annie.hall
28-02-14, 13:17
I've been feeling quite anxious all week because I had to take my first test at school since going back. It had been a year and I was terrified. I had slept about three hours the night before and I thought I'd never make it. I did make it to school and I got to do my test even if it felt like a nightmare at times. But then I was left with residual anxiety (which is often the case when I push myself hard) and I had a racing heart and nausea for the rest of the day. I managed to go back home, but it was an ordeal. I woke up in a panic attack last night and had about 4 hours to sleep. I work today and I didn't call in sick because I want to try to go, and I have all of these wonderful (not) scenarios about how I'm too tired and too stressed out and maybe I'm going to die. Anyways, I feel like the people around me think that the right decision is to go to work when I'm feeling like this, but I feel like I need a break to charge my batteries. I feel as if it's almost dangerous for my mental health to challenge myself again today, at a lower level. What do you think? I'm still going though because I'm trying to beat this thing down, but I'm like : do we ever get to have a break?