Help with a child suffering from PA's

[Juliep]

Can anyone offer advice please?

My daughter is suffering from PA's, anxiety and agorphobia.

Symptoms have been 'bubbling' under for a about a year and has really come to a head recently where I need to get treatment - fast!

She is quite a lonely girl, has friends at school but contacts no one at the weekend or after school. She dosen't like to go out and freeks out if the normal pattern of the day changes for her.

She cannot catch the bus home form school, reluctantly goes out with the family ie. trips to London or holidays, and has trouble with eating. She has problems with certain class room situations and her education is now suffering.

I think it all started with a bout of bullying a couple of years ago and that seems to have triggered her lack of confidence.

I have been to the GP who is reffering us to the paediatric behavoural unit and also has advised some paed.psy councelling.

I am dealing with issues daily, feel totally out of my depth and want to hear from anyone who can offer guidence...

Thank you!

[yorkylover]

Hi Julie and welcome th the forum.I dont have children,but Im sure you will get alot of support here from people who do.They are all very supportive and helpful.;)

Ellen XX

[Hexia]

I have suffered anxiety myself for 3 years, and now my youngest boy is the same. He is getting treatment at the moment.
I think what's important is to listen to your daughter and not force her to do anything she is scared to do. That will do no good. When ever you go places or do something she's scared of, reassure her that you are there for her, that she is safe, that you'll take care of her.
Her education might suffer for a while, but she'll catch up on that once she feels better.
I hope I have been of a little help here. If you need anymore, feel free to pm me.

"You can't yell loud enough to make me shut up."

[jill]

Hi Julie :D


WELCOME TO THE SITE

My heart goes out to you on this hun. I came to the site a few years ago suffering pa's, high anxiety, living in fear 24/7. This site has been a godsend to me. I am now pa and high anxiety free. All because of this site, the information and all the special people who post and replie to post. [^]:D

I have a daughter who suffered pa's, anxiety from the age of 3. She is now 13 and doing very well. Howerever she did have a blip early this year and it took her a good few months to get herself back into school. BUT she did it and I', soooo pround of her :D What your daughter is doing now, is fearing another pa, high anxiety, this can be soooo hard for your daughter because she does not know whats going on. I am sooo sorry to hear that she has been bullied, :( and you feel that this has triggered the pa's. My heart goes out to you both.

After my daughter first pa,( age 3 years) things went out of control and she began avoiding things, partys, days out, playing out and other things, ohhh long story. She was sooo young at the time and we as a family, thought that there was somthing else wrong with her, it took them 3 years, before they told us she was having pa,s, anxiety.( age 6 years) She developed alot of learned behavour and it took time to change this, but in time she got better.

You do not mention how old your daughter is. Is she old enough to join the forums, to read things about pa's, anxiety [?]

I can understand you feeling out of your depth, but you are doing all you can. Please don't be to hard on yourself, to understand what you daughter is going though and seeing her like this, must be soooo hard for you. I know what your going through and I know how much is hurts.:( I never new what my daughter went through, untill a few years ago. Time is a great healer and with the support of the counelours and her family, she WILL get better.

What support has the school put it place, can she talk to anyone in school, eg, mentors, this is very important that the school puts something in place. My daughter felt unsafe at school, she feared having another pa or high anxiety attack. The school gave her a toilet pass, so she could use the loo when she wanted and they gave her a time out pass. The time out pass was used went she felt anxiety within a lesson, she could go and stand outside. They also gave her a place to go if things got to much for her, eg, a teatchers room.

The montors aslo offered to teach her how to use her breathing propley, but my daughter allready knows how to do this so she never took them up on that.

What I would say at the mo, is to praise her as much as you can. Look more on all the good things she does. You say she does not go out. Is she ok having friends stay over or come round to your house [?]

I have dealt with many, many people when my daughter was having her blip and apart from this site, everyone I spoke to NEVER understood. They did not seem to think that a child could suffer like this:( but Ohhh yes they can. At onw point my daughter head of year came to our house and I was talking to her about safe zones and she just looked at me as if I'd lost the plot :([V] she dose need some support within the school to stop it from going out of control there. She needs someone she can feel safe with and talk too.

It is dame hard work dealing with a child who is suffering like this. I know I made many, many calls to find someone to talk to who could tell me what I was doing wrong,( if anything wrong) or tell me what to do or should be doing.

The thing is, you are doing everything right, taking one day at a time, getting help for your daughter. Will she go out with you or anyone else [?] encourge her to talk about her thoughts and feeling, if she tell you how she feels, tell her thats ok. She needs lots of reasurance at this time but most of all she needs to feel that she can get better.

Its hard to me to explain how to change your daughter thought pattens on things becuase I'm not with her everyday. Is your daugher old enough

[monty]

Hi, I'm 17- how old is your daughter?

My P.A.s all started with bullying at school too. Firstly, if her education is suffering it is worth talking to the school about it, my problems developed into agoraphobia and I was panicking every time I got to high school. In the end I had to stop but my local council have an exceptional service called LEO (learning electronically online)- you could find out if there'r something similar in your area. I also took my GCSEs at home.

I know how awful panic attacks are and rarely go out any more. It is important that your daughter faces as much of her fears as she can- but you mustn't put too much pressure on her- as long as she realises that the only way things will get easier is if she keep facing them, she will know what is a challenge and what is too much.

I really hope the medical help goes well. If you haven't already you may want to check your daughter's diet is good- caffeine and sugar are bad for panic (but I still can't cut chocolate out completely!!!) and try some natural remedies such as Bach rescue remedy (good diluted in water for her to take to school) and essential oils (lavendar is just one that is calming)

Please PM me anytime- or your daughter can herself if she wants. I hope things get better for you, and if I can offer any more advice please get in touch.

Lucy -x-