Wintear
27-02-14, 23:40
Before I begin, I apologize for posting twice today as I know some may recognize this as spam or at least bordering spam...I just didn't know whether or not to incorporate this into any of my other posts. So sorry!
But, have any of you guys been so stressed, so anxious, and so panicky that you came face to face with your personal breaking point? Seriously, I feel SO on edge and jumpy as of late. I'm almost always in a foul mood and I'll snap (not on purpose as I feel downright terrible about it afterwards..) at those around me such as family members or friends. For example, yesterday morning I was completely overtaken by this strangling fear and anxiety because my dentist appointment had to be pushed back further in the week due to me getting a late start to the day. (This was fault of my own so I became very upset, disappointed, and displeased with myself..) This anxiety quickly turned into a palpable anger. The frustration kept building and building inside of me. I couldn't take it anymore and so I "screamed" silently to myself and ended up punching the wall beside of my computer desk with all of my force. About a half hour later, I had somewhat regrouped and realized what I had done. I was genuinely afraid of myself at that point. Such a nasty mood and unstable temper. Outbursts like those are extremely rare for me, so I don't understand. That's not the real me, ya'know? I'm generally a happy-go-lucky fella always smiling and doing my best to aid others in their struggles.
It's like I've been consumed by so much anxiousness that I'm becoming more and more bitter as the days go by. "My descent into total madness" as I have dubbed it...
During these episodes, my Mind either goes blank or begins to race a mile a minute. I can't seem to control it and get a grip, so this in turn makes me even more on-edge and panicky. Intrusive thoughts can trigger these cycles and I've been battling those for quite some time, too. They're vicious lately.
I've constructed a bit of an "evolution" scale. It goes like this :
Anxiety/Panic - Anguish/Despair - Isolation/Depression
That's typically how it goes for me. By the end of it all, I'm deeply depressed to the point where I shut out the entire World and lose all hope of recovery. The energy I emit becomes very dark and negative. All in all, I fear the most that one day, I'm not going to be able to contain all of this pressure and eventually lose my Mind over it. I envision myself being charted off to some insane asylum or closed-in hospital room where I'm constantly being monitored by doctors and therapists because I'm a danger to myself or others. I don't want that. I can't believe that to be me someday...
Have you guys ever been through an ordeal like this in the past? If so, would you mind sharing your symptoms/stories? How'd you overcome it? How long of a process was it?
Thank you all and be well.....
But, have any of you guys been so stressed, so anxious, and so panicky that you came face to face with your personal breaking point? Seriously, I feel SO on edge and jumpy as of late. I'm almost always in a foul mood and I'll snap (not on purpose as I feel downright terrible about it afterwards..) at those around me such as family members or friends. For example, yesterday morning I was completely overtaken by this strangling fear and anxiety because my dentist appointment had to be pushed back further in the week due to me getting a late start to the day. (This was fault of my own so I became very upset, disappointed, and displeased with myself..) This anxiety quickly turned into a palpable anger. The frustration kept building and building inside of me. I couldn't take it anymore and so I "screamed" silently to myself and ended up punching the wall beside of my computer desk with all of my force. About a half hour later, I had somewhat regrouped and realized what I had done. I was genuinely afraid of myself at that point. Such a nasty mood and unstable temper. Outbursts like those are extremely rare for me, so I don't understand. That's not the real me, ya'know? I'm generally a happy-go-lucky fella always smiling and doing my best to aid others in their struggles.
It's like I've been consumed by so much anxiousness that I'm becoming more and more bitter as the days go by. "My descent into total madness" as I have dubbed it...
During these episodes, my Mind either goes blank or begins to race a mile a minute. I can't seem to control it and get a grip, so this in turn makes me even more on-edge and panicky. Intrusive thoughts can trigger these cycles and I've been battling those for quite some time, too. They're vicious lately.
I've constructed a bit of an "evolution" scale. It goes like this :
Anxiety/Panic - Anguish/Despair - Isolation/Depression
That's typically how it goes for me. By the end of it all, I'm deeply depressed to the point where I shut out the entire World and lose all hope of recovery. The energy I emit becomes very dark and negative. All in all, I fear the most that one day, I'm not going to be able to contain all of this pressure and eventually lose my Mind over it. I envision myself being charted off to some insane asylum or closed-in hospital room where I'm constantly being monitored by doctors and therapists because I'm a danger to myself or others. I don't want that. I can't believe that to be me someday...
Have you guys ever been through an ordeal like this in the past? If so, would you mind sharing your symptoms/stories? How'd you overcome it? How long of a process was it?
Thank you all and be well.....