View Full Version : Crap. Panic Attack Starting.
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-03-14, 15:21
Hi--
I have a lot of catching up to do on here…..been offline for the last few weeks….will get caught up soon, but right now…..this dragon slayer is under attack.
Trying to fend a full blown attack- which I haven't had since December.
Trying to do mindfulness breathing right now. Trying to keep from vomiting as I just took my Sert and don't know what to do if I throw up a dose??
Need you, my friends…...
Hi TMT,
Argh!!, you've been doing so well. You know it's a glitch and with the control I know you have you'll soon tame that dragon with the conviction and determination that we know you have. Stand tall and arm yourself with the shield of strength.
Stand and deliver......... Xxx
---------- Post added at 15:26 ---------- Previous post was at 15:24 ----------
If it means anything, I've just come back from a cycle ride and the world around me is a dizzy as ever. Got to refocus and plan ahead.......... X
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-03-14, 15:35
UGH!
Getting the full fledged thing- waves of "can't stay on my feet" dizziness, dragon talons clawing into my neck and face, arms are numb, stomach is miserable……trying to breathe. Feeling the panic over the panic creeping in…..I'M STRONGER THAN THIS, and yet it is happening and i can't get it to stop. The fear of falling back where I was is starting to yell in my brain.
Thank you, KLP, for replying!
Because you haven't felt like this for sometime it must come as a shock. It want come back if you don't let it.
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Know I might be hard but distract yourself wholly. Whatever that maybe, call a friend, make a shopping list, read a book, housework, if it needs doing (I know you have said in the past your house is spotless).
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-03-14, 15:44
LOL- did I say my house was spotless?
It is so hard to distract when I am so nauseated- can't stay out of the bathroom….
Trying to focus only on breathing, but I have that terrible mind feeling where my mind is playing all thoughts on fast forward. And, now the shakes have started.
Dang it. I HATE THIS FEELING!
I was wondering where you've been TooMuch!
:hugs:
Don't let this overshadow all of the progress you've made, like you say to me, remember? you know that there will be many bumps on the road ahead, but it's how you react to them that counts, panicking makes it incredibly hard to react in a rational way, I know. But all of us here know you have the strength inside of you to recognise this blip for what it is.
My dragon has popped up over the last few days because he's hungry too, he shocked me at first as I hadn't seen him in a while and he had grown incredibly thin, I almost felt sorry for him. But no, I recognised him, smiled and gave him a cuddle, his times coming to an end.
I'm sure your problem may be similar.
Don't fight it, you can't fight fire with flames.
I hope your feeling better soon :)
LOL- did I say my house was spotless?
LOL,
I remember you saying you kept yourself busy cleaning the house you said it's was spotless. :)
Just breath....... Mind over matter!!!!!!!! X
I was just wondering about and the fact that you haven't posted for a while.. figured you were doing well and kicking Dragon butt...
Deep breaths... focus.. use the weapons at your disposal. You can do this TooMuch... It's just a bout of Dragon indigestion ;)
Positive thoughts
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-03-14, 17:38
Things are calming a bit. It was bad enough that my husband had to leave work to come take care of the baby and preschooler so that I could try to focus on taking care of myself. It is disheartening for him and me both, but this will be a short blip (hoping no more than a day) and I will be back where I have been as of late.
The worst of the attack seems over…..I am now in that terribly weak and exhausted state, still shaking, dizzy, and terribly nauseated, but the panic itself has subsided. Now I am loving myself and coaching myself through the aftershocks.
I wanted to get on here when I was in the worst of it- not just for support, but so that others would see that even once you are in the Land of Recovery there are still times where the dragon will grab you with his teeth, toss you up on his back, and take you for a day trip on the outskirts of Recovery. I now have the reins again though, and am keeping a tight hold as I make him walk me right back home.
I had (and am still fighting off) all the terrible feelings that come with a panic attack. But, I will be fine again very soon. Dragon slayers are made of some very tough stuff.
I know you have the strength and more importantly the right attitude to get over this annoying blip
Take care TMT
That's my girl. Grab a firm hold of the dragons balls and swing him round outside and see if he likes it!
'You have the power'.......!
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-03-14, 22:22
Thank you, friends.
Not a lot of strength yet, but the panic is gone. I now just feel like I've been hit by a train and have a feeling like I drank a fifth of vodka last night. Shakey, nauseous, headache, brain waves, mind chatter, snapshots flooding through my mind every time I close my eyes, and terrible dizziness. Yuck.
