What just happened?!

[LunaLiuna]

Hello everyone,

I honestly can't believe what just happened, I went out for a walk and managed to walk past loads of people. Not only that, I bumped into an old freind and felt fine!!!! :yahoo:

I don't understand after how I've been feeling over the weekend and before. I've somehow managed to do this. I guess the non thinking from the medication has a good side..

I still don't like the medication but I'm amazed. I should of crumbled and ran away. I probably felt like 10% anxious, and that was because my hair kept getting in my face. I feel almost like I want to go out again?

This is kinda weird, it's not normal to go from how I was to this is it?

My psychiatrist is here in half an hour so I'll mention it to him along with the other stuff.

Just wanted to post because I'm confused.. :unsure:

Hope everyone else is doing well!

[MrAndy]

dont be confused be happy ! :D

[Phuzella]

:)

[LunaLiuna]

But it doesn't feel right :s

Three years and then it just disappears? It's a pretty big shock..

[MrAndy]

But it doesn't feel right :s

Three years and then it just disappears? It's a pretty big shock..
just go with it............

[CeeCeeCee]

Luna, maybe it's because you have been so bad the last few days that coping with going out and being like a 'normal person' was easier after feeling how you did. Like you couldn't get any lower so the only way was up? Also, if like here, the sun has been shining then I think it acts like a switch that turns on your zippedy-doo-dah (ish) side? Take energy from it and let it help you move forward.

[LunaLiuna]

Yeah the sun has been out, it's great :)

Thanks Cee, it's added a little more weirdness to everything though. Do you think I should go out more? or not push myself and just let it happen? I did have my sister with me, I was taking her to feed the ducks so maybe that was a factor in it..

[Phuzella]

Don't feel like you have to go out more, but do if you want to. Play it by ear. The sun does help a lot though
after all the bad weather.

[LunaLiuna]

Don't feel like you have to go out more, but do if you want to. Play it by ear. The sun does help a lot though
after all the bad weather.

Thanks Phuzella, my psychiatrists here now so I'll be back later.

[ankietyjoe]

Don't question it too much. This is just part of recovery.

It's likely your brain will tell you that it was just a one off experience next time you try, but it's important to not get disheartened if you feel like crap next time you go out. It really doesn't matter.

I'd say keep pushing to go out and do 'normal stuff'. You're the best one to judge how much you can take on any given day, and the days where you feel like shit and still push your mental boundaries are the one that you put in the recovery bank.

Glad you had a good day though, just accept it as part of your journey :)

[KLP]

Brilliant brilliant News, we all had faith in you, and so did you. X

[Rennie1989]

Feel happy rather than confused, I'd give anything to return to normality.

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Very interested to hear what your pdoc has to say, but I am mainly SOOOO excited to hear of your improvements!

I truly think the "thinking" will resume and you will continue to feel better and better……this is exactly how it happened for me. Don't be surprised if you swoop a little lower again, but wait with great expectation as you are sure to climb high again!

[Fishmanpa]

Great Stuff! Take it as a gift and as they say... "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" ;)

Positive thoughts

[LunaLiuna]

Okay basically me and him came to an agreement, that the downward turn over the weekend and today's fairly confusing but still positive happening is all showing that I'm gradually returning to normality, After 3 years and 3 months.

The reason why I'm being more negative at the moment is because how distressing it is returning back to 'normal thinking' I'm still a little bit iffy if that is really the cause as I'm still not keen on the medication but I will have to stick with it, I did express my concern regarding it, but he said he can find no reason why I need to drop down a dose as I can speak coherently, I look well ect. I must admit I'm missing the old thought processes a little too much, which is stupid but true, I've grown attached to it as it's all I've known throughout my young life.

He explained that perhaps the reason why I'm finding it so distressing is because I've most likely not been using a fairly big portion of my brain (He drew me a diagram) and went on to say that most people have to either be positive or negative, there's not usually a middle ground. He basically echoed what books I had been reading have said. But still it made an impact, as I'm experiencing that middle ground at the moment, whereas for the past years I've had to be Positive or Negative.

He still didn't advise me on whether I should start to push myself to go out or what, but maybe that's for the meeting next week.

Overall it's brought me a little clarity on this super weird Monday! :yesyes:

[Phuzella]

Better than a boring old Monday lol. Stick at it little Buddha, you're getting there:)

[KLP]

Welcome your old self with open arms, you are being reborn. Sounds cliche, I know. But embrace what the future holds.

[LunaLiuna]

Better than a boring old Monday lol. Stick at it little Buddha, you're getting there:)


Awh thank you Phuzella, I hope you have an amazing day tomorrow :)

---------- Post added at 21:24 ---------- Previous post was at 21:22 ----------


Welcome your old self with open arms, you are being reborn. Sounds cliche, I know. But embrace what the future holds.

Thank you KLP,

I LOVE that idea! it honestly does feel like it, I'm so thankful for that second chance :)

[KLP]

Hi five Luna. What an achievement. If I drunk I'd have a glass if vino. :)