Wintear
26-02-14, 00:36
Hi, guys. I am new to the site. I am hoping to get on well with you all.
For the past three months, I have been under-eating and avoiding solid foods all-together. I have developed a rather intense fear of choking. I have battled with this phobia twice before in the past and miraculously managed to overcome it both times. It took so much out of me to do so, however. Bouts with this fear come at a hefty cost, especially to get over.
I have been drinking nutrition shakes like Ensure for my proteins, vitamins, and mineral intake. I also drink smoothies for that extra kick, so to speak. I'm alright with soft foods like tuna, cornbread, muffins, donuts, SOME cold cuts, etc. I have been trying my hardest to incorporate at least one solid meal a day as I am concerned that this bout will be my worst. I dread being hospitalized for malnutrition. Heck, sometimes I think to myself "maybe that's best at this point..."
This phobia only adds to my already debilitating depression. See, I was diagnosed with both GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and severe Depression at just age 8. I am 20 years old now. I guess you could say I suffer periodically with an anxiety-induced eating disorder...if that makes any sense at all?
I have been struggling these past few months and every day it feels like I am JUST barely clinging on to life, or a "normal" life, at least. Lately, all I have been wanting to do is SLEEP. I just want to sleep this all off as if it were one big, vivid nightmare or something. The reality of things is that I haven't woken up yet...this thing is very real. My list of recent symptoms that I THINK (emphasis on THINK as I also suffer from Health Anxiety) are triggered by my GAD/Depression are as followed :
Shortness of breath
Fatigue
Body weakness
Strange head pressure
Tight/heavy chest
Palpitations
Ice cold hands/feet
Muscle spasms/twitches
Racing thoughts
Inability to sit still
Weak/faint pulse
Rapid heart rate
Blurred vision
Ringing in ears
Occasional headaches
Seeing things (i.e. black spots, polka dots, flashing lights, squiggly lines - all are either directly in my line of sight OR I catch them out of the corners of my eyes. When I go to look/focus on them, they vanish..)
Crawling skin sensation
Difficulties getting/staying asleep
Poor/foggy memory
Inability to concentrate (short attention span)
Little to NO recollection of events (even if I JUST talked to someone or messaged someone, I tend to forget about whatever was said almost instantly..)
Depersonalization (feels as if I'm living in a dream-like state and can't make clear distinctions between what is real and what isn't...)
Agoraphobia
Hyperventilation
Tingly sensations (pins and needles)
Chest pains/left arm/left hand/fingers aches/pains
Dry mouth/throat
Involuntary muscle movement
Tensed muscles
Stiff neck/shoulders
Feeling of impending doom
Confusing dreams/vivid nightmares
Waking up with heart pounding (not racing, more on the lines of BOOM...BOOM...BOOM! Very slow-like...)
Sweaty palms/back of neck/armpits
Shakiness
Cold and clammy
Lightheaded/dizzy spells
Uncoordinated (when typing, texting, or writing in my journal..)
That's all I can think of for right now. SO sorry about the grocery list of symptoms, guys! >.<
Anyways...I guess I am desperate for answers here. Have any one of you experienced these symptoms I've listed above before? Have you gone through that specific phobia or similar phobias? What did you personally do to overcome your Anxiety and your Phobias? What worked best? How long did it take? What kind of support group (if you had one) did you have? Are you doing better or worse nowadays?
I'd REALLY like to hear back from at least one person on this forum!
Besides me being at my wits end and scared out of my mind that I'm going to wind up hospitalized or dead, I truly do hope that most of you are off doing well for yourselves and living your lives to the absolute fullest....anxiety-free and phobia-free.....
Be well on your journeys, everyone. Much love!
For the past three months, I have been under-eating and avoiding solid foods all-together. I have developed a rather intense fear of choking. I have battled with this phobia twice before in the past and miraculously managed to overcome it both times. It took so much out of me to do so, however. Bouts with this fear come at a hefty cost, especially to get over.
I have been drinking nutrition shakes like Ensure for my proteins, vitamins, and mineral intake. I also drink smoothies for that extra kick, so to speak. I'm alright with soft foods like tuna, cornbread, muffins, donuts, SOME cold cuts, etc. I have been trying my hardest to incorporate at least one solid meal a day as I am concerned that this bout will be my worst. I dread being hospitalized for malnutrition. Heck, sometimes I think to myself "maybe that's best at this point..."
This phobia only adds to my already debilitating depression. See, I was diagnosed with both GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and severe Depression at just age 8. I am 20 years old now. I guess you could say I suffer periodically with an anxiety-induced eating disorder...if that makes any sense at all?
I have been struggling these past few months and every day it feels like I am JUST barely clinging on to life, or a "normal" life, at least. Lately, all I have been wanting to do is SLEEP. I just want to sleep this all off as if it were one big, vivid nightmare or something. The reality of things is that I haven't woken up yet...this thing is very real. My list of recent symptoms that I THINK (emphasis on THINK as I also suffer from Health Anxiety) are triggered by my GAD/Depression are as followed :
Shortness of breath
Fatigue
Body weakness
Strange head pressure
Tight/heavy chest
Palpitations
Ice cold hands/feet
Muscle spasms/twitches
Racing thoughts
Inability to sit still
Weak/faint pulse
Rapid heart rate
Blurred vision
Ringing in ears
Occasional headaches
Seeing things (i.e. black spots, polka dots, flashing lights, squiggly lines - all are either directly in my line of sight OR I catch them out of the corners of my eyes. When I go to look/focus on them, they vanish..)
Crawling skin sensation
Difficulties getting/staying asleep
Poor/foggy memory
Inability to concentrate (short attention span)
Little to NO recollection of events (even if I JUST talked to someone or messaged someone, I tend to forget about whatever was said almost instantly..)
Depersonalization (feels as if I'm living in a dream-like state and can't make clear distinctions between what is real and what isn't...)
Agoraphobia
Hyperventilation
Tingly sensations (pins and needles)
Chest pains/left arm/left hand/fingers aches/pains
Dry mouth/throat
Involuntary muscle movement
Tensed muscles
Stiff neck/shoulders
Feeling of impending doom
Confusing dreams/vivid nightmares
Waking up with heart pounding (not racing, more on the lines of BOOM...BOOM...BOOM! Very slow-like...)
Sweaty palms/back of neck/armpits
Shakiness
Cold and clammy
Lightheaded/dizzy spells
Uncoordinated (when typing, texting, or writing in my journal..)
That's all I can think of for right now. SO sorry about the grocery list of symptoms, guys! >.<
Anyways...I guess I am desperate for answers here. Have any one of you experienced these symptoms I've listed above before? Have you gone through that specific phobia or similar phobias? What did you personally do to overcome your Anxiety and your Phobias? What worked best? How long did it take? What kind of support group (if you had one) did you have? Are you doing better or worse nowadays?
I'd REALLY like to hear back from at least one person on this forum!
Besides me being at my wits end and scared out of my mind that I'm going to wind up hospitalized or dead, I truly do hope that most of you are off doing well for yourselves and living your lives to the absolute fullest....anxiety-free and phobia-free.....
Be well on your journeys, everyone. Much love!