Hubby gave up on trying to work and now we are just watching some tv together while the kids nap, awaiting time to pass.
I will be back in full force soon. This was a blip. A good one, but now it's on its way out. Why did it happen? I have my guesses…..I've been pushing myself too hard in each day,- mentally, physically. I have left no room for rest. For recovery maintenance.
Tanner has warned and encouraged us many times about what happens when we quit tending to our recovery and get complacent in keeping our swords sharp. I think I was falling into that.
Not that I was being lazy….just that I am doing SO well that I was living life to the fullest- but I have had a wake up call in that department.
---------- Post added at 16:09 ---------- Previous post was at 16:09 ----------
That's my girl. Grab a firm hold of the dragons balls and swing him round outside and see if he likes it!
Love this!
---------- Post added at 16:14 ---------- Previous post was at 16:09 ----------
Don't fight it, you can't fight fire with flames.
Thanks, Luna. :hugs:
I rode it out- and am now recovering from the burns.
---------- Post added at 16:22 ---------- Previous post was at 16:14 ----------
FMP, Mr.A, KLP, Luna~
Thank you again.
Today was rough. And, KLP is right- the shock of it was one of the worst parts.
Too Much, stuff that damn dragon right back into his cave. This is merely a wake up call. Your dragon felt ignored and was warning you that he is not gone, so don't act like he's gone. You, my friend, are made of much tougher stuff than the dragon. The dragon is a mythological creature fed by our childlike fears and waking nightmares. You created this dragon and only you can finish him off.
So many times I have felt better, felt totally "recovered". I have stopped doing everything that got me to my place of peacefulness. I got too big for my britches and my mythological dragon put me right back down to size. I felt very small and he felt enormous.
You are not mythological. You are blood, bones, soul and spirit. You are real. Your fears and your dragon are not. Remember that! Set aside that 30 minutes a day or an hour, whatever it takes and focus on the dragon slaying tools again. Daily practice of this will set you right and shrink the dragon. Live your life to the fullest but make sure to set aside that time for yourself and your imaginary dragon.
You can do this!
Just think, baby steps. Tomorrow is another day. (Sounds like a bond movie!).
Talking about movies, watch Finding Nemo, I found that a lot of the metaphors behind the story line relevant to anxiety.
Like Dory says.......' Just keep swimming, just keep swimming'.
Nemos father
........And having trust and faith in ones ability to get through tough times.
.......Lost but having faith that you'll find yourself if you really want to.
Pop it on with the children. X
TooMuchToLiveFor
07-03-14, 23:43
Tanner-
I am in 100% agreement with you. Everything you wrote was not only spot on, but brilliantly written. (Btw, now that I am trying to get caught back up here I noticed I have a pm to reply to from you…..will try to get to that tonight. Need to read back to catch up on that thread.)
KLP- You are sounding strong and powerful these days! Are you doing really well? Love it that you were such a strong hand to grab on to today.
I am, I am. Feeling more positive, I've decided to get my head out of my arse, stop dilly dallying over myself, and get on and do things. So I have a long list I am trying to get through it, slowly and steady of course, like you said earlier, rest when your body tells you too.
You've been such an inspiration to me, I'm only doing what you would do. My pleasure (tearing up, now):) I'm off to get some zzz'ds
I truly hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
TooMuchToLiveFor
08-03-14, 02:47
Today is winding down. I'm feeling okay considering the rough go earlier today. It has been very nice spending some time in my chair getting caught up here. Gave me nice, peaceful distraction as I rode out the waves of yuck I had to deal with today.
Lungs are still full of dragon smoke, but the poison is slowly leaving my body. A good night's sleep- and a brand new day tomorrow. There is absolutely no reason to think it will be anything but lovely.
Thanks to you, my NMP gang!
TooMuchToLiveFor
08-03-14, 14:07
Hey KLP,
Going okay today. A little bummed to awaken with the old churning, adrenaline tummy, tremors, and the very maddening mind chatter. Yuck. Way better than yesterday though.
There's that little nagging dragon whisper saying "What if I'm getting really sick again? What if this doesn't go away? Do I have to look forward to bad blips for the rest of my life?"
But, I will stop those thoughts. I will focus on the fact that I am already so much BETTER today than I was yesterday. When my mind is stuck in the chatter loop I will stop and focus on breathing. I will un-velcro my mind from the racing thoughts and cause it to be still in the moment.
