jayjoe18
02-03-14, 19:33
Hi guys, not been on here for a while but just wanted to drop in to share my news... I MADE IT TO MEXICO!!!!
Some of you may have seen my previous threads regarding my anxiety about going away, I was nearly at the point of cancelling it got that bad..... but I actually made it! I'm so proud :D haha.
It wasn't exactly plain sailing either, we were on the runway ready to set off when the pilot smelt something coming from the engine, so we had to abort take off! Luckily we hadn't yet taken off, I dread to think what would have happened, we never got back on that plane as it was not able to be repaired.
I then had to deal with 10 hour delays stuck in the busy airport with all those people (which should of made my anxiety unbearable but for some strange reason I actually coped) then we had the 11 hour flight, which again, should of made my anxiety terrible but I was fine! I can't quite believe that I managed it. I went on to have the most AMAZING week in Mexico and I mean amazing! I wish we stayed longer! I had NO ANXIETY and felt so free and happy, I haven't felt like that in years. It was absolutely bliss, I was just like my old self :yesyes:
There was so much I tackled there that would normally be impossible due to anxiety, I went with 2 other people outside of my family and outside of my comfort zone. I ate around people and was constantly in social environments. I dealt with the whole germ situation (using cups etc, not washing hands all the time) I used the toilet in public places, I made conversations, spoke to strangers, took an hours trip out (twice!) which would normally make me panic incase I needed the loo while travelling. I zip wired across the jungle over tigers (and made it to the highest zip line in latin America, and only 2 others managed that!) I swam with fish and snorkelled (something that made me panic before) there was a shark scare on the beach, I held a python.... and so much more! I just feel like I conquered the world, even just by getting there and being around people.
I just don't understand how I did all that! I really think it must have something to do with the fight or flight. Usually I would be able to leave, but because of the situation, I was forced to stay, no other options, so I had to fight.
The crazy thing is, before going I thought I would feel utter relief to come home but I was actually so sad, I didn't want to come back just yet, even though home is my safe place. I cried a little once home as I then realised how miserable I am with my life here. The holiday really opened my eyes to what I've been missing and how great my life could be.
I just felt so at peace and loved being around nature and the beach, I really feel like an environment like that would do wonders for me. I just don't suite city life! I wish I could live there!
I feel on top of the world and so much more confident now since returning, although my anxiety is back a little now home, I do feel that I can start to try more things and build on the progress I made over there.
Onwards and upwards I hope! :yahoo:
Some of you may have seen my previous threads regarding my anxiety about going away, I was nearly at the point of cancelling it got that bad..... but I actually made it! I'm so proud :D haha.
It wasn't exactly plain sailing either, we were on the runway ready to set off when the pilot smelt something coming from the engine, so we had to abort take off! Luckily we hadn't yet taken off, I dread to think what would have happened, we never got back on that plane as it was not able to be repaired.
I then had to deal with 10 hour delays stuck in the busy airport with all those people (which should of made my anxiety unbearable but for some strange reason I actually coped) then we had the 11 hour flight, which again, should of made my anxiety terrible but I was fine! I can't quite believe that I managed it. I went on to have the most AMAZING week in Mexico and I mean amazing! I wish we stayed longer! I had NO ANXIETY and felt so free and happy, I haven't felt like that in years. It was absolutely bliss, I was just like my old self :yesyes:
There was so much I tackled there that would normally be impossible due to anxiety, I went with 2 other people outside of my family and outside of my comfort zone. I ate around people and was constantly in social environments. I dealt with the whole germ situation (using cups etc, not washing hands all the time) I used the toilet in public places, I made conversations, spoke to strangers, took an hours trip out (twice!) which would normally make me panic incase I needed the loo while travelling. I zip wired across the jungle over tigers (and made it to the highest zip line in latin America, and only 2 others managed that!) I swam with fish and snorkelled (something that made me panic before) there was a shark scare on the beach, I held a python.... and so much more! I just feel like I conquered the world, even just by getting there and being around people.
I just don't understand how I did all that! I really think it must have something to do with the fight or flight. Usually I would be able to leave, but because of the situation, I was forced to stay, no other options, so I had to fight.
The crazy thing is, before going I thought I would feel utter relief to come home but I was actually so sad, I didn't want to come back just yet, even though home is my safe place. I cried a little once home as I then realised how miserable I am with my life here. The holiday really opened my eyes to what I've been missing and how great my life could be.
I just felt so at peace and loved being around nature and the beach, I really feel like an environment like that would do wonders for me. I just don't suite city life! I wish I could live there!
I feel on top of the world and so much more confident now since returning, although my anxiety is back a little now home, I do feel that I can start to try more things and build on the progress I made over there.
Onwards and upwards I hope! :yahoo: