anxiety and depression hell, cannot control how I feel

[danniboi]

Hello all I have been battling with anxiety for now over 5 years and it's causing so much stress in my life.
I don't want to go out anymore, I've quit jobs because of this,bloody good well paid jobs aswell.
I'm currantly in a rut, I get serious blushing or flushing when I'm stressed embarrassed angry anxious or even a slightest thought of something I become flustered.
I've been to doctors about this and no matter what they just don't really care.
Not just that I've recently moved back home to my mother's house which I hate as she hasn't a well paid job and currantly just about scraping through yet I'm back home with no job and cannot afford much so that is stressing me out in itself, I'm a single lad of 24 and just want to live a normal happy life but I'm constantly held back by this flushing and serious stress I'm going through. Which to.some people it isn't even bad to others situations but I just hate me my life the way I feel.

My dad committed suicide when I was 14 and that has sort of killed me inside as we was quite close and never really come to terms with this I don't think, I'm just getting yelled at by my mum as all she goes on about is me getting of my arse and get a job I need rent money,which obviously causing me more stress because I know this.life is so.hard for us youngsters you only get housed if u got kids or homeless these days it's a ****ing joke.
I hate my mum and tbh my life soon I'm going to.end up doing what my dad done because I cannot take much more of this life.
Sometimes I.feel ok and then she will say something to make me feel ****ing useless again I ****ing hate myself and wish my.father was here because he would know what to.do.

[Mkw29]

Hey...just read your post, I know how life changing & heartbreaking it can be to lose your
dad.i lost my dad really suddenly and tbh I don't think you ever get over it. The way your feeling is perfectly normal..don't give yourself such a hard time.

The flushes etc are so annoying, I used to get these accompanied by a racing heart. Deep breaths helped me. Silly question but have you ever seen a doctor about it?

Life is tough I agree, especially for the current generation, but life is also too short and
You may be living with your mum now but it won't be forever...I lived with my grandparents for 3 months when I had no where to go and it was awful but things changed for me shortly after! You just don't know what's round the corner

Stay strong x

---------- Post added at 23:40 ---------- Previous post was at 23:37 ----------

Ahhh just seen that you've been to the docs...they don't always listen, granted.
The only other thing is to get referral for counselling they may teach you techniques to help with the flushes.

[danniboi]

Thank you :-) i very much appreciate your reply to this, that is very true i will try to keep telling nyself life is too short as it really is your right :-)
Ive been going gym alot to release endorphins as it makes me feel happy and good about myself :-) also eating right and trying to be a nicer person and stop taking out my problems on shouting at others as sometimes i cannot control it when i get upset or angry.

Im a nice guy just got a few issues, who hasnt lol.
I found a job that was great money and now 2 days ago i.got dropped, so frustrating being in and out of work, even tho i say about losing jobs i have actually worked most my life, but loss of job and money is route to even more stress.

Im really gratefull for your reply and hopefully your right and something to turn me around is just round the corner :-)
Ive just applied to be a trainee prison officer to help young offenders as i feel i can relate to peoples problems and feel i can help knowing ive seen and been involved in.
Crime is definetly the answer as prison will ruin your life.

Not that ive been prison but seen people go there when they just have had a terrible upbringing amd are basically screaming for help but all they do is lock em up for making nieve mistakes.
Anyway enough of me sorry lol

Wish you all the best aswell and hopefully we will all become a success :-) xx

---------- Post added at 01:39 ---------- Previous post was at 01:36 ----------

And yea my heart races aswell uncontrolably when flustered stressed angry well most emations really :doh:

[inCOGnito]

Have you ever considered the possibility that it's the very act of trying to control these things that causes the suffering?

[ankietyjoe]

Have you ever considered the possibility that it's the very act of trying to control these things that causes the suffering?

This is key

The fact is that there is no way to control anxiety or depression. You can only control your response to it.

Merely accepting that it's there is the first step to beating it.

I would strongly suggest reading up on meditation and mindfulness, which I've found to be the only true solution to anxiety and depression.