Mummygems
25-02-14, 15:59
:blush:
Hi, I've been a member for a while and thought about time I introduced myself.
I'm a stay at home mum of two gorgeous boys (Primary School age). My GP said last year that I was suffering from Anxiety, I myself believe it is heading more towards the health anxiety side (I have a particular phobia about cancer).
I know I'm a born worrier made worse by certain life events. I've always been a bit aware of certain health issues. When I was 1 year old my Grandmother committed suicide on my first birthday. I was reminded of this every year and never actually had a birthday party after that as the anniversary was too painful for my own mother. So I was very aware of death from a very young age. When I was only about 7 years old I had a friend who died of Leukemia. Being young I remember hearing my mum talking about how it all started with a sore throat, then a non stop cold then continual nosebleeds and then it was diagnosed and a couple of years later she had died. I remember sitting watching TV holding my chest to make sure my own heart was still beating!!
Some years on and I didn't really think anymore about it and I obviously had grandparents pass away from "old age" etc. Fast forward 9 years ago I found out I was pregnant and I remember that being my last time that I felt elated, happy, excited etc etc. My son was born and 2 years later had just learnt to say Grandad properly when my father then fell ill around this time of year. After a couple of months he was diagnosed with Lung Cancer and my whole world fell apart. I also found out at that time that I was pregnant too. This happiness was tinged with the heartache that my father was not going to survive and would never meet his grandchild. We managed to celebrate my Dad's 64th birthday in the June and 1 week later we celebrated my son's 2nd birthday on a beautiful sunny day and Dad managed to be there in the garden in the sunshine. From then his health deteriorated whilst my bump grew and 4 weeks later he passed away with me by his bedside. The most terrible time I have ever experienced.
The next 6 months flew and my second gorgeous baby boy arrived in the January. Having 2 very young sons, a very busy husband who regularly worked extremely long hours and away from home, and no family nearby has been really hard and i don't think I have every really been able to grieve properly for my dad.
1 year later and a very dear friend of mine was then diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 34. She was actually scared to tell me after what I had been through with my dad. She is an amazing person and is thankfully still with us but will never be cured.
1 year later i was then advised I had abnormal cervical cells. This was right around the time that Jade Goody passed away from Cervical cancer. When i received the letter I just remember feeling the blood drain from my body and having nobody around me to hug me. I had treatment for the abnormal cells, which thankfully were also not cancerous. No other explanation was given and everybody just kept saying to me to get on with life, all is fine. Now 4 years later and after regular smears no other problems have been found.
I just constantly have this nagging feeling of doom and that the slightest twinge is something serious. This past year has been the worst. January last year, I woke up with a rash all over me that would disappear when a glass was rolled over it and I worried so much I had meningitis that I just couldn't stop crying and getting through each day was a nightmare. I eventually saw the GP who put it down to a virus. A few months later I started breathing funny, like i could catch my breath unless i made myself yawn. Panic set in and I worried and worried but felt like i couldn't tell anyone for fear they'd think I was crazy. One sunday afternoon it got so bad that I got dizzy had chest pains, felt sick and in the end I told my husband to ring NHS direct as i thought it was my heart. After the doctor called me back he said it sounded like anxiety and to see my GP which I did the following day and he said the same. I had a couple of attacks like that afterwards. I started to take Kalms herbal remedy tablets and exercise more (i'm fairly fit anyway) and that really seemed to help. However I started to cut down the Kalms and towards the end of last year my bladder started playing up, frequent urination, pain, etc, etc, bloated stomach and I convinced myself I had ovarian cancer!! Eventually went to GP who did urine test which came back fine and that all cleared up. Since Christmas my bowel has been playing up, bloating, grumbling, sometimes sharp pain, sometimes just a dull ache which isn't painful. I think may be IBS as it comes and goes. I don't want to keep going to the GP.
I am stressed and anxious at the moment as I am having some personal problems with my mother, who is just never around anymore to support myself or my brother (hasn't been really since she me her new partner). She spends all her time with this family and none with us or her own grandchildren.
I just feel upset all the time and I hate it. i know its rubbing off on my eldest son and he says he has tummy ache all the time and goes into school upset as he doesn't want to leave me in case he is poorly. I have tried so hard to hide all of this from them.
Well thats about it in a nutshell, depressing isn't it!!
I just hope that someone out there understands me and doesn't think I am completely made.
