freakedout
25-11-06, 22:08
Hi everyone.
I just wondered if you too feel misunderstood.
I suffer from panic disorder and depression, and although I do not have an official diagnosis, I KNOW that I have agoraphobia, which varies in severity. I have been absent from work for 18months now on sick leave and my job is coming to an end, as I expected, because I am unable to actually physically go into my workplace due to my panic disorder. I had a good job, although it could be stressful at times, but a job that I very much wanted to do, and studied hard to get where I was. Well this week, I saw my specialist at the hospital, he has been asked to write a health report about me for the Occupational health dept.
He pointed out that my job was stressful. I corrected him and said some parts of it were stressful, but it was not the job that stops me from going to work, but being in situations, such as the office, meetings, courses, enclosed spaces, and even driving my car that I cannot tolerate (these were just a few of hundreds of examples I could give!).
He said I should think about getting a less stressful job, in the future.
I am sooooo disappointed. I feel totally misunderstood. I can think of less stressful jobs but they all involve being away from my home alone. I very rarely go anywhere alone, and if I do I end up panicking and lose touch with reality, dp and dr. I was counting on my specialist to understand me, in order to write an accurate report to my employers. I expect he will write that I need a less stressful job. He just doesnt get it at all.
I feel like I have to explain myself all the time, try to justify why I am unable to work, or go to places. I feel like people think I am a fake or just lazy, and I know I am pathetic. I would love to have half of my former life back right now, to be able to go to work, to feel as though I have a sense of purpose and a future. I feel trapped by my own fears and phobias, and the torment is endless.
I just wondered if anyone else feels this way. I also wondered if anyone actually knows of a cause for their panic disorder. I often think that there has to be a reason why I am like I am, maybe something I am blocking from my childhood. I feel as though if I could get to the root of things I may be able to get better. I told my specialist that, too. He laughed (:() and said perhaps I should stop looking for answers if I cannot find any.
I just dont know what to think anymore. I despair, nobody seems able to understand, is it just me?
Freaky
I just wondered if you too feel misunderstood.
I suffer from panic disorder and depression, and although I do not have an official diagnosis, I KNOW that I have agoraphobia, which varies in severity. I have been absent from work for 18months now on sick leave and my job is coming to an end, as I expected, because I am unable to actually physically go into my workplace due to my panic disorder. I had a good job, although it could be stressful at times, but a job that I very much wanted to do, and studied hard to get where I was. Well this week, I saw my specialist at the hospital, he has been asked to write a health report about me for the Occupational health dept.
He pointed out that my job was stressful. I corrected him and said some parts of it were stressful, but it was not the job that stops me from going to work, but being in situations, such as the office, meetings, courses, enclosed spaces, and even driving my car that I cannot tolerate (these were just a few of hundreds of examples I could give!).
He said I should think about getting a less stressful job, in the future.
I am sooooo disappointed. I feel totally misunderstood. I can think of less stressful jobs but they all involve being away from my home alone. I very rarely go anywhere alone, and if I do I end up panicking and lose touch with reality, dp and dr. I was counting on my specialist to understand me, in order to write an accurate report to my employers. I expect he will write that I need a less stressful job. He just doesnt get it at all.
I feel like I have to explain myself all the time, try to justify why I am unable to work, or go to places. I feel like people think I am a fake or just lazy, and I know I am pathetic. I would love to have half of my former life back right now, to be able to go to work, to feel as though I have a sense of purpose and a future. I feel trapped by my own fears and phobias, and the torment is endless.
I just wondered if anyone else feels this way. I also wondered if anyone actually knows of a cause for their panic disorder. I often think that there has to be a reason why I am like I am, maybe something I am blocking from my childhood. I feel as though if I could get to the root of things I may be able to get better. I told my specialist that, too. He laughed (:() and said perhaps I should stop looking for answers if I cannot find any.
I just dont know what to think anymore. I despair, nobody seems able to understand, is it just me?
Freaky