worriedmummy1
23-02-14, 14:29
Hi All
My anxiety is currently running high all around my fear I have HIV. It is impacting on my life. I am scared to share cups with my children, and am constantly checking everything I do so I don't pass it onto them.
I have suffered like this before, which was 3.5 years ago after having my daughter. Again I had a massive fear of HIV and that I had got it in hospital after having my daughter as there was some blood on the loo seat. I couldn't remember if it was mine or someone elses, and so the spiral began and I then thought I had picked up HIV from a public toilet. What frightened me so much was that I had to have stitches after having my daughter and so in my mind I had an open wound to gain access. I did have a test in July 2010 for which was to reassure me about an incident in April 2010. It was negative as I had been told it would be and I was advised that I could not have got HIV from the scenarios I mentioned above.
So, 3.5 years have gone by and BOOM, my anxiety is back!
I have come up with the following scenarios as to how I could have got HIV this time:
1) on a night out a guy my friend was seeing bought us all a drink. He didn't like his so gave it to me. I drank it and now am worried what if he had cuts in his mouth and so did I (sore lips where they had been bleeding). This was in April 2012
2) Using the portaloo at a tough mudder event my husband was in in Sept 2013. The loos was disgusting and I remember seeing brown blobs on the plastic around the loo seat, but not on the loos seat. I am sure I hovered over the seat, but can remember
3) dropped a tampon on the floor at work (I work in a hospital), but had to use it. Now worried if it had dropped in body fluid with HIV it could have been transmitted inside me. Then to reassure myself I was the first to use the bathroom that day, a few hours later I went back to look in the bin. So, am worried if I had any cuts on my hand and their was something with HIV on it could have been transmitted, OR there was a needle in the bin that poked into me and I didn't realise. But logic tells me that I would have know about that - it would have hurt. This was 20 Jan 2014. My husband says this situation is absolutely no cause for concern and is not worried in the slightest by this.
4) Wet patch on toilet seat at work which I think was water from previous person flushing (cistern was still refilling when I went in). I went to the loo and now worried that I touched my bottom with toilet paper where I had sat on the wet patch and then wiped my bottom and again HIV could have been transmitted.
AND the final one - I have a few spots in my hair and am worried if I had somehow picked up HIV on my fingers and then accidentally scratched a spot and then applied pressure with my finger I could have transmitted it!
Please reassure me I have nothing to worry about. I have convinced myself a test is the only way out, and am considering getting one of the 28 day private postal ones, but am scared to. Also if I do I want a reputable good quality one. Has anyone used on of these and if so which did you use.
Thank you for reading my long ramble I really appreciate it. xx:weep:
My anxiety is currently running high all around my fear I have HIV. It is impacting on my life. I am scared to share cups with my children, and am constantly checking everything I do so I don't pass it onto them.
I have suffered like this before, which was 3.5 years ago after having my daughter. Again I had a massive fear of HIV and that I had got it in hospital after having my daughter as there was some blood on the loo seat. I couldn't remember if it was mine or someone elses, and so the spiral began and I then thought I had picked up HIV from a public toilet. What frightened me so much was that I had to have stitches after having my daughter and so in my mind I had an open wound to gain access. I did have a test in July 2010 for which was to reassure me about an incident in April 2010. It was negative as I had been told it would be and I was advised that I could not have got HIV from the scenarios I mentioned above.
So, 3.5 years have gone by and BOOM, my anxiety is back!
I have come up with the following scenarios as to how I could have got HIV this time:
1) on a night out a guy my friend was seeing bought us all a drink. He didn't like his so gave it to me. I drank it and now am worried what if he had cuts in his mouth and so did I (sore lips where they had been bleeding). This was in April 2012
2) Using the portaloo at a tough mudder event my husband was in in Sept 2013. The loos was disgusting and I remember seeing brown blobs on the plastic around the loo seat, but not on the loos seat. I am sure I hovered over the seat, but can remember
3) dropped a tampon on the floor at work (I work in a hospital), but had to use it. Now worried if it had dropped in body fluid with HIV it could have been transmitted inside me. Then to reassure myself I was the first to use the bathroom that day, a few hours later I went back to look in the bin. So, am worried if I had any cuts on my hand and their was something with HIV on it could have been transmitted, OR there was a needle in the bin that poked into me and I didn't realise. But logic tells me that I would have know about that - it would have hurt. This was 20 Jan 2014. My husband says this situation is absolutely no cause for concern and is not worried in the slightest by this.
4) Wet patch on toilet seat at work which I think was water from previous person flushing (cistern was still refilling when I went in). I went to the loo and now worried that I touched my bottom with toilet paper where I had sat on the wet patch and then wiped my bottom and again HIV could have been transmitted.
AND the final one - I have a few spots in my hair and am worried if I had somehow picked up HIV on my fingers and then accidentally scratched a spot and then applied pressure with my finger I could have transmitted it!
Please reassure me I have nothing to worry about. I have convinced myself a test is the only way out, and am considering getting one of the 28 day private postal ones, but am scared to. Also if I do I want a reputable good quality one. Has anyone used on of these and if so which did you use.
Thank you for reading my long ramble I really appreciate it. xx:weep: