Oh my god, help.

[GlassPinata]

So I went to the doctor today for my anxiety and depression.
He prescribed Wellbutrin and a sedative for insomnia, which the Wellbutrin will apparently cause.
He also ordered complete bloodwork: a CBC (complete blood count), a thyroid test, and a complete metabolic panel, to check liver function, etc.
The problem is, I didn't realize what all he was testing for until after they did the blood draw. They didn't explain. I wouldn't have consented.

My husband had a complete metabolic panel done over ten years ago, when he was applying to participate in a research study. His liver enzymes came back very elevated. they told him he might have a liver problem, maybe hepatitis C.
Because he is uninsured, he never followed up on this. He remains healthy and symptom free to this day (but that doesn't mean anything; hepatitis C often takes twenty or thirty years to begin to cause symptoms).
Since then, I've always been terrified about this, but I try to put it out of my mind so I can live my life.
I've always been scared, though, that if he DOES have some kind of hepatitis, I probably have it as well. After all, we're married.

Anyway, after I found out that the doctor had ordered a complete metabolic screen for me, I freaked out.
Once I got home, I called back to the clinic and told him I wanted to cancel the blood tests.
He was angry and said it was highly irregular, etc.
I explained to him why, and I told him, "I'm having such terrible emotional problems right now that I can't stand to find out that I'm physically ill as well."
I told him I did not require a refund, I was sorry I had wasted his time, I wouldn't fill the prescriptions for the medicine, whatever... just please discard those blood samples. I do not want the results! If it did turn out that I have a serious disease like Hepatitis, that could also affect my insurance status, etc. I think I have a right to decline liver function testing if I want to (albeit, it would've been better to decline it BEFORE they actually drew the blood).

The doctor still seemed highly irritated, but he finally said, "I will meet you half way. I will cancel the metabolic screen, but I still want to do the thyroid test. That's the most important one."
So I agreed, and we hung up.

But now I'm terrified that he'll forget, or he won't really cancel it.

I am supposed to get my results back in 3 to 5 days.
I am more scared than I have ever been in my life. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR that my liver enzymes are elevated right now. I can't stand one more thing, I really can't. I honestly do plan to follow up on that, to have that test, at some point in the future (and to make my husband follow up on his irregular test results as well).
But now is NOT that time. I can't tolerate one more thing right now, I truly can't. I'll break. I just need... not to have any bad medical test results right now.
I went in to the clinic for help with a mental problem, and ended up with the threat of all these blood test results. I am freaking out! One panic attack on top of another, I'm hyperventilating, i can't cope. I feel like I am going to receive a death sentence in 3 to 5 days. i want to run away, change my name, ANYTHING so that they can't find me and tell me I have a terminal illness. I did not go to the doctor for that! I am not ready to explore that right now. I just want help with my anxiety, which had reached an intolerable level (at least I THOUGHT it was intolerable before I went to the doctor. Now it's a thousand times worse. Now I know what "intolerable" REALLY means).

Do you think he'll really cancel that blood test? He said he would. but he was very angry. What if they do it anyway? I mean, they have the blood.
Oh please, somebody give me some reassurance that they'll cancel that test.
If he said he will, then he has to, right?
ARRRGGGH. i'm going nuts. this is the worst.

[Fishmanpa]

GP,

While I understand the fear, to do what you did is illogical and irresponsible to yourself. I hope you reconsider for your own health's sake, both mental and physical.

Positive thoughts

[GlassPinata]

GP,

While I understand the fear, to do what you did is illogical and irresponsible to yourself. I hope you reconsider for your own health's sake, both mental and physical.

Positive thoughts


I need to deal with my mental health issues before I can deal with the threat of a potentially incurable terminal illness.
It's something I've always known I will need to look into, but today is not the day that i want to look into it.
Today is the day that i want to get some help with my mental health issues, not find out I have fatal health issues on top of it all.
I think they should've explained more fully before they drew the blood.

[nomorepanic]

You need to deal with real medical issues before mental health ones to be honest

[harasgenster]

Well obviously they need consent before they conduct tests, but why are you so scared that you would receive bad news right now rather than later? I don't mean that in a harsh way, but surely it would be better to know earlier? And you don't know for certain that your husband has Hepatitis C.

You currently believe your stress is intolerable. It is not. Again, I do not mean that to sound harsh, but it is the very belief that emotions are 'intolerable' that drives some mental health disorders (particularly anxiety). If you want to help yourself, get that out of your mind. Stress won't kill you, you'll feel like crap, but that's all. You can cope with feeling like crap.

I would get those blood tests done. It is totally normal for doctors to take blood tests for anxiety problems, seeing as anxiety problems mimic or can be caused by physical disease. Your doctor is doing the right thing.

[RoseEve]

I agree it is really important to know your physical health status before treating mental health. I always have slightly high liver results I've been tested for hep many times. I'm fine. Often it's diet related. I think you should reconsider this.

[Althea]

I'm with the chorus here, GP--you're not going to get better by ducking ways in which you could be ill. Humans don't parcel out as neatly as you're making it sound. I understand you feel like you didn't have control in a situation where you wanted it, and that that can be upsetting, but this was a reasonable medical plan, and if you're genuinely concerned about physical symptoms, I hope you'll consider pursuing it.

And frankly, the odds are that your husband doesn't have hepatitis C anyway, and that you wouldn't get it from him if he did--it's not usually spread through sexual contact and hardly ever through casual contact. Think also of the irony of considering it to be simultaneously a disease that will destroy your life and a disease that hasn't bothered your husband in the slightest for over a decade, and how much you're shaping it to fit the narrative to make those both true.

I hope you'll get some rest tonight and find this easier tomorrow.

[mbarger33]

Do you guys drink alcohol at all? My doctor told me the same thing. Turns out it was because I had a few beers the night before. He retested me a week later and there was nothing.

so alcohol can effect these tests.
advil or Tylenol can effect these tests.
cigarette smoke can effect these tests
lots of processed foods can effect these tests.

I'm not a doc but that'swhat my doc told me after he scared me wwith "it might be hep c" and I tested normal after stopping all the above for a week..

so take a deep breath relax and get the tests done he suggests. Then work on your anxiety depression.

[Phuzella]

LIver enzymes can be raised for a number of reasons and Hep C is incredibly difficult to catch. I know from personal experience. I also know how scary it is to have LFT blood tests, and the relief when they come back OK. :)