I will also take care of my two monkeys who are STILL sick! Agghh! Colt came down with a fever of close to 102 last night and woke early this morning with a very sore throat, headache, and fever. The baby is still hacking and hacking until she makes herself sick. So, lots of mommy-love needed today---- for herself and her babies. ;)
TooMuchToLiveFor
09-03-14, 14:00
Hey All,
Well, it's been two days since my attack. This morning I woke up with that old yucky feeling of nervousness and anxiety coursing through my body. Very nauseated and shaky. I feel like I did about two months ago-- when I was out of crisis mode, but was worried I would never be normal again.
It feels like the Sert just stopped working, or rather is only working at the capacity it did when I was about a month in at 100mg.
I'm using my tools to keep from being in fear that it's coming back, or that it won't go away…..but already I am wondering when peace will return, and it is easy to fear it won't.
A question for longterm SSRI users…..even though you have been on long enough to be established on the meds, do you still have blips as if the meds aren't working? If so, how often, and how long does it normally take you to return to a good place? Is there something that triggers the blip for you, or does it come out of nowhere?
Back to the hard work of making myself put on the armor and pick up my sword to trudge through the battlefield of the day……when just a few days ago I leapt from bed ready to charge to the front lines.
I'm not in anyway weakening in my resolve to fight….I am just back to feeling a little frightened, and I am not enjoying the terrible physical feelings that are back. I'm not frightened that I am in any kind of danger…..just frightened that these awful feelings won't be leaving- at least for awhile.
A couple of things TooMuch....
It's worth a call to your doc concerning the Meds. My daughter was on Sert a couple of years back and it did wonders. Her doc put her back on at Christmas and it did nothing. Sometimes, for whatever reason a SSRI stops working. While these drugs have been around for a while, it's still a relatively new science and there are no rhymes or reasons why they stop working.
Also, this could very well be your body still coming down from two days ago. I know, after I was given the all clear for my heart and chest pain, my chest still hurt (like I'd been punched) for a week afterwards. From what you said, you had a bit of an episode so give it a bit for the effects to wear off.
Positive thoughts
TooMuchToLiveFor
09-03-14, 14:41
Thanks, FMP.
I am really struggling. My husband and I are both in tears as we can't take this happening again. He is so afraid he is going to "lose me again" and so am I!
Will call my GP tomorrow depending on how things go today, but it doesn't look good. Took a Xanax, but it doesn't seem to be doing anything.
I do not mean to be dramatic, but this is just devastating. I pray I will pass through soon, and this will be something I can use to help others, but right now I am clinging to get through the seconds again. :weep:
Fishmanpa is absolutely correct, Too Much. Give it a few days and possibly speak to your physician about the medication. I find that my blips are a cycle, just like the original cycle of anxiety and fear. Once that cycle begins, it takes awhile for me to begin to feel normal again. That fear that you are holding on to, ever so slightly, is just enough to set off the cycle. You know you're not in any danger but just the fear of "when will this go away" is enough to keep the adrenaline flowing.
Go back and read Fishmanpa's post on acceptance this morning. Think of acceptance in terms of "when" and not "what" you are feeling. You will get back. Don't worry.
TooMuchToLiveFor
09-03-14, 16:08
Thank you, Tanner.
I just spoke to a friend who is far down the line with panic disorder, and she is also a long time user of Sert. She said that whenever she messed up with her meds (for her that meant skipping a pill or having too many drinks) it took her about a week to regulate again, and that she felt just like I do now when that would happen. So, I figure even if I didn't mess up my meds per se, I did let myself get way too wound up and running too hot over the course of the last two weeks, so now I might expect about a week to regulate too.
Re-read FMP's "Acceptance" several times…..funny that I am the one who suggested he make it a separate thread, and here I am one of the ones benefitting greatly from it.
It is true that once I looked my fear of not getting back to normal smack dab in the eyes in lessened a bit, but, my gosh, it is hard to get control and "accept" when the "crazy pedal" feels pushed to the floor.
I've calmed a bit again, but feel rather stuck in my chair and wiped out- even though it is only 10am- wait, 11am….need to change my clocks for daylight savings.
Failed to mention- Colt (my four year old) got more and more sick yesterday. We ended up with him at urgent care with a 105+ fever. Later that night he had multiple issues while laying on the living room sofa, so after spending the night trying to clean puke and pee out of our couch……I think we will be going sofa shopping this next week. It was totally due anyway, but it is now past the point of no return.
