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View Full Version : Travelling abroad, and taking health anxiety along too...



Idris
01-03-14, 16:28
Some quick background info......

Ive had HA since my twenties when I had malignant melanoma. My thirties and forties were peppered with random unpredictable episodes of SVT (pulse of 180 - 210) which I mostly managed by doing the valsalva manouver. But I did have three bouts (due to being hyperthyroid) which had to be converted back into normal heart rhythm in ER with Adenosine (traumatic experiences I REALLY would like to forget). And of course had (harmless) extra/skipped beats most days.

These last couple of years Ive had thyroid issues, either super high, or really low levels, now sorted by thyroxine, and the palps and SVTs have settled with bisoprolol.

A heart scare last year proved to be a virus that caused me to have raised cardiac enzymes in a blood test, NOT a heart attack (which I nearly went quite mad worrying about). On the plus side however, I was given an angiogram which showed clear unblocked arteries, and a cardiac mri which showed normal pumping action. My cholesterol is under 4 and my blood pressure is low, so I know my hearts good!

So although my heart rhythm and thyroid is under control, I was told last year that my hip pain was actually arthritis and I needed a hip replacement! But Ive cancelled two scheduled operations because Ive got a cold sick fear of developing a DVT (which would of course defy good odds and develop into a PE and kill me). The hip pains not that bad (yet) and Ive just had a cortisone jab in the joint which seems to have done wonders....

But of course I continue to worry about every twinge and pain, like a dog chasing its tail, forever and ever :-(

The point of this monologue is......

Im 50 this year and becoming acutely aware that life is passing me by. My sons are now all in their late teens and pretty much independent. My job is finishing in July, Ive got money put aside, and I am feeling a wild urge to pack a bag and take off somewhere for a month, or six. I know Im in mid life crisis mode, but.....

Before I had the skin cancer I spent a few really happy years travelling around the US and nearly a year in South Africa. A lot of times travelling on my own. (This of course was before I lost my confidence in my health, became an anxious shadow of myself)

I dont want to sit here waiting for something dreadful to happen. I want to live a bit before I die (probably of something Ive not actually got on my extensive worry list), but Im struggling with the thought of arriving at my gap year destination and becoming paralysed with anxiety, or god forbid I have a health crisis.....

What would you do? What did you do?

Have any of you managed to take any plunges, travel, escape in any way from your health anxiety?

Any positive tales or good advice you can share?

anthrokid
02-03-14, 00:02
I actually had an awful experience on an overseas trip (in a third world country with no access to immediate medical help) that triggered the panic disorder and severe anxiety I used to suffer from. Going back last year and living in the village again as a local was, I feel, the final stage in my recovery. Whilst I hadn't suffered from any HA, panic attacks, etc for a couple of year, I still had a very negative memory of my favourite place in the world, and very much still a fear of travelling. A good friend came with me, and I remember sitting in the plane as we were landing thinking "Oh gosh, what have I done? Am I going to ruin years of hard work and recovery in a day?". Two days later I couldn't even imagine not being there. After 2 months there, I was devastated to be coming back home, and I've yearned to be there every day since.

That's my experience. I say - take the plunge and do it. Look at it as the next step in your recovery. And hey, if things get too bad there's always a plane to jump back on and head back home!

unsure_about_this
02-03-14, 08:52
I am okay with health anxiety abroad but as soon as I come back I get my health anxiety back after a few days.

Idris
02-03-14, 09:15
Thanks for your replies! It's good to hear your opinions.

Unfortunately my week of crap sleep, waking up every couple of hours, all night, had a real turn last night. Woke up after half an hour really disorientated, heart racing, sweaty underarms, rush for the loo... Had a full on panic attack and didn't get back off until after 3am. Then wide awake at 6am. I've got a lot on my plate at the minute and the anxiety is crawling back up. Have just started seeing a lovely counsellor, and after last nights near death/heart attack experience I think a visit to my doctor may be in order next week.

I know I'm flat and dog tired, but I can't believe that I would cope with horror nights like that in a strange country, on my own.

Ridiculous isn't it, I've become so absolutely afraid of dying that I've made my existence a literal living hell, no peace of mind, and no courage to actually get out there and live it. Sorry for the negativity, I know it's fatigue talking