View Full Version : One month off fluox feeling terrible
littlemissjo
24-02-14, 14:41
Hi all,
I haven't been on this forum for a while, I originally came here when I started taking fluox in October 2012 to help deal with the side effects, knowing I wasn't the only one going through it was a great help then. It took about five weeks for the side effects to subside, and all of 2013 was a good year. I felt alive, confident and like I'd won the battle with my self esteem, guilt and generally started loving me.
So confident was I that the CBT I'd had in 2012 had worked that just before Xmas 2013 I decided that I'd go to the doctors and ask about coming off. I was missing every other day as it was and she said that I should just taper the regularity down over a couple of weeks. I didn't over Christmas but by mid to late Jan 2014 I did and stopped taking. The next couple of weeks were fine apart from a few dizzy spells and irritability all totally endurable.
Then last Sunday I felt the onset of a panic attack, some old thoughts got brought up and I calmed myself down. I woke on Monday feeling anxious still and for the rest of the week it wasn't even a spiral I just figuratively hit the floor. Uncontrollable emotional weeping, sobbing for no reason apart from an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Anxiety, feelings of panic, I feel spaced out and can't concentrate. Last night I felt 'up' and now today I'm in bed scared crying and thinking negative thoughts and panicking about them.
After reading up I think I'm suffering from low serotonin. Has anyone else had a similar crash? I work for myself now so I really need a solution because I'm lying in bed when I should be working... I think the solution is going to be to go back on F but I'm scared of the side effects and how they will effect me again, I'm scared of being on these forever I want children in the next couple of years too. I feel really alone in the house by myself and alone because no one around me understands what I'm feeling.
I haven't got a doctors appt until Thursday morning so I'm trying to hang on until then. This is so so hard
Same as me. I started stoped 3 times since august 2011. Last time i started in october 2012 and coming off from them 1 year later. 2013 for me was my best year since 2006 everything was OK. But in 22 January 2014 same symptomes are back with terible anxiety and deppresion. I went to my doc and started again Fluxotine/prozac now i am on 30 day 20mg. And starting to feel better. But this drug need 8-10 weeks to work 100%. Dont worry you are not alone. Good days will come again
littlemissjo
24-02-14, 16:47
Thanks Linda for your support. The worst thing for me is that I feel crippled by this illness this time.
When I was in the midst of what I call my 'episode' in 2012, I had a lot of issues going on that needed addressing. CBT addressed all the negative thoughts in my head, I had answers for all of them. I still have those answers deep down, but this is taking all my resources to rationalise the thoughts in my head. I have none, I feel awful I need to get back on the Flu. I have loads in the cupboard but am loathe to just start taking again without supervision / discussion.
Also back in 2012 I had a full time job, which meant even in my illness and in the throes of SEs I had a reason, well I HAD to, get up and shake them off to a certain extent. I had to go to work. Now I'm at home, it's easily taking over I will just roll over in bed rather than doing the work I need to do. How do people deal with this and work?
I'm a stay at home parent and I often wondered in my worst how people coped with the SE and went to work. But, I had a few nights where the anxiety went into overload and I would lie awake shaking ... I got through that by telling myself it was a side effect and it wasn't going to kill me. Maybe that how others cope by telling themselves it's just a side effect and it will go away eventually.
littlemissjo
25-02-14, 10:33
That's how I coped the last time, and having a full time job then meant that I just had to get up and get through it. My bosses weren't the most compassionate.
I had also just had an amazing CBT trough the NHS who had addressed the bad feelings I had about myself and taught me that anxiety and panic can't take over me unless I let it. Well,
I thought I had that nailed until this happened. And I can't even blame side effects as Ive come off the Fluox. Or maybe I can but there just isn't enough evidence to support it. I can't wait to get back to my 'normal' self on the meds. It makes me start crying with sadness just to say that...
---------- Post added at 07:41 ---------- Previous post was at 07:38 ----------
But part of me is saying it will be much easier to say yep it's just side effects I just have to endure while it's working than to live feeling like a broken woman :(
---------- Post added at 10:33 ---------- Previous post was at 07:41 ----------
Just got off the phone with the doctor, Day 1 of Fluoxetine it is then.
Just taken my first tablet, feeling hopeful. :unsure:
littlemissjo
27-02-14, 08:14
Day three, after my second nights sleep 11-6am sharp woke up with that panic feeling again. Lie there resaying over in my head it's only side effects. It hasn't gone away yet two hours later, reluctant to take the third pill as I can't swallow my breakfast but I suppose I have to...
Littlemiss, that's the best thing you can do is just keep telling yourself it's a side effect, it isn't going to kill you but it is a great big fat pain in the bum. But you will and are going to get through today!
If you are struggling to eat, please try something light, like a banana. It's better to have a bit of something than nothing. I'm wondering if your SE will be bad, as you could still have some (fluox) left in your system, so you just need to top it up if that makes sense. I could be wrong but I am sure I read a thread on here about a girl who took fluoxetine whilst she was pregnant, or it was someones daughter who had taken it quite safely.
Get up, get something to eat and you win the day littlemiss! I have every faith in you.
littlemissjo
27-02-14, 11:48
Your message inspired me to get up out of bed this morning! I felt passable doing work this morning, and I had wondered the same thing as you - surely they can't be that bad because I only finished a course in Jan - it's coming and going, on waking up horrendous, then was ok for a couple of hours, then its hit me again since eleven onwards. I feel like crying, but can't even do that now!
The feeling like you're constantly on the verge of a panic attack is horrendous enough, but I hate the constant battle with my thoughts, the feeling that I'm just not good enough and can't cope. Last night was a good evening though, I hope every evening is better like that. Did you find it better of an evening? Maybe it was because I was occupied with people
Yes, I definitely found evening where better. I would take myself off for a bath and read a book. Then I would get into bed and maybe watch some tv. But I was definitely better in the evening. Then I would wake up and I could tell how I was by how bad the shakes where, I had real bad tremors. I couldn't control the shaking at all. It was adrenalin that was causing it, it had just gone into overload. I was prescribed propranolol and it stopped the adrenalin.
I'm glad you got up, even if you get out of bed and just sit in a chair for a couple of hours watching This Morning, it's better than being hidden away in your bed.
But you are good enough and you can cope, you know how much better it's going to be. You know the good days are ahead. All you've got to do is ride this storm out, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Well done for working this morning, that is massive! You are doing incredibly well even if you don't feel it, I can see how well you are doing.
littlemissjo
27-02-14, 17:28
You must have battled through! So brave. It definitely helps to get out of bed, it a bettle of will though. I hate the shakes, I tend to get shaky hands more than anything. Bubble bath sounds good :)
I remember lifting my hands and saying to my husband 'look, look how bad my hands are shaking' .. yet to look at, they looked near still. It was only when I grabbed his arm, so I was holding him that he could feel I was shaking. I would gauge how I was going to be that day with how much I was trembling or not. It was a big step the morning I realised I wasn't trembling ... but that could have been the propranolol too, which was prescribed to stop the anxiety. If the shakes get much worse and you feel really bad visit the GP and ask for a beta blocker, 10mg of propranolol worked a treat for me in the beginning.
Did you have the panic, feelings of anxiety, depression, poor concentration etc prior to taking fluoxetine in the past? If not, its withdrawal that you're facing. Fluoxetine doesn't have much in the way of physical withdrawal symptoms, but you can experience long-lasting depression/anxiety after discontinuing it.
What you could do, if you're finding 20mg hard, is to take 5mg a day. Low doses of these medications can help as well as higher doses - a survey found that while 54% of people benefited from 5mg of fluoxetine, 64% benefited from 20mg - so there is not much of a difference really. You can get liquid fluoxetine or you can dissolve the capsules in water.
If you want to come off these drugs for good, the best way to do so is through a long and slow taper. There are some websites out there that talk about how to come off these kind of meds permanently - while some people can stop taking them suddenly, others have to take a year or more to come off them to allow the brain to recover.
Just remember, the side effects diminished last time and you had a great year after! I know how much it sucks when it feels like you have to start all over again, but you aren't alone. Almost everyone has setbacks! Generally the second time on a medication, side effects subside faster than the first time because your body adjusts at a quicker pace. Hopefully you'll be free of the bad side effects sooner and can get back on the road to feeling good again.
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Also, keep in mind that it isn't a BAD thing to be on fluoxetine for a long time. Some people take fluoxetine indefinately and live normal lives. Some people need medication to regulate blood pressure, cholestrol, insulin, etc. A medication that regulates serotonin levels in the brain is no different! There's just so much more stigma around it.
If you do consider taking a lower dose as one user suggested, make sure you check with your GP first. Different people react differently to certain doses. Someone who has taken a medication before generally benefits better the same dose as prior because the body already is accustomed to it.
littlemissjo
01-03-14, 09:00
Emphyrio I went on them because of panic and anxiety associated with life events, perhaps I was depressed aswell because of that. The effects I had week before last didn't have the same symptoms totally. I was generally anxious but not panicky although once or twice I felt that taking hold. The worst was feeling foggy and an overwhelming sadness, I pretty much cried all week. After lots of reading online I equated it to low serotonin levels. I had pretty much every symptom on the list apart from a couple. Thanks for the advice on dosage, I'll stick to what the doctors given me for now which is 20mg which is what I was on before. I've not heard of liquid fluoxetine before? Annoyingly when I went to my doctor before Christmas she did there were no lower doses and to just wean off dropping a day for a couple/few weeks
Anthrokid thank you, it really does suck, it feels like a major setback but then I can't think straight now through the waves of panic. I know it's for the best, my doctor said the same things as you which made me feel much better at the time and encouraged me to just bite the bullet and start taking them again.
Right now though, esp this morning I can't see the wood for the trees. Time to take day number five and Ive been awake in bed since six again rising waves of panic. Can't quiten my thoughts and feel like I'm in a pit of despair again like I haven't for a year and a half. I would cry if I could...
You don't have to go through this panic with no help, don't forget about propranolol. Not everyone want's to take more meds, but they worked a treat for me when the anxiety/panic was so bad I could barely speak my name I was that petrified.
I'm quite happy to stay on Fluox long term if I have too. I reckon this anxiety has taken years and years to build up; I had an anxious parent, my dad died when I was kid, all my grandparents died the following year (bad timing, or what!), I had a disastrous relationship till I met my husband. I have an autistic child who I have fight to get him everything that should just be given. Ive taken my local education department to court more times than I care to remember ..... all my life has been one big anxious mess. If I have to take fluoxetine for many years then so be it. I know my GP has said a minimum of 6 months (I see her every two weeks, it was every week for the first 2 months) but I've asked to stay on longer.
Have you had anything to eat? If not, then how about you to go and make yourself something light and eat it. That is a goal achieved. Then how about you have half an hour sat outside (if your weather is nice) and just listen to what is going on around you. Then come back in, make a warm drink and just tell yourself how bloomin' good you have just been.
I don't want to be like 'teaching your granny how to suck eggs' as I know you have done this before, but I don't want you to think that you are on your own either, I'm here xx
littlemissjo
02-03-14, 09:54
Hi MrsC, I feel for you that's a lot to deal with in anyone's life. I'm 32 and have had so much anxiety in my life, Ive taken a lot out on myself and I didn't realise until I had CBT or appreciate that there were reasons for my anxiety too, it wasn't just the person I was and had to be.
yesterday I felt just awful as I said I just let the bad thoughts engulf me until I was in a bad place again and not associating the feeling with the side effects. I did eat a banana (I try that every morning now) and after half ten sitting on the couch still feeling in the midst of panic I noticed the sun outside. We have a canal alongside our flats so put my wellies on and went for a walk in the sun. It was Lovely and by the time I came back I felt much calmer, still down, but it took the edge off the panic and I could eat some toast. I felt flat and spaced out all afternoon and evening. I don't feel as bad as yesterday this morning, (felt so woozy I think it was all the carbs last night had pasta for tea) that I managed ventually to get a bit more sleep. I have a christening to go to now so am trying to force myself to get up and have a walk again.
littlemissjo
03-03-14, 06:48
Day seven today. Yesterday was ok, I got up and went to the Christening. I think the fact that I had somewhere to be distracted me because the thoughts didn't take over and I was alright. I felt distanced at the after party though, so many people to talk to and I felt awkward and edgy and the buffet stuck in my throat. All in all it was a nice day though and good to be out for most of it. Today it's quarter to seven and Ive been awake for an hour and a half thinking too much and waves of panic over my stomach. Feel like it's going to be a long day of fighting my mind and the SEs like Saturday was...
Morning!
Well done on getting out to the Christening. You did amazing to go to the party afterwards and I honestly mean that as I had to attend a party for my MIL when I was in the depths of my despair, I even had to serve the food .... it wasn't great with my trembling hands.
The walk would have done you the world of good, exercise does help. I am a keen runner but until the other day I hadn't run for a couple of months. I couldn't whilst I wasn't eating and then when I started the propranolol I wasn't sure if I could exercise whilst on that drug. But I suffer with restless legs so yesterday morning I went for a run, on a treadmill LOL I did run 5 miles and I felt bloomin' good all day. I'm going to start doing something every day again. Maybe we could be exercise buddys for a little while??
I'll pop in and out during the day so if it's getting real bad I will be about xx
littlemissjo
03-03-14, 11:54
Morning! I've managed to feel a bit better, had a couple of tiny (weight watchers) toast with honey and a banana and a couple of big cups of decaff! Can't wait to have some caffeine again. Feeling edgy but not unbearable but can't drag myself off the couch to work, walk or anything really. I nearly forgot my 7th tablet only remembered at 11.
Weathers not as nice for walking today but feel like I should. I've never been one for much exercise and fitness, I reckon if I ran down the road I'd collapse, much as I'd love to be able to run for my weight and my health. I bought an exercise bike over Christmas but since I got 'ill' again I haven't been anywhere near it. I'm finding it difficult to focus on things / concentrate which has affected my motivation and my ability to make decisions :( great that you ran for five miles that sounds epic to me! Last couple of nights my legs and feet have been restless too, I suffer with it on and off but I put this down to the meds
I'm gonna set you a challenge, 10 mins on your exercise bike! No more, no less. Then if you feel like it a nice relaxing bubble bath and then maybe something else to eat. But your challenge, should you choose to accept is ....... 10 mins on your exercise bike.
This post will NOT self destruct in 30 seconds ha ha ha
littlemissjo
04-03-14, 07:36
Day 8 (for some reason I'm posting in the morning I guess it's a bit of a distraction) and I can't seem to make the distinction between the SEs and my feelings of panic/anxiety/guilt. Even though I haven't had those thoughts in a long time. Woke up at six again, been lying here engulfed in thoughts and waves of panic. I'm hungry and thirsty though, need to get up.
MrsC I'll accept that challenge for today. Yesterday I had been for a walk up the road and back (where I love isn't v nice so I don't tend to go too far). It helped minorly I felt on edge all yesterday, bad about myself and bad about this situation
Morning! I wouldn't try and distinguish, just accept them as side effects, they can't kill you, they are just annoying and will pass. Good news that you are hungry today, make the most of it and eat what you want.
Well done on going for a walk, I don't like going out for a run here as I've nearly been run over a couple of times, I wouldn't mind but that's me running on a pavement, but some drivers just seem to drive onto a pavement when they want to turn around. It's like I'm in the wrong for being on a pavement, that's why I prefer to run on a treadmill indoors. Do you have a phone that plays music? If so, put 3 songs on, play them whilst you're on the exercise bike and that's your 10 mins done.
littlemissjo
04-03-14, 12:15
That's the thing, my brain won't accept that it just goes on wild ride raking up the past. And then every now and then I will go 'but it's just side effects' then another wave over my chest and back we go again.
I'm hungry in the pit of stomach but still don't feel like eating if that makes sense. I hardly have anything in to eat. Still trying to fend off the work emails, while doing a little each day. Will try the exercise too x
littlemissjo
05-03-14, 07:41
Morning of day 9, woke up at 5.50 with same dread feeling, only thoughts didn't take over this morning it was just v uncomfortable and I think I even drifted in and out until my fellas alarm went off. Is that progress? Still fighting the waves now though, feel a bit nauseous and v anxious.
Last night was good I didn't want to go to sleep to wake up to this. We went food shopping had pancakes and I felt more my normal self. I hope this returns soon it's so disheartening when you wake up...
Morning anxiety is shocking with Prozac it's very common. Lots of threads on here talk about it. I'm impressed you went food shopping!! I found it very difficult to leave the house, apart from taking the kids to school I didn't do anything else .... it took me about two months to go back into a supermarket. OMG just had a memory, the week before Christmas and my side effects are just kicking in and I had to finish the last of the shopping off, I remember sitting in the car and saying to my husband 'I'm having a nervous breakdown and I have to go shopping ... I must be a sadist' .. it was Jan/Feb before I went back into Asda haha.
