I feel like an empty shell

[PanickyPolly]

I have this incredible, overwhelming feeling of emptiness..almost like I need to be physically filled with something. Anybody else had this feeling?

[LickeyEndBlues]

Yup been there Polly!!

I have full understanding of where you are at. It is al part of the illness we have.

It will fill back up!!

Iain

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[Ma Larkin]

Me too Polly. It really gets me down at times because I start to feel sorry for myself & I really hate self pity. I think it's just because I'm lonely and don't really take advantage of my time alone when the kids are with their dad. I feel a New Year's resolution coming on!!!

Take care.

Les

[PanickyPolly]

It's not a one off thing though it's chronic...I remember feeling it when I was about 5 or 6 years old and not feeling like myself. I've never felt 'filled'. Not much a New Years resolution can do about that.

[devonrichardm]

I know exactly what you mean Polly, I feel really empty all the time, I don't feel like me at all. It's so frustrating, I just wish I could feel better.:(

[Chopper]

Hiya Polly,

I can empathise with you, I sometimes think my middle name should be 'Hollow'.[Sigh...]

There's so many, positive, things going on in my life but I feel empty inside, emotionless, completely lacking 'drive' if you know what I mean?

I'm not sure if it's a side-effect of the med's or part of the underlying problem but it's there whatever the cause.

Try and keep positive, you're not alone.

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I was saying this exact same thing the other day. I have also said before that "I need more life in my life". I'm now working full time, fundraising, acting as a voluntary social coordinator and taking a course. It hasn't cured me and, in fact I've probably take on too much cos I'm exhausted.

I think that I am going along the right lines though. We have to try and find meaning and something that makes us feel good and to do that you've just got to get out there and do things.

I'm reading a book at the minute and it's premise is that we shouldn't be looking for a single cure, we need to find 50% things that each make us feel 2% better. I can relate to that because i've done yoga and stuff and given it up because it didn't give me the desired results (ie. 50% improvement).....baby steps!!!

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[Chopper]

Simon,

"We have to try and find meaning", why?

Need we strive to identify a purpose or merely respond to what life throws at us?

Do you feel like you need to have an external direction, something spiritual perhaps? I can fully understand what you say but don't share your optimism that there's got to be a 'meaning' to life.

If there's some purpose to our being I'd like to know who/what determines the objective ........ and punch the sh*# out of him/her/it for making life so difficult.

Why does a rapist/murderer live to 100 and an innocent child get cancer? What's the 'meaning' for either?

This topic might just run and run?[Oops!]

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[W.I.F.T.S.]

hi chopper,

I'm pretty sure that there is no definitive 'meaning' to life, but I think that it's helpful (to me atleast) to have purpose and direction. I know plenty of people who go to work- come home- go to work- come home.... I don't know whether they're happy, but it's not something that I could do. I have to keep trying to experience life in new ways and to stretch myself beyond what i think my capabilities are.

I know that I do generalise when I write, so please forgive me.

Whether life is completely random or there is some masterplan to it, I don't know. I've had some very strange coincidences that have made me wonder. For example I was coming home from London on the train one time and I started chatting to a woman. She said to me to open her book at any random page without looking at the cover and to read the first paragraph. It said something like "be patient and you will get what you want". It was soooooooo spooky because we'd be talking about how frustrated I was that i kept trekking down to London for interviews and not getting the jobs. The book was some kind of religious text.

Another time, two or three random strangers said to me "if I knew then what I know now....." on different occassions very close together.

I think the people who are most successful at life are the ones who don't worry too much about it and just get on with it. Like I said, there is no definitive answer, so no amount of pondering will help you to unlock life's secrets. Just do it.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[PanickyPolly]

You know it's funny...I used to feel like a part of me was missing then I descovered paganism and that feeling went away so I liken it to this: I used to be an empty jar withour a lid...I have a lid now but the jar is still empty. Does that make sense? I have a good job although I don't do it much as I can hardly keep my mind on my work but there is every possibility that I can get to the top of my game in a very short time if I work at it...even so I'm totally alone...I work from home...I have no friends and no family and I am scared I will die alone. Maybe I am already dead I don't know. I just don't know how I feel sometimes but night time is the worst...I feel so alone...I lie in my bed alone and I think why?

I've got a thing about rejection as I've been rejected by everyone Ive ever met and loved. I decided to get back in touch with two old friends just to try to pick up the pieces and I wrote to them (emailed I mean) and they haven't written back yet and I feel abandoned all over again and I feel like they hate me. I've always done all the work in friendhips and never had anything back. I don't understand why I'm so hard to love. It seems like people find it easy to hate me but hard to love me.
I thought I was a loveable person. All I've ever given is love. Maybe I loved too much. I'm wondering if there is any love left in me. All I seem to be feeling now is anger and hate.

Is it possible to die of lonliness and unhappiness? I feel it is eating away at mysoul like a great big cancer.