Tanner40
20-02-14, 12:15
Good Morning to all. As Too Much would say, that darned dragon has been circling my house and peering in my windows. The last few days I've had more physical symptoms and mini-anxiety attacks than I have had in many months. I am accepting them as anxiety, albeit not as successfully as I have been. Perfectionism rearing it's ugly head again.
A great example is two nights ago I woke up with an almost Charley horse type of cramp in my left foot. It never became an all out cramp. It has now been tight, tender and sore for two days. I about worked myself into a frenzy thinking I had a DVT or a spontaneous ruptured tendon from taking antibiotics for my back. I even googled. Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh.
It took awhile of journaling and applying CBT type thinking before I managed to calm myself down. If I'm totally honest, the foot problem causes are still in the back of my mind. Now that's just down right silly since every single muscle in my body is extremely tense and tight. so many tendons, ligaments and muscles in my foot. No reason those shouldn't be tight too.
The good news around my family just keeps piling up. My partner' Mother just had an MRI and found out that the bone in her leg has spontaneously died. She is going to have to have a total knee replacement. She is 78, diabetic, overweight and has already had one stroke. So my partner will probably have to go to Atlanta for several weeks to a mont to care for her Mother. I'm not sure how I will continue to take care of my Dad,three dogs, my Dad's dog, a kitten and household, while holding down a more than full time job all on my own.
I have to get a handle on the things that I can control and give up worrying about the things that I can't control.
Also, March is coming, which is traditionally the worst month for my anxiety. This is an entire separate post for later, but suffice to say that every single woman on my Mom's side of the family, for four generations back, has died during the month of March.
Again, I have to get hold of the things that I can control and let go of those I can't.
A great example is two nights ago I woke up with an almost Charley horse type of cramp in my left foot. It never became an all out cramp. It has now been tight, tender and sore for two days. I about worked myself into a frenzy thinking I had a DVT or a spontaneous ruptured tendon from taking antibiotics for my back. I even googled. Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh.
It took awhile of journaling and applying CBT type thinking before I managed to calm myself down. If I'm totally honest, the foot problem causes are still in the back of my mind. Now that's just down right silly since every single muscle in my body is extremely tense and tight. so many tendons, ligaments and muscles in my foot. No reason those shouldn't be tight too.
The good news around my family just keeps piling up. My partner' Mother just had an MRI and found out that the bone in her leg has spontaneously died. She is going to have to have a total knee replacement. She is 78, diabetic, overweight and has already had one stroke. So my partner will probably have to go to Atlanta for several weeks to a mont to care for her Mother. I'm not sure how I will continue to take care of my Dad,three dogs, my Dad's dog, a kitten and household, while holding down a more than full time job all on my own.
I have to get a handle on the things that I can control and give up worrying about the things that I can't control.
Also, March is coming, which is traditionally the worst month for my anxiety. This is an entire separate post for later, but suffice to say that every single woman on my Mom's side of the family, for four generations back, has died during the month of March.
Again, I have to get hold of the things that I can control and let go of those I can't.