Thanks for listening.
Hi, I've been a member for a while and thought about time I introduced myself.
I'm a stay at home mum of two gorgeous boys (Primary School age). My GP said last year that I was suffering from Anxiety, I myself believe it is heading more towards the health anxiety side (I have a particular phobia about cancer).
I know I'm a born worrier made worse by certain life events. I've always been a bit aware of certain health issues. When I was 1 year old my Grandmother committed suicide on my first birthday. I was reminded of this every year and never actually had a birthday party after that as the anniversary was too painful for my own mother. So I was very aware of death from a very young age. When I was only about 7 years old I had a friend who died of Leukemia. Being young I remember hearing my mum talking about how it all started with a sore throat, then a non stop cold then continual nosebleeds and then it was diagnosed and a couple of years later she had died. I remember sitting watching TV holding my chest to make sure my own heart was still beating!!
Some years on and I didn't really think anymore about it and I obviously had grandparents pass away from "old age" etc. Fast forward 9 years ago I found out I was pregnant and I remember that being my last time that I felt elated, happy, excited etc etc. My son was born and 2 years later had just learnt to say Grandad properly when my father then fell ill around this time of year. After a couple of months he was diagnosed with Lung Cancer and my whole world fell apart. I also found out at that time that I was pregnant too. This happiness was tinged with the heartache that my father was not going to survive and would never meet his grandchild. We managed to celebrate my Dad's 64th birthday in the June and 1 week later we celebrated my son's 2nd birthday on a beautiful sunny day and Dad managed to be there in the garden in the sunshine. From then his health deteriorated whilst my bump grew and 4 weeks later he passed away with me by his bedside. The most terrible time I have ever experienced.
The next 6 months flew and my second gorgeous baby boy arrived in the January. Having 2 very young sons, a very busy husband who regularly worked extremely long hours and away from home, and no family nearby has been really hard and i don't think I have every really been able to grieve properly for my dad.
1 year later and a very dear friend of mine was then diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 34. She was actually scared to tell me after what I had been through with my dad. She is an amazing person and is thankfully still with us but will never be cured.
1 year later i was then advised I had abnormal cervical cells. This was right around the time that Jade Goody passed away from Cervical cancer. When i received the letter I just remember feeling the blood drain from my body and having nobody around me to hug me. I had treatment for the abnormal cells, which thankfully were also not cancerous. No other explanation was given and everybody just kept saying to me to get on with life, all is fine. Now 4 years later and after regular smears no other problems have been found.
I just constantly have this nagging feeling of doom and that the slightest twinge is something serious. This past year has been the worst. January last year, I woke up with a rash all over me that would disappear when a glass was rolled over it and I worried so much I had meningitis that I just couldn't stop crying and getting through each day was a nightmare. I eventually saw the GP who put it down to a virus. A few months later I started breathing funny, like i could catch my breath unless i made myself yawn. Panic set in and I worried and worried but felt like i couldn't tell anyone for fear they'd think I was crazy. One sunday afternoon it got so bad that I got dizzy had chest pains, felt sick and in the end I told my husband to ring NHS direct as i thought it was my heart. After the doctor called me back he said it sounded like anxiety and to see my GP which I did the following day and he said the same. I had a couple of attacks like that afterwards. I started to take Kalms herbal remedy tablets and exercise more (i'm fairly fit anyway) and that really seemed to help. However I started to cut down the Kalms and towards the end of last year my bladder started playing up, frequent urination, pain, etc, etc, bloated stomach and I convinced myself I had ovarian cancer!! Eventually went to GP who did urine test which came back fine and that all cleared up. Since Christmas my bowel has been playing up, bloating, grumbling, sometimes sharp pain, sometimes just a dull ache which isn't painful. I think may be IBS as it comes and goes. I don't want to keep going to the GP.
I am stressed and anxious at the moment as I am having some personal problems with my mother, who is just never around anymore to support myself or my brother (hasn't been really since she me her new partner). She spends all her time with this family and none with us or her own grandchildren.
I just feel upset all the time and I hate it. i know its rubbing off on my eldest son and he says he has tummy ache all the time and goes into school upset as he doesn't want to leave me in case he is poorly. I have tried so hard to hide all of this from them.
Well thats about it in a nutshell, depressing isn't it!!
I just hope that someone out there understands me and doesn't think I am completely made.
Thanks for listening.