I fully plan on this time next week being able to reflect on this recent flat tire with a good report on how I changed my tire and am driving smoothly along again. (Rolling my eyes at yet another car comparison.)
cloudbusting
09-03-14, 16:56
Hi TMTLF
Can't really add to the sound advice of the others on here but did want to say that you have had it rough with your little one being so ill and that is an added stress.
Thinking of you x
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 01:35
Yes, CB, I do need to remember that. Sick babies always add stress!
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 13:36
Well,…..this morning is rough again. Really rough. Have already resorted to Xanax, and have been doing my mindfulness breathing for an hour……waves of panic are still washing over me. The mind chatter is relentless, and the constant chills, yet sweating, has been happening for hours. I have my sword out, and I am doing the best I can, but I have got several bad wounds from dragon fire and bites,….and it is hard not to give in right now.
Sick babies aren't helping. Up off and on all night with the baby coughing herself into gagging fits, and the preschooler's fever and stomach pain. Also, can't really leave the house due to the kids being sick, so the idea of pushing myself to get out can't really happen.
Calling doc later today to check in about meds.
I don't know what I am looking for here. Reassurance is nice, but for what? I know and understand the ins and outs of what my body is doing, but panic is such a controlling demon. Beyond the physical aspects-- it is the mental breakdown that is consuming me as much as anything.
I am a fighter, and I will get better again, but right now…..I need back up.
Okay,…gonna go get a bottle ready now. (Teary.) C'mon, Girl.
Hey TMT,
I've haven't been on here for a few days, and thought I'd catch up to see how you were?
Ok, what can I say to help?
Your in the present and yes it's shit that this intruder is stomping all over you with lead cladded boots on. You KNOW that time is a healer, this takes time.
Time...? Is a true shitter with anxiety. Hits you right between the crutch when you think your feeling better.
As much as you are frustrated and pained that you are back at this point, you've already glimpsed into what can be, be encouraged by that.
I did wonder that you could have an episode (excuse the terminology) on meds? I been nieve thinking once on meds and kicked in, you stayed at a plato. I'm not on meds and if I could equate the level of improvement on a day to day basis I feel like I am a 0.1% then every two days it goes back by the same %. What I'm saying is baby steps.
If your unable to get out and get some fresh air put some music on, or sing. I know your babies haven't been too great and that doesn't help trying focus on yourself. Then again, focusing on yourself can have an adverse effect. Argh!
I hope I added something, reflecting on what I've written is jus t a load of gaga! Best listen to tanner and fishmanpa. Xx virtual mummy hug. Xx
---------- Post added at 14:36 ---------- Previous post was at 14:26 ----------
From nothingworks.weebly.com.............
When the energy surge arrives view it no longer with suspicion, fear & dread but with genuine affection for the wisdom and perspective it has gifted us.
(Hard to do, right?)
There may be some emotions of trepidation, but this is normal.
Thought I'd add this xx
just hang in there TMT,you know from experience this difficult time will pass and the sun will shine again
hang in there and dont get frustrated :hugs:
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 16:15
Ah, glad to see you here today, KLP. The reminders and the love are truly what I need. I think encouragement is the best medicine for me right now. I so want to be a strong warrior so that others following my journey will be able to progress in their own……I think being candid about how sh**** I am feeling right now will help it come as less of a surprise to the next person falling into the blip abyss. It is rather like I have fallen back into a deep pit. I can look up and see the light, but can't remember how I actually got out the last time…..
I am hoping that when/if I encounter another attack like this one I will be even stronger, but right now- I am just focusing on being strong for today-- first for this hour, and then the next, and the next, until the day has unfolded. My little boy is really sick, and my baby seems to be getting a little worse too. I am determined to fill our house with love today- for my sick children, for my helpful husband, for my community here,….and for myself.
Think today might be a good day to download that "Never Ending Story" movie, and watch it to see how dragons are handled on there.
---------- Post added at 11:15 ---------- Previous post was at 11:03 ----------
just hang in there TMT,you know from experience this difficult time will pass and the sun will shine again
hang in there and dont get frustrated :hugs:
Hey Buddy, thanks.
I think that as long as I BELIEVE this will pass-- I can make it through….it is just that sometimes the dragon is such a convincing liar that I fall under the spell and start believing it might not!
Also, the fact that my GP and CBT therapist were ecstatic with where I was just Thursday…..and then this happened Friday….is an extra kick in the stomach.
I think my baby falling down the stairs, the new date for my mom's next scan to see if there is any cancer returning, and some lack of tending my "condition" on my part is to blame….., however, I am pushing back this morning…..gonna check in with my doc too.
good luck at the Docs ,keep us posted
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Putting blame and pressure on yourself is only an added pressure that in the case of returning to recovery can only hinder. Like you said focus on the next hour.
What has the GP said about your little one and his temperature?
---------- Post added at 16:30 ---------- Previous post was at 16:28 ----------
It is rather like I have fallen back into a deep pit. I can look up and see the light, but can't remember how I actually got out the last time…..
.... I think the exact same every day.
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 16:46
Yes, you are right. I find that I am beating myself up a bit for not "being smarter about taking care of myself." It is easy when you feel so great to get absorbed in everyday life and have amnesia about where you have been, and where to where you could go back.
Updates on docs:
For Colt- his initial strep and influenza cultures have come back negative, but there is one longterm strep culture that they are still waiting for today. His fever is really hard to get down and keep down, but with lots of TLC we are keeping him comfortable. Even with meds he is staying at 103ish. Just not wanting it to get up to 105 again. That was starting to be alarming. So, fluids, tiny bits to eat, humidifiers, etc.
For Evangeline- we are watching her as her congestion seems to be getting in her chest now. At last check no ears or lungs problems, and she hasn't run a fever, so hoping she doesn't get this new round.
As for me- Have been advised to up the Sert to 125 for a few days. Doctor thinks it could be hormonally driven as my body is still regulating after having the baby, and also because my bc pills got a little messed up this last week. I was worried when she first mentioned that because I was SO sensitive to the SSRI start up process and got so sick, but she thinks I shouldn't have any troubles, so I took an extra 25 a bit ago, and as MrAndy always says-- "I'm going to trust the pills"…., and I always tell people "trust your doctor"…so I am going to do that too.
Funny how in the beginning of all of this I was feeling SO terrible that I felt as if the Sert was like putting poison in my body. Now I willingly take that little yellow pill with no reservations…..
I have also dipped in our "petty cash" fund and bought a few new movies that the kids and I will both enjoy today….the new Disney "Frozen" to start.
Also, since it is 70 degrees here (from the 20s last week) and I had planned a big play date picnic (that I had to cancel due to sick babies)-- I am getting the monkeys and myself into the backyard this afternoon for a backyard picnic…whether I feel like it or not.
Things will get better!
Hmmmmm…..could it be that they already are? Because it is sure hard to FEEL any optimism when backed into the dark corner of the dragon's cave-- even if you know the truth deep down somewhere…...
Things will get better!
Hmmmmm…..could it be that they already are? Because it is sure hard to FEEL any optimism when backed into the dark corner of the dragon's cave-- even if you know the truth deep down somewhere…...
The point is you are surviving right now. You hit the bottom but you do not stay there. It must be scary like nothing to think about sitting there, accepting the fear. But one thing that does work is to accept the recovery. You are going to get there!!! Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Though soon.
Believe in recovery!!!
:hugs:
TooMuchToLiveFor
10-03-14, 18:36
Thank you, LeFi…..and I do, …I really do believe in recovery.
I think sometimes the RETURN of the illness is worse than the illness itself, if that makes sense.
My girlfriends had just thrown a "welcome back party" recently for me…..I don't even have the heart to tell them how far back I am again. Silly, I know. It was just so hard on everyone.
Okay- just looked long and hard at your post. You are right. We are surviving. Hubby has even gone to work, although I wanted to beg him to stay.
Next thing on the list ….gonna force myself to eat as I have reverted back to my protein shake diet, and I know I need to actually eat.
This will all make me stronger and wiser…….thank you again!
Hubby going to work is really great progress! Dont worry about the others, TMT. They will understand as far as they can. For I think if you have not suffered from anxiety yourself, it is almost impossible to understand like the people here. That is most probably why we come back to the forum. Here we are not only accepted but truly understood!
Your children are not well. That is absolutely draining and tough on any mother heart. You manage to care for them, distract them, entertain them and for them you are so strong. I really respect you. You are indeed a very good mother!
Try eating. It gives us also the physical strength we need. Never feel alone. My panic attacks are still lingering. The fear of them are not present, but the fear of the Yucky feelings. So I guess as long as I treasure that fear, so long the panic attacks will surface.
It IS really hard.
My most happy thought currently "Leave all your fears to Him. Focus on today. Focus on Him." Step by step.
If I master THAT, then I will be healed!
I so think of you!!!
You said it best when you said, "Believe"! Keep right on believing.
TooMuchToLiveFor
22-03-14, 17:43
Poop.
After my recent BIG BLIP complete with panic attack loop, etc….I have been making my way back to where I was…..or at least trying to "float" that way.
I could tell last night that my anxiety/depression was rising- and sure enough- fitful night of sleep (non-sleep), and today little, bitty waves of panic are starting to wash over me- and my overall level of physical anxiety symptoms is pretty high.
The self talk is as follows:
"This is how I feel today. Maybe not even today. Maybe just for right now."
"No, this is how I will feel forever. I am now broken, and will never be able to just LIVE like I used to do."
"No, that is a lie. A lie from the pit of Hell. You are a strong person that has been through so much. Your nerves are healing. Healing is a process."
"I can't stand the process anymore!"
"Yes, you can. And, you will. Now what are you going to do right now to help the process?"
And- that is where I am right now.
This picture of an angel on your right shoulder and a little devil on the left pops up in my head.
The same goes here though. Some days I am the sunshine itself. Some days just trying not to have these type of "its ok" or "its the end of everything" conversations rule my entire cognitive space. Then the anxiety symptoms are on the rise.
If you manage to get them down, then please share!
On Friday I took a long soak in a lavendar bath. It helped.
On Saturday I decided not to be "ill" anymore for 24hours. It really helped but the price of exhaustion of the effort is high.
Today, I am just here. Trying to get through it moment for moment. Trying to distract myself.
Lack of sleep is probably the highest contributor to panic/anxiety in my opinion.
Thinking of you a LOT dear friend. :)
TooMuchToLiveFor
23-03-14, 21:05
Hey LeFi,
Thanks for your sweet note! What you said about "the price of exhaustion of the effort is high" is so, so true and well worded. I know exactly what you mean. And, when you are in a blip-loop it isn't doing it the one day that wears you out…..it is knowing that you will need/have to do it again the next day, and then the next, and then the next……
However, I felt it start lifting last night- today the anxiety was super high this morning, but no panic waves, and the dark, depressive feelings seem to be going as well. Please, God!
Is there anything in particular that is niggling your mind these days? Sometimes mine is just a battle of not spending every moment thinking about if I am recovering or not. Please be know whether by thread or pm- I am here for you!
I have also been meaning to write you and tell you-- I think you are a great asset to this board. What I know of you through your posts leads me to believe you are a lovely person, and I am so glad that you found your way here to NMP. :hugs:
Hey LeFi,
Thanks for your sweet note! What you said about "the price of exhaustion of the effort is high" is so, so true and well worded. I know exactly what you mean. And, when you are in a blip-loop it isn't doing it the one day that wears you out…..it is knowing that you will need/have to do it again the next day, and then the next, and then the next……
However, I felt it start lifting last night- today the anxiety was super high this morning, but no panic waves, and the dark, depressive feelings seem to be going as well. Please, God!
Is there anything in particular that is niggling your mind these days? Sometimes mine is just a battle of not spending every moment thinking about if I am recovering or not. Please be know whether by thread or pm- I am here for you!
I have also been meaning to write you and tell you-- I think you are a great asset to this board. What I know of you through your posts leads me to believe you are a lovely person, and I am so glad that you found your way here to NMP. :hugs:
TMT, merely having the word anxiety and all that comes with it, is simply enough to make you fret, let alone not sleeping. My ethos regarding what my mind is telling me, is to stop the link to anxiety. The word, the feeling, any association with it. Even to the point I came off here for a little while, making myself not view negative threads or threads that I didn't have a personal connection with.
I can be too easy to live anxiety, and not just live life 'the real world', the world every single one of us on NMP would long to fully be re-engaged with.
Just to breath and solely focus on the cold air in and the warm air out, can be freeing even if it's just a moment or two. I know you know all this and feel like Im teaching my grandma to suck eggs!! :ohmy:
Good to hear a glimmer of light ahead of you. Don't forget to file the bulls horns!!!:winks:
Your words and support means the world to me. It would be the least I can do to manage to listen with understanding to the other people posting here. Your belief that I am an assest to NMP is a compliment ;-)
Life goes on here in Germany! Currently my kiddos are ill with the flu, which is getting me down a bit. Fortunately it will blow over! Being stuck in a blip-loop (what a wonderful word!) indeed does not hold glamorous future prospects.
I try to stand firm in my belief that we will conquer.
:hugs:
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