Walkingonglass
07-03-14, 11:36
Hi everyone.
Hope you are well.
Everytime I feel any distress about my partner who suffers from anxiety, I always turn to you guys who can fully empathize with my struggles.
I have a partner who is constantly struggling with anxiety, being diagnosed and treated for this 5 years ago, this has over the past 6-7 months flared up again.
I love him more than anything in this world, and God knows that I have supported him through out thick and thin. There has never been a moment where I am NOT there for him, whatever he is going through. And I have learnt to be so patient due to his illness. His behavior isnt always rational and he does not think like most people, but regardless of this I will never get frustrated. Not only do I accept his anxiety, but I love him for everything that he is.
The issue is that, every now and then he will suffer from relationship doubts. "Are we right for eachother" "do we have a future together" etc. And at the same time, he is only 24 and VERY IMMATURE. I can assure you all, we have a perfectly fine relationship and we have all the factors a GOOD relationship need; Trust, Love, Passion, Intimacy, Always there for eachother, Always support eachother, Can always talk to eachother about everything, have been through many struggles in life TOGETHER, etc. When we fist met, we clicked INSTANTLY, we used to sit outside in the cold and talk for 6 hours in a row, every day for atleast 2 weeks and the time flew. We were head over hills with eachother. Eventually that spark went away, like it does in any relationship.
We have been together for almost 3 years, and he keeps getting anxious because we do not have that "spark" any longer. We now have a mature relationship, and a good one but at times he does not seem to realise that. He gets very scared when we speak about marriage because hes scared it will fail (also hes seen alot of failed marriages in his family). He honestly has this thought that a relationship really needs that SPARK feeling, that EXCITEMENT, that WOW feeling ALL THE TIME. Infact, any activity he ever engages in, he gets so HYPED up over it and makes everything in to a WOW moment (if that even makes sense).
He told me yesterday night that for the past month hes been struggling to feel those STRONG feelings that he usually does, and that he has been overthinking constantly whether we will be good together in a marriage. He said "Do me and you have that spark?" "Do me and you have things to last a lifetime" "Could I talk to you for days and days without getting bored" (His exact words). He doesnt understand that for a GOOD relationship, you dont necessarily need all those things! Those things are just shallow, and I constantly try to explain to him that what we have is companionship and that is worth more than anything else. He has this distorted view of how a relationship should be, always so exciting and amazing, and everytime it isnt between us he doubts whether we actually go. He is the type of person to get bored easily with ANYTHING.
These doubts are killing me, and they always make me feel like there is something wrong with ME, and that maybe one day he will find a girl who he will always feel so amazing with and never have any doubts.
What do you guys think, do you think his doubts stem from his anxiety?
Thank you so much.
xoxo
Hope you are well.
Everytime I feel any distress about my partner who suffers from anxiety, I always turn to you guys who can fully empathize with my struggles.
I have a partner who is constantly struggling with anxiety, being diagnosed and treated for this 5 years ago, this has over the past 6-7 months flared up again.
I love him more than anything in this world, and God knows that I have supported him through out thick and thin. There has never been a moment where I am NOT there for him, whatever he is going through. And I have learnt to be so patient due to his illness. His behavior isnt always rational and he does not think like most people, but regardless of this I will never get frustrated. Not only do I accept his anxiety, but I love him for everything that he is.
The issue is that, every now and then he will suffer from relationship doubts. "Are we right for eachother" "do we have a future together" etc. And at the same time, he is only 24 and VERY IMMATURE. I can assure you all, we have a perfectly fine relationship and we have all the factors a GOOD relationship need; Trust, Love, Passion, Intimacy, Always there for eachother, Always support eachother, Can always talk to eachother about everything, have been through many struggles in life TOGETHER, etc. When we fist met, we clicked INSTANTLY, we used to sit outside in the cold and talk for 6 hours in a row, every day for atleast 2 weeks and the time flew. We were head over hills with eachother. Eventually that spark went away, like it does in any relationship.
We have been together for almost 3 years, and he keeps getting anxious because we do not have that "spark" any longer. We now have a mature relationship, and a good one but at times he does not seem to realise that. He gets very scared when we speak about marriage because hes scared it will fail (also hes seen alot of failed marriages in his family). He honestly has this thought that a relationship really needs that SPARK feeling, that EXCITEMENT, that WOW feeling ALL THE TIME. Infact, any activity he ever engages in, he gets so HYPED up over it and makes everything in to a WOW moment (if that even makes sense).
He told me yesterday night that for the past month hes been struggling to feel those STRONG feelings that he usually does, and that he has been overthinking constantly whether we will be good together in a marriage. He said "Do me and you have that spark?" "Do me and you have things to last a lifetime" "Could I talk to you for days and days without getting bored" (His exact words). He doesnt understand that for a GOOD relationship, you dont necessarily need all those things! Those things are just shallow, and I constantly try to explain to him that what we have is companionship and that is worth more than anything else. He has this distorted view of how a relationship should be, always so exciting and amazing, and everytime it isnt between us he doubts whether we actually go. He is the type of person to get bored easily with ANYTHING.
These doubts are killing me, and they always make me feel like there is something wrong with ME, and that maybe one day he will find a girl who he will always feel so amazing with and never have any doubts.
What do you guys think, do you think his doubts stem from his anxiety?
Thank you so much.
xoxo