Hope your day gets better, it should do.
littlemissjo
05-03-14, 09:43
Thank heavens for online shopping! :) I actually just enjoy getting out the flat, we went to Sburys last Saturday and I just wandered about in a daze I was so zoned out but it felt better to be on my feet. I was no help in choosing dinner. I've never just done nothing, this last couple of weeks is the least Ive done ever and it scares me! I have to work to save for a house and pay the rent :weep:
My husband had to take time off work to do the house stuff, that was difficult as he is self employed so no work, no money. I kept apologising, but I just couldn't do anything, all I wanted to do was lie in bed all day. But I felt so bad because of how it was effecting us as a family I kept repeating my mantra 'I have to get up, I have to get a shower, I have to get dressed, I have to take the kids to school, I have to put the washing on and I have to make meals for us all'. Cooking was the worst, the smell of food would have me gagging. I tell you what I find odd now, all this feels like a life time ago, but it was only a month ago.
You've just got to keep telling yourself that this period doesn't last forever, it just seems to drag and drag ........ and drag some more. Can you work in small time frames, like just do 10 mins at a time, give yourself plenty of rest too.
littlemissjo
05-03-14, 11:42
I know it's so weird, I know I felt terrible the last time (I think with the boss I had I was too afraid to take time off work), but awful as it was that time too, just over a month later I was handing my notice in at work and going self employed - it's that much of a turn around, but it's weird how you don't even notice! And yet still like I said - I can't see the wood for the trees
My fella is out at work everyday and then I feel bad that I should be doing the same, I don't know how I would cope with kids to look after! I am trying to do a little every now and then - scared of getting out of the habit of doing a full days work!
With having kids, you have to just get on with it. My very worst, I kept my eldest off school one day so he could take the youngest to school. I think that was my rock bottom. I felt so bad, so guilty, just really bad. That's when my mantra developed.
Little often is good and you know that when those good days are back, you will be working a full day and probably with loads of enthusiasm, so you will soon catch up.
Have you had breakfast or dinner today? Or lunch, if you're southern.
littlemissjo
05-03-14, 19:41
I'm 'central'ern, I intersperse the two dinner/lunch :) I ate a banana and fig rolls this morning, went out for a coffee with a heavily pregnant friend this afternoon and had a wrap. I forgot to ask for decaff though and have paid for it this afternoon - feeling thoroughly shaky and anxious! Sugar / caffeine / not enough to eat will do it everytime.
I think I need that mantra too! Or a kick up the bum in the morning
You can have the mantra or I could send you my kids, they won't let you be ill :D
You got out, well done! And you managed to eat a bit more today, well done again!! Oops about the drink, I only drink tea or hot chocolate, never really thought about the caffeine before and anxiety. I only know when I haven't drunk enough caffeine as I get a banging headache.
Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow! I won't be about much, I have 2 volunteer jobs and Thursday and Fridays are the days I am out. I will be thinking of you though and hoping you feel less anxious.
littlemissjo
06-03-14, 14:14
Thanks MrsC. Good on you with your volunteer work!
Day 10 has been a bit good and a bit bad. Woke up earlier than usual at 5am and didn't really get back to sleep because of the feelings, but around 8 I had ravenous hunger and actually felt like eating cereal - I had a bowl with not much trouble I feel like this was progress for the morning! I think because I felt a bit more normal I nearly forgot to take my tablet...
I went to town with a friend but just felt a bit like a zombie - not interested, and since I've got home I feel increasingly anxious, trying to ignore it now as I planned on doing a bit of work
Thanks MrsC. Good on you with your volunteer work!
Day 10 has been a bit good and a bit bad. Woke up earlier than usual at 5am and didn't really get back to sleep because of the feelings, but around 8 I had ravenous hunger and actually felt like eating cereal - I had a bowl with not much trouble I feel like this was progress for the morning! I think because I felt a bit more normal I nearly forgot to take my tablet...
I went to town with a friend but just felt a bit like a zombie - not interested, and since I've got home I feel increasingly anxious, trying to ignore it now as I planned on doing a bit of work
You're doing well LMJ. Distract yourself best you can and self soothe when needed. Things are moving along.
littlemissjo
07-03-14, 07:23
Woke at four and six this morning, terrible night sweats and the anxiety is back. Dreading getting up now, although getting up will probably make it a bit better...
Woke at four and six this morning, terrible night sweats and the anxiety is back. Dreading getting up now, although getting up will probably make it a bit better...
