Tastee
03-03-14, 01:33
Okay, I have posted a question like this probably like 20 times. Those who know me are probably shaking their head that I must ask this again but please bare with me. Many people here on this website have given me the ease of mind.
I would like to know what you would label my thinking as...
I am convinced I can contract HIV through common contact. For example; today i was with a my gay friend in his room when he rested his hand on my shoulder when he was explaining something to me. He did this a few times. I am not homosexual, and I am 100% fine with it. But something in my mind triggers and says " Gays and HIV, I somehow have now contracted it through him touching me."
I can't even sit on his chair it bugs me out so much. I live in a dorm and I have such an issue using the bathroom/shower because of my hiv/ herpes worries...
I know better. I know it sounds so messed up that, BUT I KNOW BETTER. It's just something in my mind that won't let me get past the thought. I can't even masturbate because of what "might be" on my hand.
It's like part of me says "Joe you're so stupid..you know you can't get it that way"
but then another part of me says "Joe, now you're not going to get that girl in your class because this guy has just given you HIV and you're now doomed."
this has been going on for a year now and it really has been affecting me.
What do some people label this as? I need to be able to live my life without constant fear of contracting an STD through common contact.
that is my fear - std through common contact..
I would like to know what you would label my thinking as...
I am convinced I can contract HIV through common contact. For example; today i was with a my gay friend in his room when he rested his hand on my shoulder when he was explaining something to me. He did this a few times. I am not homosexual, and I am 100% fine with it. But something in my mind triggers and says " Gays and HIV, I somehow have now contracted it through him touching me."
I can't even sit on his chair it bugs me out so much. I live in a dorm and I have such an issue using the bathroom/shower because of my hiv/ herpes worries...
I know better. I know it sounds so messed up that, BUT I KNOW BETTER. It's just something in my mind that won't let me get past the thought. I can't even masturbate because of what "might be" on my hand.
It's like part of me says "Joe you're so stupid..you know you can't get it that way"
but then another part of me says "Joe, now you're not going to get that girl in your class because this guy has just given you HIV and you're now doomed."
this has been going on for a year now and it really has been affecting me.
What do some people label this as? I need to be able to live my life without constant fear of contracting an STD through common contact.
that is my fear - std through common contact..