Any other mums out there with crippling anxiety

[Stacz123]

Hi, I'm a mum of 3. Have 3 boys aged 5, 3 and 6 months. All I do I long to be a good mum to them and not be anxious when on my own with them watching the clock until my husband is home.

My anxious has been so bad lately i have started on citrpram, been on them 2 n half week and not feeling any better if anything worse but might be co sits half term and after spending hours on here I no iv got to stick to them.

Any other mummies out there struggling. Id love to no I'm not alone.

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It also appears I'm struggling to spell

[WhyWhyWhy]

Hi hun, me :) I've got one child who is nearly 9 and my anxiety is through the roof. You're not alone. if you ever wanna chat I'm here :) x

[LeFi_81]

Hallo Stacz,

My anxiety reached such a point that I could not bear to be with my children. I can relate to how anxious you are, checking the time the whole day, to wait for your husband to come home.

Do you have some neighbors/family/friends that can help with the children? I have utter respect for any mother and you have 3 very small children.

My daughter is now 5 and my son 2 years. I love them and feel as if I fail at not always being myself and depending on others for help.

You will find some other mothers and fathers here.

I wish you a calm and easy day further! :flowers:

[Stacz123]

Thank you for the reply.

Can I ask how you are now and what you did to overcome this terrible feeling.

All I long to do in life is be a good mum and long to enjoy taking them to the park seeing there gorgeous happy smiles instead of dread. Not a great deal of friends and mum and husband both work long hours but help whenever they can.

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I long to not want the help and just cope on my own. They are good kids and no trouble

[LeFi_81]

Well to be honest these feelings are very new to me. Had a "breakdown" after experiencing panic attacks daily for about a month at the end of January. Fortunately I have already had contact through my husband to a very good psychologist and she saw me immediately. Also reading the books from Claire Weekes helped and of course, reading and posting here in NMP.

What gets me through a day?

NOT having my children around me 24hours. Trust me, I want to. They are my angels and sometimes it feels as if my heart is running outside of my body when I look at them. BUT I am not Superwoman. My self assigned ambitions of being the supermom had me at breakpoint. Now I ask for help. Our neighbor takes my son for an hour or two when my daughter is in Kindergarten. Then I read, medidate or go for a walk alone (Before end of January I would have used this time to do house chores!!!)

By the time I collect them I am feeling quite stable. It does unfortunately not take much for me to experience traces of anxiety. But as one of the great other Mommies here on NMP once posted, you can take care of the washing with trembling hands, you can wash baby bottles even though your head is spinning or your heart is thumping like a heard of gazelles.

So apart from caring for my own needs better, I also push through and focus on the smaller things at hand. All the time striving to set up small oasis for myself. If I do not feel good, I just do not take the kids to the park. I know it is selfish but I need time some days. Also, I nap during the afternoon. I let the kids watch a dvd :blush: In the end, I have to be in good health and spirit to be able to be a better mommy. It took me a long time to reach this point.

My family lives in South Africa, but I left my home country to start a life with my German husband. So our support network is also not without complications. Therefore I had a hard time accepting help of friends.

I think you are doing a great job yourself. To have the desire of being a good mother is a powerful thing.

I recommend reading about our problem. Good sources are as mentioned Claire Weeks and http://nothingworks.weebly.com

Stay strong. Stay healthy. Stay loyal to YOURSELF!

:hugs:

Give yourself a break and even more valuable, time.

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also read this post by another amazing mommy here on NMP:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=147031

[Stacz123]

I wish it was that simple. Don't no any of my neibours, friends are all busy working or with there own kids and would never trust by boys to be alone in the house whilst I slept. I'd wake up to crazyiness. I do often go to bed at 7 when they do with a big sigh of relief

[Deckardblues]

Well i am a Daddy to a 9yr old, and i get depression real bad, but am on Citalopram. It does take a while to kick in. I am on 30mg. It takes longer than you might think but bear with it. Being a parent is hard at the best of times, but anxiety can feel can go through the roof. I just struggle being a Daddy on a good day.