Insomnia is just the way it goes it seems. I'm still dealing with it off and on (currently on) myself. Hope your day improves!
littlemissjo
07-03-14, 16:22
Thanks Busub, it has markedly! :yesyes: I can accept that I'm not feeling great at the moment generally if it lets me get on with a bit of work and feel sane for half the day, which I have. It still baffles me how you can feel so completely different at one time of the day when you want the ground to swallow you up in the morning - these times are sent to try us!
littlemissjo
08-03-14, 09:31
Woke up before six again, managed to drift in and out until nine, that means the anxiety didn't take over which is good start for today. Last couple of nights I've started to feel irritable (my other half will vouch for that) but I guess that's an improvement on 'nothingy spaced out ness' I've been experiencing for the last few weeks. Brain fog is the worst
littlemissjo
10-03-14, 07:01
Weekend has been a bit better. Distractions have been good and kept my mind off things. It's the in betweens (and the mornings obv) where I notice the anxiety, trembles, low feelings. I do feel sad around people I know because I know I'm not my normal self and don't feel at all chatty and happy. But for the most part this time round Ive told people what is going on, so even if they don't understand they have a bit of sympathy.
Still woke up at quart to six. The feeling in my chest is strong this morning and can't get back to sleep.
Good Morning!
When I was low, I needed this board as I didn't really know anyone 'real' to talk to about how I was feeling. I have a friend on Sertraline but she is months ahead of me and didn't seem to get any side effects but she was severely depressed before she started the meds. I remember being stood at school waiting for the kids and the group of mums I stand with I just couldn't bring myself to chat, I just wanted to be anywhere other than there ..... usually in my bed hiding under the quilt.
I've never really understood why 'we' don't discuss mental health issues in the uk as so many of us seem to be on SSRI's. We're an odd bunch at times. I asked my GP about a support group and there isn't one. Probably because it's only a very short space of time (when you look at the whole picture) that you feel down, 'cos once those tablets kick in you feel fan-bloomin-tastic.
I had the best weekend ever, loved every bit of it.
littlemissjo
10-03-14, 08:26
So glad you had a good weekend! You remind me of me last year on the meds, I just remembered actually how people I worked with at different places (I'm freelance) saying things like 'not all of us are as positive as you' and 'just because you've got a sunny disposition' I felt invincible last year and was so flattered because in my struggles with self esteem throughout the years that was the type of person I always wanted to be! I want to be a joy to be around!
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It does seem strange that there isn't any support group but I think there are drop in centres for mind I think, and the phone lines and Samaritans but it doesn't really help when the person you are talking through doesn't understand what you're experiencing
See, I'm dreading come off these meds. Because I know I have never ever felt this good. I must have been poorly for a long long time. But my GP has said a minimum of six months ... I have asked to stay on longer, but I know at some point I will have to come off. I once read on here how someone had had the best 15 years of their life on Prozac, I am hoping I get the same LOL.
Do you have any plans for today to keep you busy?
littlemissjo
10-03-14, 12:47
Just done a small amount of work this morning and local high street with a friend then back to work. I have lots on again and people chasing for work which is stressing me out but I'm trying not to let it overwhelm me, people will just have to wait until I am upto speed again. Feeling anxious but not horrendous today. I know what you mean - I truly wish Id never stopped!
Don't get stressed, I know that's easy for me to say ... you're ill, you have like the worst chest infection ever, only it's in your brain. Can you sub contract any work out? Or better still, tomorrow your phone is broken so don't answer it ;) Do one thing a day that makes you happy, just something for you. Always have something positive to look back on then you can say 'yeah, it was ok today'.
littlemissjo
11-03-14, 07:40
That's why I'm trying to see people in the day, even if everytime I go out I have ten more emails and an Answerphone message. I did for the first week or two tell people who I hadn't got back to that I was ill and taking time off. For some reason if you tell someone you're I'll they think it's a cold or a headache and there they are again next day! Today I might see my friend but she's already 'overdue' and had a false alarm yesterday, so will wait for an update.
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I'm about to take day fifteen and I think I have a call with the doctor today to see how it's going.
Oooh a new baby, how lovely. Something wonderful to look forward too. I hope your friend has a smooth delivery for her special cargo haha. Hope it went well with your GP today.
littlemissjo
11-03-14, 17:08
She seemed satisfied that I'm progressing ok, no need for an up dose (heaven forbid! :ohmy: ) Been to see friend, baby is still a no show being stubborn, I don't blame him/her it's probably nice and safe and comfy!
