Tanner40
23-02-14, 13:45
Good Morning to everyone. I'm working on my attitude surrounding my Dad's diagnosis of multiple forms of cancer. This has all been going on for two months now and I am tired and beginning to become irritable and resentful. I'm told this is very common in caregivers but it hasn't stopped me from feeling guilty over my resentfulness.
Dad has been in a rehab facility all of this week, trying to regain some strength. He is depressed, overly dependent and grumpy. If I'm not there, he calls and wants to know when I'm coming. Says that he is bored. I end up just wanting my life and am becoming resentful that I have to drop I'm doing and go over there. Which in turn makes me feel guilty.
When he is released this week, he now says he is going back to his house. That means three nights a week, I am away from home and spending the night there. I just am not sure that I can do this, especially if my partner has to go out of town to be with her sick Mother.
I know that I am being selfish, but it would be so much easier if he would just come and stay at my house. But no, now he is determined to go home, where we will all be at his beck and call. At least me and my youngest brother. The other brother doesn't help out much.
The other thing that I am feeling guilty about is his upcoming treatment. The brother doesn't helped has talked him into an aggressive regime of chemotherapy. He has advanced mantle cell lymphoma, the rarest of the Non-Hodgkin Lymphomas. I would not do the chemotherapy but obviously it is his decision. There are days that I just want my life back, which again makes me feel guilty.
Would love to hear from some of you that have taken care of aging parents in a similar situation. I need to find a way of not feeling guilty or bad about my feelings, as it is not helping with my anxiety.
Dad has been in a rehab facility all of this week, trying to regain some strength. He is depressed, overly dependent and grumpy. If I'm not there, he calls and wants to know when I'm coming. Says that he is bored. I end up just wanting my life and am becoming resentful that I have to drop I'm doing and go over there. Which in turn makes me feel guilty.
When he is released this week, he now says he is going back to his house. That means three nights a week, I am away from home and spending the night there. I just am not sure that I can do this, especially if my partner has to go out of town to be with her sick Mother.
I know that I am being selfish, but it would be so much easier if he would just come and stay at my house. But no, now he is determined to go home, where we will all be at his beck and call. At least me and my youngest brother. The other brother doesn't help out much.
The other thing that I am feeling guilty about is his upcoming treatment. The brother doesn't helped has talked him into an aggressive regime of chemotherapy. He has advanced mantle cell lymphoma, the rarest of the Non-Hodgkin Lymphomas. I would not do the chemotherapy but obviously it is his decision. There are days that I just want my life back, which again makes me feel guilty.
Would love to hear from some of you that have taken care of aging parents in a similar situation. I need to find a way of not feeling guilty or bad about my feelings, as it is not helping with my anxiety.