life.
They are too fearful or focused on themselves to consider the damage being done to someone who isn't able to defend themselves.....
I tell you this Magic, if I had been around I would have tried to stop it.... I find it much easier to step in and protect others.... Easier than doing it for myself even.
But now I AM doing it for myself & knowing everyone here is behind me really helps.
Great post:)...My Psych once told me to remember.... we can't change other peoples behaviour but we can change our reaction to it.......... that was 10 years ago and it has stuck with me..........I have a "happiness sucking" mother:D
Sarah
Great post:)...My Psych once told me to remember.... we can't change other peoples behaviour but we can change our reaction to it.......... that was 10 years ago and it has stuck with me..........I have a "happiness sucking" mother:D Sarah
Sarah I agree about adjusting reactions to others behaviour. Are you able to keep up your defences when around your mother? It's not easy at the best of times to stand up to people or not allow them to suck your energy.... When it's family it's even harder if you can't avoid their company.
It has taken me years to alter my reactions when people are abrupt with me, Especially when it's something ongoing on day after day. I am in a position with my family now where I can sort of stick out a hand & say enough's enough. I don't feel that I am being disrespectful anymore. I know I am within my rights to protect myself & that people (no matter who they are) should respect me.
i have finally had more success recently & instead of dissolving into an emotional blubber... i am beginning to feel able to say what needs saying instead of feeling too scared.
It does wear you down but you do become more able to bite back or be assertive. This weekend I feel exhausted & I am sure it's like an emotional tiredness from having to really stand up to people. At work it came to a head on thursday. I am surprised how much it's taken out of me but in the end I know it's 100% worth it.
I often would get hime & wish i had been stronger but at least today i can sit here knowing I stood my ground even if it wore me down. I was able to dig my heels in rather than cave in.
Be strong everybody coz it's worth it, people say "you are stronger than you know" & it's true.
Mum is a negative Nelly... and believes she is allowed to have an opinion about everything I do my life!!!! I am the youngest of three and 49 years old........incredible:doh:
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