I was concerned that I would be given a higher dose at one of my routine visits. Not sure why either, but I was concerned for some reason. You are progressing well and for you, you know what's going to happen next.
LOL at the baby, yeah it's much nicer in mummys tummy.
littlemissjo
12-03-14, 16:57
Having a bad day started off ok, just got some negative feedback from a client, and even though within the same hour I've had some really positive feedback from another more valued client my anxiety and shaky feelings / SEs have gone into overload. I should go for a walk / have a shower or something it's not going to help me sitting here feeling low...
LMJ you're dong great! Blips come and go, but you're still here. Keep fightng! We're doing this together!
littlemissjo
13-03-14, 07:54
Ah thanks Busub! I just needed to calm down yesterday, I don't take criticism well and it's a bad time for it. On a positive note though on day 17 - I don't remember waking up at 6 this morning which means I slept pretty much through from ten until 7.30!
Wow, why would anyone want to give negative feedback, constructive yes, but not negative ... sounds like the client is a very negative person, their problem and not yours :mad: When we do meditation we have to take negative comments in our head and throw them out and then welcome the positive ones by shaking them by the hands.
Well done on sleeping for a bit longer. Here's to a much more positive day for you xx
littlemissjo
13-03-14, 10:02
To be honest design is a really stupid profession to go into if you suffer with low self esteem. :doh: I can't remember who said 'opinions are like a***holes, everybody's got one', people just don't think how it might affect the other person, especially in business. But onwards and upwards! I had some really great feedback off two separate clients also yesterday so I'll try and focus on those! And here's to a better (well rested day)
Hope you're having a lovely downtime weekend!
littlemissjo
17-03-14, 09:09
Thanks MrsC. The last couple of days have been ok, again waking up at five but getting back to sleep for a couple of hours. Feeling anxious, more so uncertain in the downtimes. My mind is playing old tricks on me, giving me a hard time at night and in the day. But I've managed to get a bit of my old mojo back finding it in me to do a bit of photography and editing which I used to love. Took my mom shopping yesterday but couldn't get into it (I know I'm still not right when I don't buy anything!) all in all I think I'm on track, just not feeling me. This morning day 21 I think, I woke with a fright at 3.30 and felt the panic again, I didn't think Id ever get back to sleep but I did. The night sweats were awful :-/ but lying here now listening to the birds and seeing the blue sky I kind of feel like everything is going to be alright x
What about listening to stuff on a tablet/smart phone? Like, I will put something on iplayer, I don't want to watch anything but I don't mind listening to something, usually a history type programme ... they always send me back off to sleep. Not because they are boring, just that I am listening to them and not concentrating on why I am awake.
Keep going .... you are doing so bloomin' good!!!
littlemissjo
24-03-14, 10:14
So sorry it's been awhile. I just feel like there's nothing to report. A bit like groundhog day at the minute. I don't feel up, I don't feel particularly down. Just seem to be going through the motions. I want to feel happy there's so much to be happy about I just can't 'feel' it. End of week four I think...
Not long to go ........ At least you're not feeling down or 'cant cope'. Nothing has to be better than the downer than down.
How's work going? I've started my CBT, today I have my second session, last weeks was more form filling so today is my first proper lesson. Last week she asked me to fill in a worry diary, I said I don't worry anymore ... haha. Bit pointless really, but hey, I have to think that not on Fluox I worry like there is no tomorrow.
littlemissjo
28-03-14, 09:49
Hi MrsC - sorry I missed this I've just been plodding along with things. Yes at least I know I can cope, it's not nice but liveable. Day 31 here and I feel flat and low, I have bursts of energy but they're short-lived and I feel flat again straight after. My mind still feels foggy I'm forgetful and can't handle more than one thing at a time. Still going slow with work and not taking too much on for that reason. Have you had anymore CBT sessions? I sent a form off to healthy minds to try and get some more help but I don't know if I was too late sending it back.
No, no more CBT, I had two sessions .... the therapist said 'because you are doing so well I don't feel you need the 6 sessions, I would rather pick up someone who isn't doing so well' ... which I understand, totally understand. But it took my neck of the woods 6 months for the CBT team to pick me up. I hope they are quicker at getting the next person. Thing is, where that would have bothered me in the past, this time it just didn't.
How are you doing? I really do hope you are improving every day.
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